Ask the SB: Tattoos

October 5, 2011

Q: I recently started seeing a 22 year old woman who wants to get an ankle tattoo. She's typically very well-dressed and immaculately styled so this took me by surprise. I've never been a fan of tattoos in general, actually I think women are sexier without them, but she insists. Is it possible for a woman to have any sort of body art and still be considered a Spectacular Bitch?
—James

A: Dearest James,

It is indeed possible for an SB to have tattoos, but I'm not so sure about your little friend. To my mind, 1992 was the tipping point for tattoos — they went from being something that could be construed as rebellious and outré to ultimately being played-out and frankly, lame. This explains why you might find scores of over-40 Spectacular Bitches sporting body art that can be chalked up to youthful indiscretion, a naughty streak, tequila or a combination thereof. These days, however, getting inked is about as original as getting your hair braided into cornrows on spring break, only with more time for regrets.

Of course, every rule has its exceptions. Some women, no matter what age, can simply pull it off. But it requires a fuck you attitude and the commitment of some serious real estate. Sadly, a meek little ankle tattoo reads more sorority than spectacular. I say skip it.

Bisoux,

SB