Magnificent Bastard

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Monday Morning Quarterback Week 16

Monday Morning Quarterback Week 16

It's Week 4 of Monday Morning Quarterback, a feature that combines our love of chronic traumatic encephalopathy-inducing bloodsport (aka, the NFL) with our passion for style.

Each week we break down the postgame press conference film and pick the best and worst-performing quarterbacks from around the league. We take their actual Passer Rating, multiply it by the proprietary Magnificent Bastard Dresser Rating, to arrive at their Total Magnificent Bastard Quarterback Rating.

Geno Smith

Passer Rating: 91.7

Dresser Rating: 87.3

Total Magnificent Bastard Quarterback Rating: 80.1

Last week, a rookie overaccessorization mistake. This week, Smith shows veterans the right way to go casual and make it work, and is the MB Player of the Week.

Tony Romo

PR: 98.7

DR: 41.1

TMBQBR: 40.6

Once again Romo had a costly pick, but saved it for the postgame presser. MB tip: only go deep into the ear canal when there's blown TV coverage. As for the dresser rating, the non-throwing arm at this angle should expose a wide-open shirt cuff.

Kellen Clemens

PR: 99.6

DR: 29.3

TMBQBR: 29.2

When you're 6'2" and 220 lbs., it's not easy finding a shirt that looks at least two sizes too big for you. We encourage the Rams QB to stop shopping JC Penney's Husky Linemen section and get into something a little more fitted.

Matt Flynn

PR: 69.6

DR: 23.6

TMBQBR: 16.4

With his red union suit and sad, shell-shocked gaze, back-up Matt Flynn looks like a nine-year-old on Christmas morning slowly coming to grips with the fact that he's going to go at least one more year without a BB gun.

Matt Cassell

PR: 32.6

DR: 36.8

TMBQBR: 12.0

As the week's lowest-rated passer, we applaud Cassell's instinct to look inconspicuous. However, we think his Week 14 beanie, pulled completely over his face, 7-Eleven robbery style, would have been more effective than his baseball cap disguise.

Andrew Luck

PR: 96.8

DR: 0.0

TMBQBR: 0.0

We suppose if your last name is Luck, it's inevitable that you develop superstitions, and after a month of MMQB, it's clear what Luck's post-game ritual is: Skip the showers; hit the presser wearing lucky performance T; make a face like the Geico caveman. It's not the strangest superstition we've ever heard of, but it's certainly a contender for the least stylish.

Earlier: Andrew Luck Looks Like Geico Caveman, Only Worse-Dressed


POURCAST

BETA

Rob Roy

  • 2 oz scotch
  • 1 oz sweet vermouth
  • dash of bitters (your choice, your mood)

Fill rocks glass with ice. Pour in scotch, vermouth, bitters. Stir. Garnish, if you must, with a lemon twist.


×

Currently in
Minneapolis, Minnesota

22° Light snow

Rob Roy

Enter any city on earth & start cocktailing. (Zip codes work, too.)

Feedback? editor@magnificentbastard.com





recent posts

@magbas


ask mb

Got a style question? We're all ears. And antlers. Ask away.


tip mb

If you know about something you think we should know about, let us know (so we can pretend we knew about it all along). Send a tip.


features


channels