Demanding that you leave your wife? Calm her down with a bar of inner-calming chocolate.

$5.25

British novelist Henry Fielding once said, "Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea." She's got the love and scandal covered. Now she just needs some tea.

$12

We're not saying you're not going to fill it. You might. You might not. Hope springs eternal. Or at least as long as this fling lasts.

$45

Keep her on trend, but splurge instead on hotels and blow.

$78

These make her look like she's worth a million bucks, when it only cost you $154 (plus shipping). This string of pearls is heavy and sturdy but buy with confidence: it won't hold up as a choking device.

$154

When she inevitably goes nuclear and writes the letter to your wife, it should be stylish.

$208 for 80