ask the MB

Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.

channels

channel: senseless lack of utility
  • Q: The ascot....I am wearing it. It does have a HDD (High Degree of Difficulty —Ed.) but a real MB can pull it off. Your thoughts on this?
    —Jason


    A: The ascot meets at least four core MB principles:

    1. Anglophilia. They were first introduced in England.
    2. Archaism. In the late 19th century.
    3. Exclusivity. It's nearly impossible to find a good one.
    4. Senseless Lack of Utility. They are even more useless than a necktie (i.e. they're too short to double as a belt or decent tourniquet in a pinch).

    In other words, we love them.

    But can you really pull it off? To answer that question we've created an ascot-wearing "decider" flowchart below to help guide you.

    decider: ascot

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    posted:

    12.21.11

    filed under:

  • Ask the MB: Prince William's Big Hat

    Ask the MB: Prince William's Big Hat

    Q: Is it considered MB to wear an animal's entire wardrobe on your head?
    —Ev345


    A: Well, it's pretty magnificent to be heir to the throne of the fading empire that gave us the Magna Carta and golf, and wearing hats like the one Prince William was wearing this weekend is part of the job description.

    As for anyone else? William's bearskin hat is certainly characterized by a senseless lack of utility, and scores high on archaism, organic materials, and Anglophilia as well. But its primary historical purpose — to make a soldier look bigger and more imposing in battle — violates the principle of understatement and essentially establishes the garment as elevator shoes for your head.

    As you allude to, the standard hat of the British Foot Gaurds is made out of an entire bearskin. It weighs 1.5 lbs. and, most consequentially, stands 18.5 inches high. Getting in and out of limos and taxis would be a huge hassle while wearing one of these things, so until horseback reemerges as the predominant form of travel, we say "pass."

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    posted:

    6.6.11

    filed under: