Magnificent Bastard

Thursday, November 26, 2015

From the Shop ↷

Game-Day Belt

Facepainting & foam fingers are not you. A belt made of NFL football leather is. Understated fanaticism FTW!

Game-Day Luxury Box

Transport your game-day suds in style, on a carpet of AstroTurf & a handle made of NFL football leather

Secret Agent Belt

Look like a fictional British Secret Service agent for just $30.07

300-Year Sterling Silver Buckle Belt

Built to look great forever — even if you live to 300

Top 7 Ways to Golf Like a Total Toolbag


Dress like a toolbag

See also, Top 10 Ways to Look Like a Total Toolbag


Take a cart

Mixing in a salad and walking 18 holes could really help you out, fatty.


Stand behind a player while he's putting

If you got a little closer you'd have an even better look at the line.


Eat sunflower seeds

Leave these for the next time you're in a dugout.


Be loud

You made a 12-footer for par. That's terrific. Now act like you've done it before.


Use a rangefinder

"It's 144 to carry the water, 152 to the hole, 163 to rear bunker." Dude, if you were that good you'd be on a tour.


Use a cellphone

The POTUS cut his round short rather than use on-course communications before the raid on Osama Bin Laden. You think that call from your wife can wait a few hours?



Bourbon Manhattan

  • 3 oz bourbon
  • 3/4 oz sweet vermouth, preferably Dolin
  • 2 dashes Angostura bitters

Stir over ice, strain into a chilled cocktail glass, and garnish with a Luxardo maraschino cherry.


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Bourbon Manhattan

Enter any city on earth & start cocktailing. (Zip codes work, too.)


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