Magnificent Bastard

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

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Ask the SB: Tattoos

Jenny Shimizu, Spectacular Bitch
Jenny Shimizu, Spectacular Bitch
Q: I recently started seeing a 22 year old woman who wants to get an ankle tattoo. She's typically very well-dressed and immaculately styled so this took me by surprise. I've never been a fan of tattoos in general, actually I think women are sexier without them, but she insists. Is it possible for a woman to have any sort of body art and still be considered a Spectacular Bitch?
—James


A: Dearest James,

It is indeed possible for an SB to have tattoos, but I'm not so sure about your little friend. To my mind, 1992 was the tipping point for tattoos — they went from being something that could be construed as rebellious and outré to ultimately being played-out and frankly, lame. This explains why you might find scores of over-40 Spectacular Bitches sporting body art that can be chalked up to youthful indiscretion, a naughty streak, tequila or a combination thereof. These days, however, getting inked is about as original as getting your hair braided into cornrows on spring break, only with more time for regrets.

Of course, every rule has its exceptions. Some women, no matter what age, can simply pull it off. But it requires a fuck you attitude and the commitment of some serious real estate. Sadly, a meek little ankle tattoo reads more sorority than spectacular. I say skip it.

Bisoux,

SB

POURCAST

BETA

Old Fashioned

  • 1 raw sugar cube
  • 2 dashes Angostura bitters
  • 3 oz bourbon

On bottom of Old Fashioned glass (what else?) dribble bitters on sugar cube. Muddle. Fill with ice, then with bourbon. Garnish with lemon twist. No, not a thick orange wedge, handful of cherries, or a cup of fruit salad. A simple lemon wedge.


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