Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.
Relax, big spender, we want your knowledge, not your credit card info. If you know about something you think we should know about, let us know (so we can then pretend that we knew about it all along.) Send a tip.
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 Commonwealth Proper 'Almy' Shirtvia Commonwealth Proper. $150.00.Q: I'm a 6' 3" fellow with long arms and a long torso. I've been looking around for some casual button downs to wear untucked but all of the ones that I've found, the sleeves have been at least an inch too short. I wear slim-fit shirts and, short of ordering custom tailored and rolling up every button down shirt I own, where would you suggest I purchase shirts that are both casual and not too expensive?
--Jacob
A: Jacob, we're in the same boat and know exactly what you mean. Why don't shirtmakers make off-the-rack garments for tall, sinewy lads like us? It's discriminatory!
If you can't be bothered going the custom shirt route (see our feature on custom shirts), we've found a shirtmaker that meets your needs, with the possible exception of price: Philadelphia-based Commonwealth Proper makes just 20 copies of each shirt (in the USA) and releases a few new versions each month. Their large will fit you like a glove, but don't just take our word for it. You can find out for yourself with a free home try-on by emailing your address to try@commonwealthproper.com.  posted:9.3.10 filed under:  via gilt.com. $188.00.From the Antonio Maurizi web site:
"Love for what has been, obsession of quality 'musts,' osmosis, through an obstinate adherence to craftmanship skills and to the details the latter guarantee, amid the 'dream' and the 'sense' of the product; its implicit, discreet, invisible and yet perfectly clear meaning; a network of senses, a cultural continuity between the 'footwear' garment and its user, a genetic code shared by footwear and accessories, discrete audacity, simple imagination, laissez-faire rigour. Our work takes its inspiration from all of this: this is the quality of life in which we believe."
We believe we've never heard a bigger load of bullshit. But we also believe Antonio Maurizi is onto something with this sneaker and boot mashup. Originally $490, they're just $188 at Gilt and there are a bunch of sizes and three different colors available. (If you need an invite to Gilt, just let us know.) posted:9.3.10 filed under: via indochino.com. $369.00.Q: What are your thoughts on Indochino? They have some pretty inexpensive suits, but they look rather, well, cheap. MB or not worth my time?
--Bryce
A: We want to do a custom suit feature this fall, and hope Indochino participates so we can answer your question in great detail. Their suits range in price from $329 to $449. For that price you cannot expect Kiton. (If any readers are in the custom suit-making business, drop us a line if you're interested in participating in the feature.) posted:9.3.10 filed under:Q: What color socks should I wear with my white TST sneakers and dark-blue AG jeans? What's the underlying principle here?
--John
A: John, you've got superb taste.
Where we're from, white sneakers are on about the same wearing calendar as white pants -- Pulaski road slush really does a number on them -- which means the weather almost always calls for exposed ankles with this shoe-pant combo. But don't spare the socks. Even encased in stylish Japanese sneakers, feet without socks stink worse than Van Halen without David Lee Roth.
We've worn these for years and therefore highly recommend Banana Republic no-show loafer socks. They're now discounted so if you buy 3 or more pair they're just $5.43 each. (Choose white for this use, of course.) Another option (that we haven't tried) is young entrepreneur Philip Bunting's Mocc Sock & Co.'s version (pictured), which also come in gray and are only slightly more expensive than BR. posted:9.1.10 filed under:Looks like your worst fears have been realized - Croc and Jack Purcell had a baby: http://www.nativeshoes.com/
--Brad J.
In the animal kingdom, this would be the equivalent of a gazelle getting knocked up by Barney. posted:9.1.10 filed under:Toolbag icon Roger Clemens has previously been on these pages for his banded collar shirt and double-breasted suit, but he really brought the heat yesterday thanks to HTH (Human Toolbag Hormone) and an obvious midlife crisis: frosted hair, sort-of goatee, and reflector blades. Thanks, Rocket. We look forward to the trial in April, 2011. posted:8.31.10 filed under:Following the lead of the Commander-in-chief, Vice President Joe Biden arrived in Iraq yesterday with what we believe to be the highest-rise jeans west (but for the moment, east) of the Euphrates. The denim, combined with that blazer, the Tiger Woods belt, and the tassle loafers is setting the worthy causes of aviator sunglasses and exposed ankles back 20 years. posted:8.31.10 filed under:Magnificent Bastard sponsor Betabrand/Cordarounds launched their "7 Deadly Sins" line with the Gluttony Pant, believed to be the first pair of pants to ship with a large cloth napkin.
For Envy, they're auctioning off a 3,000 year-old pair of pants once owned by libertine pharaoh Smutankhamun, better known as King Smut. With gold disco-ball exterior and lined with a pornoglyphic print, we agree: the winner will surely be the slobbering envy of every trouser-wearing man on the planet.
Current bid stands at $430. Auction ends today at 2PM CT.
Up next: Wrath. Or Lust. posted:8.27.10 filed under: Roll Tide. Yes.Q: What does an MB wear to an early September (over 100 degrees) afternoon football game at the alma mater?
--Claxton
A: Even in cooler Big Ten climes, afternoon September football games against the likes of Austin Peay are best enjoyed at a bar near the stadium, rather than squeezed in with 80,000 sticky, sweaty Badger fans.
If the ticket's already purchased, follow our advice already given to Los Angeles Lakers fans: look like a fan without really trying. This means shorts, shoes/sandals, and a t-shirt/SS you'd feel comfortable wearing to a non-gameday BBQ, with only a subtle hint of your team loyalties. In other words, somewhere in between the plastic flip-flop, team jersey, backward ballcap-wearing undergraduate throngs, and the legible grey-haired alum with the world's worst sunburn. posted:8.24.10 filed under:Q: This is a question for Spectacular Bitch, but since she's making us wait, like, forever ... I'd like your opinion on what to wear to Lambeau on Thursday night. I'll be in a suite with business partners so a cheese bra is out of the question. Please advise.
--Kelly
A: In lieu of the cheese bra (save that for November 7th against Dallas, when we'll be there) here's an effortless, SB-appropriate outfit for a cool August night:
* TOP: Splendid Whisper Draped Top
. With come-hither look. $55 via shopbop.com.
* BOTTOM: Your favorite pair of designer denim. We like AG if you've got it, Hudson if it's going a little south.
* FOOTWEAR: Sandals, with toes in buff or nude.
* WINNING SB ACCESSORY: Super long and slimming and green Chan Luu crinkle fringe scarf. $95 via saksfifthavenue.com.
Go, Pack, Go! posted:8.24.10 filed under:Vacationing on Martha's Vineyard, we get another look at Obama's casual wardrobe, and it has not improved much since the infamous first pitch.
Left: JFK with classic American Optical Saratogas, in slim-fit pique polo with sleeves hitting at bicep.
Right: Obama with Maui-Jimmyish Ray-Ban 3217s, in Hefty bag-fit Coolmax polo with sleeves hitting at elbow. posted:8.23.10 filed under:A reminder to readers that it's the last day to enter the J. Fold "Trooper" Bag giveaway. Just follow @magbas to enter. On Monday we'll give twitRand(); a whirl to pick the winner. Direct message to that lucky contestant: you're gonna love this bag.
Also, before we're back on the air on Monday, the auction will have ended for a Season 5 Mad Men walk-on role, where the bid currently stands at $16,300. If that's a little rich, this blue Betty Draper dress is bid at $1,805. (FYI, January Jones is a size 2.) posted:8.20.10 filed under:Federal prosecutors were only able to convict former Illinois governer and First Toolbag Rod Blagojevich of a single count of lying to the FBI, but more significantly, they did unearth receipts showing a 7-year, $400,000 clothing budget for he and his wife at stores like Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus. (If this is ringing a bell somewhere, it definitely should.)
Blago also spent heavily at custom suitmaker Tom James Company and had custom dress shirts made by Geneva Custom Shirts. Yet, in spite of all the expense and bespoke tailoring, he failed to grasp even the most basic style truth: don't combine spread collars with four-in-hand knots.
SEE ALSO: Magnificent Bastard's Custom Shirt Reviews. (Unfortunately Geneva Custom Shirts was not one of the participants. posted:8.19.10 filed under:When we did our 10 Sneakers for S/S 2010 feature this spring, we had no idea we'd end up discovering our all-time favorite sneaker: TST. Hand-sketched by Japanese designer Seishi Tanaka, then hand-detailed in construction, these are an obscure, more stylish alternative to Chuck, Stan, Jack, and Rod. The human element -- along with the unique and super-comfortable three-piece sole construction -- gives these shoes an organic feel and degree of wabi-sabi, which is essentially Japanese for artful dishevelment.
You can buy them online at YOOX and Six Whiting Street. They fit slightly small to size, so add one.
posted:8.18.10 filed under: Q: Let's talk about Bastardic pockets/pocket gear. Am I correct in the belief that inside an MB's pockets there should only be a minimalistic non-George Costanza wallet, a maximum of 2 keys with no obtrusive keyring and a cellphone? Keys and wallet on the left, phone on the right and party in the middle. Oh, and a mini Altoids tin in the coin pocket of your jeans, as this eliminates that offensive sound of announcing your arrival by walking. I have this Dopp wallet which I think is MB...your thoughts?
--Robert
A: We've previously endorsed minimal, non-George Costanza wallets. Specifically, the MAKR CARRY GOODS "One" ($60) made from free-range cattle each given a loving pat on the head before being shipped to slaughter, and Malcolm Fontier's polyurethane "Mojito" ($29) for more highly evolved types.
While Dopp certainly has a pedigree -- German immigrant Charles Doppelt invented the toiletry case in 1919 -- a magnet seems like an especially bad materials choice for a money clip. Besides potentially demagnetizing something like a room key, the clip's effectivness diminishes in proportion to the more cash an MB is carrying. posted:8.17.10 filed under: via shopbop.com. $121.00.Q: For an Irish-themed wedding, is it all right to wear a black mini dress? Or is a floral longer dress more appropriate?
--Alexandra
A: Hon, this is a question best left to Spectacular Bitch, but as SBs are wont to do, they're making us wait.
Anyhow, the answer is "neither." Even if the longer dress was made with printed shamrocks, flowers are best when used in combination with vases. And while we strongly endorse black mini dresses, they're for the club, not a wedding. Instead, wear something that hits right around the knee, like this silk "Lorelei" dress (but go ahead and get the mini dress too). posted:8.16.10 filed under:Q: What are your thoughts on tie clips? I've noticed some articles on ties and suits and thought maybe I skimmed over something on tie clips. I have a wedding coming up and will be sporting a 2 button, single vented, dark grey, slim fitting suit with white/charcoal edged cotton pocket square, purple checked shirt and a solid lavender tie. Will a well placed silver tie clip make the outfit complete?
--Mike (MB in training)
A: Mike, are you angling for a cameo on The Sartorialist?
Besides strongly recommending a plain white pocket square, we'd pass on the tie clip. Like fused collars, collar stays, creased pants, starch, and excessive hair gelling, tie clips contribute to a too neat, too calculated, too TTH look. We call for freedom for ties! To dangle asymmetrically, to catch a little gust of wind, to do their part contributing to the aesthetic goal of artful dishevelment. posted:8.12.10 filed under:Q: When you finally get the Toolbag Fantasy League section of this site up and running, I call dibs on The Food Network's Guy Fieri. He is clearly the anchor for a championship caliber squad. I happened to flip past him on television last night and the guy is not missing a single facet of toolbagism. I of course am operating under the assumption that he had a cell phone belt holster hiding underneath his size XXL bowling style shirt with flames printed on it. Watch out fellow Fantasy Toolbag Leaguers, I plan on hoisting the silverware at the end of the season.
--Steven
A: Timely question/comment Steven, since the New York Times has a feature on the classic toolbag archetype in today's paper that begins with him opening a performance at Circus Maximus at Caesars Atlantic City to "Sweet Home Alabama." posted:8.11.10 filed under:Things are especially dire in Italy, where they don't even have enough clothing to cover their models.
Pictured: women modeling Benetton's Fall/Winter 2010 line (big PDF). posted:8.11.10 filed under:I love Paul Smith clothes, but WTF?
--Chris
It would seem the Englishman's well-known sense of whimsy has taken a turn towards parody, specifically of the infamous Three Wolf Moon Tee (bottom, $13.95). And at $145 it's obvious the chap has good sense of humor, too. posted:8.10.10 filed under: Oscar AlemánOne of our most popular features (besides the Top 10 Ways to Look Like a Total Toolbag, of course) was this spring's review of seven different custom shirtmakers, and there are a couple of updates to help inform your purchase decision.
Chicago-based Deo Veritas, the place that made our favorite and also most versatile shirt, has simplified their shirt designer tool (our biggest beef with DV), and added some higher-end Thomas Mason fabrics ($138) and a few entry-level Japanese fabrics ($69) for those wanting to dip their toe into custom shirts. Even for toe-dippers, we strongly recommend spending $9 for the sewn-collar upgrade.
Manhattan-based Biased Cut, which made the best fitting shirt, has released a measuring "how-to" video set to a Django Reinhardt contemporary Oscar Alemán's Tango. Follow the instructions -- preferably with the help of a cute tailor -- and you will get a well-fitting shirt. posted:8.10.10 filed under: Earlier this year we searched high and low for the fine-looking J. Fold Weekend Bag, but they were so hard to find we dubbed it the Lost J. Fold Weekend Bag. The explanation from the folks at J. Fold was they retired the bag because it usually weighed more than its contents, and convinced us to give the "Trooper" a try instead. Their new weekend model is made from leather and (lighter) coated cotton canvas, with a design based on standard-issue Soviet military bags from the '60s and '70s. While it's certainly not as masculine or elegant as, say, the standard-issue Soviet assault rifle, it's built as solidly as one, and has quickly become our favorite 48-hour road/plane-trip bag.
Why are we telling you all this? Because we've gotten our hands on another J. Fold Trooper Bag and we'd like one comrade to share our experience. No drink recipe or poem required to win this time. All you have to do to enter is follow MB on something called Twitter. Entry deadline is Friday, August 20 and we'll randomly pick a winner on Monday, August 23. (Sorry world, ya gotta live in the United States to claim this prize.)
Bag retail price: $219.00
Big bag pictures:
Side
Interior
Top posted:8.9.10 filed under: via Toy Watch. $225.00.What's your take on Toy Watch? I'm feeling quite tempted to buy myself one but there's a little voice of doubt inside myself telling me to stay away...
--CD
A: Listen to that little voice, CD, because it's noticed that Toy Watch -- which look like a Rolex humped a Swatch -- was once sold at Barney's and Bergdorf Goodman, and is now available at Sears. These were watches of the moment, and that moment happened three years ago.
For just a few bucks more, buy a mechanical watch (i.e., not quartz) based on a design worn by British airmen doing battle against Hermann Göring's Luftwaffe, rather than a timepiece recommended by Ellen DeGeneres and, far more damagingly, featured on Oprah's Favorite Things. posted:8.6.10 filed under: via Milk Shop. $29.00. via Ruby Lane. $175.00.Q: I recently upgraded the desk in my den to a nice hardwood number and realized something while pouring myself a congratulatory drink - I need coasters. A lot has been said about what to drink and when, but what do you put them on? Stone? Wood? Plain glass-sized napkins?
--Adam
A: Adam, the principle of organic materials extends beyond your wardrobe to your home, too, and that definitely includes your choice in coasters. Stone surely qualifies, as does wood, but wood on wood is too matchy-matchy; and cloth napkins, while requiring laundering (and folding), are a tad too tea party.
No, this is your den, your man cave. It's the place where you pay the bills, watch sports, and gaze up at shelves filled with books you haven't read. You need a coaster worthy of your exclusive one-man club, so go for something vintage, hopefully with a few dings, and clearly one of a kind, like this sterling silver version by S. Kirk & Son, a Baltimore silversmith that dates its beginning to 1815. posted:8.4.10 filed under:Q: My husband and I are visiting NYC this summer and have reservations at an upscale restaurant that requires jackets for men. What jackets/blazers do you recommend that can be worn with non-jeans without looking like a total toolbag?
--Melissa
A: A jacket requirement at a time when the record-breaking NYC heat is forcing at least one Prospect Park woman to cook dinner in her underwear is reason to instead consider, say, holing up in your air-conditioned hotel room and ordering room service.
If you do decide to venture out, we hear what you're saying about matching blazers with non-denim. While nearly 100% of blazers go with blue jeans, the success rate with trousers is no better than 10%. Unless they're white. White pants are nearly denim's blazer-matching equivalent, so rather than go shopping for a new blazer, find him a great pair of white pants (and they're all on sale now). posted:8.2.10 filed under:For Fall 2010. Yet not quite right. Above the elbow is correct, but these rolls are too precisely turned and considered. In an acronym, TTH. posted:8.2.10 filed under: TOP: Symbionese Liberation Army leader Donald David DeFreeze
BOTTOM: Spiewak Vintage NYPD Jacket, Autumn/Winter 2010Typically it's the criminals from the 1970s who are remembered for their style (top). But what about the other side of the law? No, we're not talking about that sloppy undercover hippie, Serpico. We mean the men in uniform. Sure, corruption, urban blight, and a host of other ills turned the Big Apple into a mugger's paradise in those days. But when the thin blue line got so damn thin it looked like a Photoshop ruler guide, there was one thing keeping the world's greatest city from turning into utter chaos, and it wasn't Charles Bronson's Fu Manchu. It was the sleek, no-nonsense style of the NYPD's wool jackets.
Spiewak made them then, and now Spiewak's bringing them back -- this time for civilians. So put away your buffalo plaid and get into some real workwear -- this 26 ounce wool melton jacket with corozo dome buttons, a badge tab, and four front pockets. (That's two for your ammo and two for your bribes.) Sorry Paul Bunyan, but there's nothing more authentically American than a 1970s cop shaking down a bookie on a freezing winter morning in the Bronx. posted:7.29.10 filed under: via ginchgonch.com. $39.00.Q: Considering Ginch Gonch. How much fun can underwear be?
--Eric
A: We don't remember wearing underwear this brightly colored (or legible) since 1st grade, when we didn't have much say in the matter. With names like "Thick n' Meaty," "London Ballin'," "Mighty Muscle," and "Tiger's Wood," we get the strong sense the GG marketing department may be overcompensating for something. However, we'd definitely consider the bacon sleep pants because everyone knows that everything -- including sleep pants -- is better with bacon.
SEE ALSO: The Magnificent Bastard Underwear Guide with exclusive testicle constriction rating. posted:7.26.10 filed under:
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