Magnificent Bastard

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Ask the MB: You're Selling Skinny Ties!

Ask the MB: You're Selling Skinny Ties!

Q: Before you went Eat, Pray, Love you used to rail against the skinny tie. Like RAIL against it. Now you've come back and opened a store that sells only skinny ties. Do you find this at all ironic?
—Andrew

A: Your note made us smile gently. Yes, partially because we've been project-vomiting gratitude out of our heart-holes ever since we returned from our extended Eat, Pray, Love sabbatical. But also because we took your conclusions about our store as strong evidence that you've been drinking Magnificent Bastards in unrestrained fashion.

We suppose if you strapped our Adam Smith cashmere belts around your neck (pictured in Chocolate Sandwich Cookie), they might qualify as skinny ties. We don't advise that.

Meanwhile, Joseph Kandell, Dan Feinbaum, and Steve Price used to be skinny ties. But they're no more skinny ties now than Mike Ditka's a football coach or Jon Gosselin's a TV star. They've moved on and have entirely new jobs. Like millions of folks in a rapidly shifting economy, they've made a strategic career pivot, acquired new skills and new training, updated their LinkedIn profiles, and now make their living as belts.

Finally, there are our actual ties. All of them are exactly 3 1/8 inches wide at their widest point. Perfect now, perfect forever. Only a Jezebel columnist determined to shift body size norms would think to call that skinny. Or possibly someone who has just enjoyed a half dozen or so MBs.

Also: We still don't like skinny ties. But we thought of a compassionate way to eradicate them from America. Stay tuned for more on this soon.


POURCAST

BETA

Rob Roy

  • 2 oz scotch
  • 1 oz sweet vermouth
  • dash of bitters (your choice, your mood)

Fill rocks glass with ice. Pour in scotch, vermouth, bitters. Stir. Garnish, if you must, with a lemon twist.


×

Currently in
Minneapolis, Minnesota

24° Overcast

Rob Roy

Enter any city on earth & start cocktailing. (Zip codes work, too.)

Feedback? editor@magnificentbastard.com





recent posts

@magbas


ask mb

Got a style question? We're all ears. And antlers. Ask away.


tip mb

If you know about something you think we should know about, let us know (so we can pretend we knew about it all along). Send a tip.


features


channels