Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.
If you know about something you think we should know about, let us know (so we can then pretend that we knew about it all along.) Send a tip.
Where else on the World Wide Web are you going to get two posts about Guido the Killer Pimp in a 2-week span? Only at magnificentbastard.com. (See earlier one.)
Let's have a look at what's wrong with GtKP (Joe Pantoliano) at the red carpet premiere of Flawless starring Demi Moore and Michael Caine:
1. Beret. Violation of the principle of Anglophilia. Francophilia way less cool.
2. Multiple necklaces. Violation of principle of minimal accessorization.
3. Tucked-in sweater. Never do this.
4. Skull belt buckle. Skulls beyond outgoing.
5. Cane. OK if used for actual physical ailment; never OK for affect. Doesn't really work with skull belt buckle.
6. Multiple rings. (See multiple necklaces.)