Magnificent Bastard

Saturday, May 18, 2024



Decoding Julian Assange's Hair

Decoding Julian Assange's Hair

Sweden wants to lock up WikiLeaks muckraker Julian Assange for blowing his whistle without a condom. The U.S. wants him for data-rape. Supposedly he's sequestered in a U.K. jail cell for the time being, but with Assange can you really ever be sure? His hair is like a Swiss Army knife of disguise. In limp noodle mode, it turns him into B-list bad guy Julian Sands. Seconds later, he's pop art cipher Andy Warhol or America's favorite Ladies Lady Ellen DeGeneres.

So is that really him on lockdown, or are the Brits maybe holding 007 by mistake?

Julian Assange Julian Sands
The Euro-Mullet
Julian Assange Neal Patrick Harris
Doogie Nights
Julian Assange Andy Warhol
The Mop Top
Julian Assange Hermey the Elf
Santa's Little Hacker
Julian Assange Ellen Degeneres
Tipped Off
Julian Assange Daniel Craig
The Quantum of Pompous

POURCAST

BETA

Southside (MB-Bastardized)

  • 2 oz gin
  • 1 oz fresh lemon juice
  • 1 sugar cube (or half teaspoon simple sugar)
  • soda water (if desired)

Place the sugar cube at the bottom of a lowball glass, add the fresh lemon juice, and mash with the back of a spoon. Fill two-thirds with ice and the gin and stir for at least 30 seconds. Add soda water, if desired, and give a quick stir. Garnish with a lemon wedge.


In-Depth Southside (MB-Bastardized) Coverage:

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