Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.
Relax, big spender, we want your knowledge, not your credit card info. If you know about something you think we should know about, let us know (so we can then pretend that we knew about it all along.) Send a tip.
|
Nick Nolte turned 69 yesterday, which in Nolte years means he's about 172. Congratulations, Nick!  posted:2.9.10 filed under: Q: Is Michael J. Fox is a Magnificent Bastard in the 1987 movie The Secret of My Success?
--Daring
A: Well, let's see:
* White high-tops, worn outside of the gym
* Legible t-shirt
* T-shirt under jacket
* Suit jacket (instead of blazer), with padded shoulders
* Michael J. Fox
We're only kidding about Michael J. Fox. He (or at least many of his signature characters) is that rarest of specimens: A toolbag we actually like.
(Special note to champagne aficionados: If a waiter ever opens your bottle of Duval-Leroy and it ejaculates Michael J. Fox, send that bottle back!) posted:2.9.10 filed under:There was such a positive response to the Magnificent Bastard Cocktail Contest we needed to pre-screen the entries in order to achieve the desired number for a single-elimination bracket tournament. Some we could dismiss out-of-hand simply because they either did not qualify as a cocktail or were so insipid they deserve public ridicule, a service which we plan on providing in coming days.
For the remainder, we performed an initial taste test. After a lot of muddling, shaking, straining, and slurring, we narrowed the field down to the 32 best cocktail entries. Check 'em out and feel free to play along at home. The first games start this Thursday, February 11, with the winner to be crowned April 5. posted:2.8.10 filed under: The MB-endorsed wedding ringQ: I know it's totally un-MB of me to decide to get married, but I am wondering what is the most MB wedding ring for a guy to wear. I see so many of these thick tungsten bands around that look like a washer from a car or something. What is an MB to do?
--Alex
A: We've answered this question before (with a chart). posted:2.7.10 filed under:Since Prada is advertising this look for Spring 2010 there is a chance -- albeit unlikely -- of it metastasizing to other menswear designers in upcoming seasons. Don't partake. This look is and always will be Major Toolbag. posted:2.5.10 filed under:Q: Are Stacy Adams Madison shoes sufficiently MB? They are the nicest, hardest wearing $100 shoes I can find.
--Brian
A: These shoes have a very devoted following, and those customers young enough to use a computer rate them very highly at zappos.com. But they're the Ford Taurus of dress shoes. I.e., no one's ever going to look twice in a bad way if you're wearing them. But no one's going to look twice in a good way either. posted:2.5.10 filed under:Even though this photograph came out six days ago, we continue to get queries about it. Most want to know: Did Obama win Bono's sunglasses in a poker game at Davos? Answer: No. These are protective glasses he wore while touring The Chesapeake Machine Company in Baltimore, MD, January 29, 2010. posted:2.4.10 filed under:Q: I was looking for a place to buy a pair of sunglasses like the ones that the character Tony D'Annunzio from Caddyshack wears to the pool. I saw you put them as an example in one of your answers but I can't seem to find where I could buy a pair, or something like them and I was wondering if you knew of a place?
--James
A: Was Tony D'Annunzio The Situation before The Situation?
We cannot determine the exact make or model of D'Annunzio's sunglasses. (If you know, let us know.) The closest we think you're going to get -- and it's pretty close -- is vintage I Ski reflectors like the ones 44 is wearing (inset) before he turned into the most powerful toolbag on earth. These always turn up on eBay or vintage eyewear sites. posted:2.3.10 filed under:Normally, we don't endorse breaking up with your your clothes on the red carpet. But there is one exception: If it looks like you borrowed your fat uncle's shiniest suit, going full McConaughey may be the lesser of two evils. Nice call, Situation! posted:2.2.10 filed under: LA Lakers' Jordan Farmar, apparent Astor and Black customerQ: My boss turned me on to a suit company called Astor and Black. They make custom tailored clothing to meet any specs you could ever want. A tailor supposedly can come to your home or office and measure you up, have you choose the style and fabric of the suit you would like and in 6 to 7 weeks your custom suit arrives. The best part is the price. I was quoted $2200 for 3 suits and 6 shirts, all made to measure. Am I missing something? Why has no one else stubled upon this?
--Greg
A: Greg, we're not familiar with Astor and Black, but have undertaken the task of reviewing about 7 or 8 online custom shirtmakers, so look for that feature later in February. In the meantime, rather than wed Astor and Black in a boss-arranged marriage, first take it on a date and try out a shirt before committing to a complete wardrobe. posted:2.1.10 filed under:Q: Does your 2009 endorsement of retro frames still hold for 2010, because I am looking into buying a pair by Oliver Peoples.
--Max
A: Eyewear is the most personal of accessories, so buy what you like. But yes, we're still on the retro frames bandwagon (glasses and especially sunglasses) and always will be, simply because they almost always offer superior styling and value. In fact, the only pair of glasses made this century seen 'round the office are these $49 Criss nylon frames, typically issued to penitentiary inmates because they cannot easily be weaponized. But for those of us on the outside they're both super light and surprisingly stylish.
posted:2.1.10 filed under:Q: Should an aspiring MB apply the polo shirt N-2 buttoning policy to sport shirts? Should one ever wear such a shirt with only the very top button unbuttoned, or would this be an example of toolbaggery?
--Russell
A: Unfortunately that simple formula does not apply to sport shirts because there are other factors at work, like button spacing, collar shape and size, and abundance (or, preferably, absence) of chest hair. In other words, it depends.
But to illustrate where we lean, take a look at a TBT (Typical Bravo Toolbag) at the top with two unbuttoned, and MB icon Paul Newman in a western -- a shirt almost demanding N-2 -- with just the top button unbuttoned. posted:1.29.10 filed under:Q: MB. Emergency. I've been watching the price on an Michael Bastian Winter 2008 NWT Orange w/corduroy detail ski jacket/vest. Cool or uncool? $400 including shipping? Pull the trigger? Product is modeled on the Bastian website, FYI.
--Paul
A: We love just about every stitch of clothing Michael Bastian has created since launching his line two years ago. The only problem is his ridiculous pricing. Dude, you're not Tom Ford!
The ski jacket's original price was $1685 -- for that, we think a pair of Rossignols and a season pass at Vail should be included. But at $400, we bless this purchase decision. You get a cool jacket and a cool vest, so it's like getting 2 for 1 (OK, maybe 1.4 for 1, 1.5 tops). posted:1.29.10 filed under:Q: How does an MB wear his ID badge at work? None of the options (lanyard, clip-on, stapled to the forehead, etc.) seem particularly magnificent or bastardly....and certainly not both together. Any suggestions?
--Mickey
A: Our primary suggestion is to not have a job where an ID badge is required. A well-endowed trust fund is another good option. But sometimes you gotta feed the monkey, which is where a reinterpretation of the classic luggage tag comes in. On sale right now at giltman.com is this Jack Spade boar skin version for just $18. Sale ends tonight at 11PM CT.
(Again, if you'd like an invitation to Gilt Man -- currently our favorite shopping site -- drop a line.) posted:1.28.10 filed under:A bit of sad news. California brand Modern Amusement has been on the ropes for a while, and yesterday owner Mossimo Giannulli (yeah, that Mossimo) finally shuttered it. A lot of the collection was TTH but we'd be lying if we said there weren't a few MA pieces in our wardrobes. posted:1.28.10 filed under: Jonas Brothers pioneer "dressy casual"Q: Is "dressy casual" a girlie thing? I'm having a film premiere and want to put something on the invitation to indicate some level of expectation for the guests. It's not a formal event, but I don't want people showing up in work jeans and Uggs.
--Sam
A: Sam, you're not going to like our answer but we're strongly opposed to any invitation with sartorial guidelines that don't include both the words "black" and "tie," especially something as oxymoronic as "dressy casual." (To our ear, "dressy casual" is a dangerous invitation to popped collars and banana-colored capri pants -- not to mention coral sneakers and mom's leggings -- and should be avoided at all costs.)
MBs don't concern themselves with what their guests wear, rather, important things within their control, like whether or not they ordered enough booze. We'll be looking for our invite, and we like Dewar's. posted:1.27.10 filed under: Q: I'm definitely on board with tucking in your sport shirts (I don't like Bravo, either). But I've been wearing sport shirts under sweaters a lot recently, and was wondering about the protocol on the sport shirt underneath. Tucked or not?
--Christopher
A: First of all, we love Bravo, just not the guys who give the dudes on Jersey Shore a run for their toolbaggery.
Second, the tuck rule still applies for shirts underneath a sweater. I.e., if your shirt is designed to be untucked, go for it; if it's designed to be tucked, tuck it. This way you'll achieve the desired artfully disheveled shirt-barely-peeking-out look as demonstrated here by Joseph Gordon-Levitt in (500) Days of Summer.
Ed. note: (500) Days of Summer is the best romantic comedy we've seen since Annie Hall. OK, maybe it's the only romantic comedy we've seen since Annie Hall. Anyhow, the only thing better than the flick (just by a whisker) is the soundtrack that includes tunes from The Smiths, Hall and Oates, and Spectacular Bitch par excellence Carla Bruni. posted:1.26.10 filed under:Q: What's the difference between artful dishevelment and not trying? I can't seem to get the technique down, because I either end up looking like a slob or I'm trying too hard. Please enlighten me, MB.
--Mike
A: Mike, for questions like these, Nick Nolte usually has the answers.
Top: Artful dishevelment.
Bottom: Not trying. posted:1.26.10 filed under:We knew you'd come through in the clutch, Brent.
Love,
Packer Nation posted:1.25.10 filed under: If you want to play 18 holes at Kastle Park Go-Karts and Mini-Golf (in Green Bay, WI, real close to our office), a putter alone will suffice. If you aspire to Pebble Beach, you need a few more clubs in your arsenal. So it is with alcohol. Any man who aims to spend at least 25% of his ample leisure time with a drink in hand needs a full set of tools. To ensure that you've got everything you need, we've enlisted the help of the Magnificent Bastard Cocktail Contest sponsor KegWorks to help Magnificent Bastardize your bar.
| Item |
Ordinary Bar |
MB Bar |
Why |
| Cocktail Shaker |
Standard 3-piece Metal Shaker
 |
25.5 oz. Glass Shaker
 |
Indigenous to liquor bottle gift sets and department store "entertaining" aisles, the average metal shaker is prone to becoming a hard-to-open frustration. There are also immutable laws of physics at work that call for glass shakers. |
| Citrus Juice Extractor |
Hand Squeezer
 |
Heavy-Duty Juicer
 |
Hand squeezers require excessive effort and you may end up with pulp and/or seeds in your drink. With the pull of a lever, the chromed-out zinc alloy juicer gives you fresh citrus juice without the "extras." |
| Cutlery for Garnishes |
Paring Knife
 |
Channel Knife - Peeler and Zester
 |
Sure, paring knives will cut things - then again, so will rusty box cutters.
If you're serious about preparing cocktails the right way, you'll invest in a zester specifically designed to peel citrus. When cut with the right tool your lemons, limes and oranges will release fresh oils and ideal flavor into your drink. |
| Measuring Tool |
Shot Glasses
 |
Jiggers
 |
Consistent drinks call for consistent measurements. Shot glasses are usually an ounce but for any other measurement, you'll be eyeballing it. Jiggers have precisely measured cones on either end to make sure you always get it right. |
| Stirring Utensil |
Plastic Stir Sticks
 |
Stainless Steel Bar Spoon
 |
Go ahead, try to layer shots, stir a large tumbler or fish cocktail onions out of the jar with a plastic stir stick. |
Now put some of these tools to work and create an entry for the Magnificent Bastard Cocktail Contest. Only 9 days left! Winner to receive a $500 shopping spree at KegWorks.
posted:1.22.10 filed under: Q: I'm not sure whether this is an "Ask the MB," a "Tip the MB," or just a general MB PSA, but: Can we all agree that wearing anything fleece -- ESPECIALLY a zip-up mock turtleneck -- under your suit or blazer rather than a coat *over* it is a one-way ticket to Toolbagville? It pains me to say that I have seen this with increasing frequency here in NYC (though mainly in the Midtown business-douche districts), and I can only conclude that these guys have finally discovered what exactly NOBODY ever wanted to find: the male equivalent of wearing sneakers with a skirt or pantsuit for the walk in to work. Please, for the love of God, people: Get a proper winter coat. Stop the madness.
--Chris
A: This is a look we'd expect to see in Pulaski, WI, not the Big Apple (though it would be fleece under a Carhartt jacket instead of a suit jacket). We're opposed to fleece because it violates the principal of organic materials (it's made from something called Polyethylene terephthalate), and we avoid wearing anything that sounds like it might give us cancer. posted:1.21.10 filed under:Q: A few years ago I bought a tuxedo shirt for my wedding, with the plan of wearing it as a casual "going out" shirt after our nuptials . After 4 years, I've yet to put it in play. I seemed to remember a time when wearing said shirt was alright to do with a pair of jeans. Was I dreaming? Is this something Ii should only wear if I renew my vows.....or get remarried?
--Brian
A: This is not the easiest thing to execute, but definitely doable. However, Brian, in your case, the fact that the shirt has hung in your closet for four years is definitely telling you something: Listen! Either: a.) Do as you suggest and wait until your next marriage. The seven year itch is only three short years away. Or b.) Donate it to either your wife or mistress. Women can look great in them. posted:1.20.10 filed under:I wanted to update you on my efforts to knit the perfect scarf. You were kind enough to obtain the dimensions of the SOH Cashmere Scarf so that I could knit it for my dear son. I found the ideal cashmere yarn and have just finished the last stitch of scarf. My son will be celebrating his 25th birthday on Saturday and this will be a truly fitting gift to commemorate his quarter-century mark.
With sincere thanks, Bonnie
A: That truly warms our hearts, Bonnie. Now, if you enter our MB Cocktail Contest and submit an entry that your son will be proud to order in any bar in America, you will truly be en route to winning Mom of the Year! posted:1.19.10 filed under:Q: While I feel confident that I have successfully managed the unfavorable hand of genetic hair-loss with a close cut; and despite a having solid hat collection, every winter I pine for the many benefits of a full head of hair. With that in mind, what's the MB stance on seeking hair-replacement treatments?
--Joe
A: Joe, don't cut it too close (see an earlier post on the matter). It's easy for us to sit here with hair up the wazoo and tell you to work with what the good Lord gave ya, but that's exactly what we're going to do. Hair replacement/transplants run into the many thousands of dollars and they're a crap shoot. For that kind of bread you can upgrade your hat collection with this ultra-toasty shaved beaver model (now on sale for $290) and have wads of cash left over for penis enlargement pills. posted:1.19.10 filed under:The 3rd season of Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker starts tonight, and host Patti Stanger has a whole new look, clearly based on the MB makeover advice given last year. Gone are the bangs, the painted fingernails (nude is OK), and the too-short skirts. You're welcome, hon! (Now for an MB intervention with her fiance. A heart-shaped diamond ring screams TB.) posted:1.19.10 filed under: Q: I see I am not the only one to take interest in your header. While the lovely lady was also what I noticed first, I had another thought: what are the best breeds of dog for a MB?
--Jon
A: Like many other things, Anglophilia is at the heart of the answer, as is Paul Fussell's must-read 1983 classic Class. While MB-dom and class is not a 1:1 correlation we think his observations on dogs are quite astute:
They are classier the more they allude to nonutilitarian hunting, and thus to England. The top dogs consequently are Labradors, golden retrievers, corgis, King Charles spaniels, and Afghan hounds. To be upper-class you should have a lot of them, and they should be named after the costliest liquors, like Brandy and Whiskey. The middle class goes in for Scotties and Irish setters, often giving them Scottish or Irish names, although it reserves "Sean" (sometimes spelled "Shawn" to make sure everyone gets it) for its own human issue. Proles, for their part, like breeds that can be conceived to furnish "protection": Doberman pinschers, German shepherds, or pit bulls. Or breeds useful in utilitarian outdoor pursuits, like beagles. The thinness of dogs is often a sign of their social class. "Upper-class dogs." says Jilly Cooper, "have only one meal a day and are therefore quite thin, like their owners." posted:1.18.10 filed under:Q: In the header photo, what's in the cocktail glass the MB is holding, and how many did the lady by the loading dock have?
--Jeff
A: The MB is drinking Dewar's neat. There was no ice available on the set, but we consume it this way often anyhow. In fact, if we were stranded on a desert island (or maybe an island off the coast of Scotland) with a single spirit, it would be Dewar's, not just for its flavor, but for its versatility.
The woman in the pic came to the shoot straight (as far as we know) though a belt or two wouldn't have hurt for the header photos you are about to see.
Ed. note: If you are a woman reading this and have an interest in appearing in an upcoming MB.com header photo, drop us a line. posted:1.15.10 filed under: via J. Crew. $55.00.Q: Is gingham acceptable outside of spring/summer? If not, is there an equally awesome winter-based pattern?
--Foreign Dignitary
A: This answer is definitely not by the book, but we endorse all manner of gingham year-round, partly because it is so awesome. It takes a certain attitude and confidence to pull it off, but the rewards are great. If the idea of wearing a large-check purple gingham shirt in the middle of January -- even under a cashmere sweater -- sounds a bit too adventurous, you can take a safer path and seasonalize it by choosing black and navy and brown for fall/winter (J.Crew is showing some cool washed options), and save the pink and red and yellow versions until you see the first robin (that usually happens in early April here in Wisconsin). posted:1.14.10 filed under: And now it's time for another excerpt from David A. Embury's canonic 1948 cocktail book "The Fine Art of Mixing Drinks." Buying the right shaker can make all the difference between a good drink and a great one. Keep that in mind as you stir (or shake) up a recipe for entry into the Magnificent Bastard Cocktail Contest. Deadline for entry is just 17 days away.
Good cocktail shakers can be obtained in all manner of sizes, shapes, and materials. Since metal is a better conductor of heat than glass and, therefore, the ice in a metal shaker will melt and dilute the drinks quicker than in a glass shaker, I recommend glass shakers, but with tight-fitting metal tops. The opening of the glass shaker should be large enough to take large ice cubes with ease; the opening of the metal top from which the drink is poured should be small and the construction should should be such that there will be no leakage between the shaker and the top and no drip from the top after pouring. Be sure the top is tight enough not to fly off either in shaking or in pouring, but as an extra precaution always hold one hand on the shaker and one on the top during both operations.
Chill the shaker well before using, either by leaving it in the refrigerator for a half-hour or by partially filling it with cracked ice. This ice should be discarded before mixing the cocktail. The heavier the glass in your shaker, the longer it will take to chill it, but the longer the drinks in it will stay cold and undiluted.
Winner to receive a $500 shopping spree at KegWorks. (They've put together a " help page" as well.) Entry deadline is fast approaching. When you're ready, submit your entry here.
posted:1.14.10 filed under: A Yves Saint Laurent versionQ: I am looking at having my first custom suit made. Considering that this will be my ONLY suit, what qualities should I look for in colour, fabric & design? I'll be wearing it to weddings, job interviews, etc.
--Sean
A: For the man who only needs or wants or can afford a single suit, this is the suit to own:
Color and Fabric: Charcoal gray, in a four season wool from a top-notch textile maker like Loro Piana.
Jacket: Moderate width notch lapel. Two buttons. Top welt and front flap welt pockets. Given your Queen's English spelling of "colour," go with double back vents. (Yanks can go single vent.) Functional four-button cuffs. Light/non-existent shoulder padding.
Pants: Flat front, straight leg cut. Tab waist with zip closure. On seam front pockets, back welt pockets. No cuff.
This is a suit for a decade, at least. Let us know how it turns out. posted:1.13.10 filed under:
|
|
