magnificent bastard - ask the mb

Ask the MB: Blackberry Storm
Q: Do you hate the Blackberry Storm like I do?
--Deborah

A: Well if you've been here for a while you know our stance on the iPhone, so you can probably guess what we think of an iPhone impersonator from the maker of the ultimate toolbag communication device. The "Storm" feels like a middle-aged dad trying to be "cool" and "hip" like his high school son/daughter, but ends up only embarassing the hell out of everyone.

Overheard at the office:

"Says here 'Upload to flickr.' What the fuck is flickr?"
posted:
12.1.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
- accessories
Anthony Michael Hall as Jim. Nice acid wash!
Ask the MB: Mock Turtleneck to High School Reunion?
Q: I have a black mock turtleneck I want to wear under a dark gray /green suit. People says it looks nice but I want to be sure... The other option is a white shirt/no tie... It is for a HS reunion....The black turtleneck is slimming which draws me to it as well.
--Jeff

A: Jeff, we sense you're a new MB reader so we'll go easy on you. Are you out of your fucking mind? Ignore the "people" and wear the white shirt for chrissakes. Leave the mock turtlenecks for especially toolbaggy characters from classic Tim Burton fables. Also consider dressing down at least one notch and hopefully two. We're talking high school reunion here, not a job interview.
posted:
12.1.08
filed under:
Ask the MB: Will Smith Hoodie
Q: What kind of hoodie is Will Smith wearing in Hancock and where do you get one?
--Ric

A: The actual hoodie worn by Smith in the scene pictured is now for sale on eBay (auction ends Wednesday). It's a grey Russell Athletic you can get just about anywhere. As for the two-tone version he's wearing on the beach (inset), we're doing some digging.
posted:
12.1.08
filed under:
Ask the MB: Definitive Shawl Collar
Q: Ok shawl collar? Any comments? Steve McQueen sure did and I don't think I've ever seen a better one than on Daniel Craig in Quantum. Misguided or magnificent?
--Ron

A: Ron, your question kinda leads you to the answer, don'tcha think? We've weighed in on McQueen's shawl collar sweater before. A couple of times. While we'd prefer Dan Craig had a woven under his Tom Ford version, we agree with your analysis.
posted:
11.26.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
- sweaters
Ask the MB: 007 a Humorless Dick
Q: Couldn't help but notice that in Quantum of Solace, 007 has apparently lost the traditional Bond sense of humor. Is being a humorless dick the new charming?
--Jude

A: If there is one thing we've learned from Season 2 of The Pickup Artist (and Season 1 also!), it's the importance of throwing negs to open sets. Unfortunately the part "New Bond" is missing is the cheeky follow-up, which invariably leads to pairs of other cheeks.

Ask any broad, dame, or lass: besides a well-endowed trust fund, there ain't no feature better than a sense of humor.
posted:
11.26.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
Ask the MB: Trench for Short Guy
Q: What does the MB have to say about trench coats for short guys? I'm around 5'6" and looking for a new coat for the winter.
--Don

A: Follow the example set by the indomitable Inspector Clouseau in the Pink Panther cartoons. The Pink Panther is about 6' tall, so Clouseau has to come in at around 4' (including the hat), and he goes with a shorter trench that ends above the knee.
posted:
11.26.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
- outerwear
Ask the MB: Black Coat
Q: Need a good black winter coat. Got any favorites?
--Tripp

A: Tripp, your email comes from Duke University, so we'll assume you're at least somewhat on a college guy's budget, and it ain't like Durham gets that nippy even in January. Anyhow, Spiewak always provides great value. For the price ($132.00) we sure like their McKenzie Coat. For a little more dough, this season Banana Republic has a surprisingly good peacoat. If you've been saving up your beer money, for whatever reason, Diesel makes Dean's List.
posted:
11.24.08
filed under:
Ask the MB: Hair Product
Q: My stylist recommended American Crew Forming Cream as a "product" to keep my do in check. However, in these tough economic times, $15 for less than four ounces of goop seems like a luxury I cannot afford. Are there cheaper alternatives to this product out there?
--Ed

A: Well, you could try Twilight heartthrob and new "It" guy Robert Pattinson's approach and not wash your hair for four years. Natural oils combined with dirt provide high hold and shine!

Ed, we're going to be frank. You're getting your hair cut by a stylist -- which is likely running you a minimum of $50 plus tip -- and you're bitching about $15 for product? While we hate their shampoos, American Crew hair cream is probably our all-time favorite grooming product, and that 3.53 oz. container lasts forever. Possibly the best $15 you'll ever spend.
posted:
11.21.08
filed under:
Would the High Plains Drifter tuck in?
Ask the MB: More Pant Tucking
Q: Like the site. Love the wit. Disagree with the advice at times. Your recent comment about pants tucked into your boots will either be looked back upon as classic style genius, or out of step for 2009. Take a look at this:
--Eric

A: We don't believe in following the latest fad to emerge from some blog photographing some guy on a street in NYC. Anyhow, $100 says this look is actually unaffected and the result of his jeans being too skinny to go over his goddamn boots. Christ. Yet another unsightly byproduct of the skinny trend.
posted:
11.21.08
filed under:
Ask the MB: Collar Tucking with Crewnecks
Q: What do you suggest that one does with their collars when wearing a crewneck sweater? Keep them tucked in or flop them out?
--Rob

A: If you are wearing a woven shirt, keep those collars in. If your shirt is a knit either way is acceptable. MB JFK tucked his in; MB William F. Buckley let his hang out.
posted:
11.21.08
filed under:
Ask the MB: Pant Tucking
Q: As we venture deeper into cold weather here in New York, I've noticed many guys walking around with their pants tucked into their boots. Initially, I vehemently opposed. On further consideration, I thought the look might be able to be achieved. Then upon even further thought, I dismissed it on grounds of TTH. Thoughts?
--Josh

A: It's not TTH (Trying Too Hard), it's TTHTLLYS (Trying Too Hard To Look Like Yosemite Sam). Tucking your pants into your boots shortens your legs, hence making you look short. Like Yosemite Sam. Unless you're 7'+, this is asinine and be only somethin' varmits do.
posted:
11.20.08
filed under:
- pants
- ask the MB
Ask the MB: More Turtleneck Clarification
Q: Clarification on the turtleneck. Surely you refer to the ribbed/knit examples you show and NOT the cotton tight-necked number we all remember from childhood winters.
--Palmy

A: Paul Newman made a fairly tight-necked turtleneck work pretty well in perhaps the most famous turtleneck photo of all time. Palmy, maybe your 2nd-grade sartorial memories aren't as bad as you think.
posted:
11.20.08
filed under:
Ask the MB: Bracelets and Dog Tags
Q: I'm not a big fan of jewelry in general, but every once in a while I get the inclination to try wearing a bracelet or dog tags. Should I ignore that inclination?
--Dustin

A: We don't love the smell of accessorization in the morning.

Robert Duvall rocked the bracelet and dogs tags in a major way as Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore in Apocalypse Now. (Incidentally, he was 48 years old in this picture.) But he was in the U.S. Army, in theater, fighting the Vietnamese at the time. We're guessing you're not. For civilians we preach accessorization minimization, so go ahead and ignore that inclination.
posted:
11.17.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
- accessories
Ask the MB: Pinkie Ring OK?
Q: I reject the MB's stance against pinkie rings at all cost. I wear a simple, small, stainless steel one because of what it represents. I'm an engineer from Canada (ya make all the jokes you want to prove your American insecurity, eh) and it represents a solemn expression of intent, a reminder of the humanity and responsibility involved in the profession. Keep that in mind when the guy-from-out-of-town drinks you under the bar while wearing one. Plus the ring follows the MB mantra, lack of utility coinciding with obscurity.
--Ethan

A: The other day we were watching a television advertisement for a national restaurant chain and witnessed a customer wearing a pinkie ring (and exhibiting PDA). The restaurant was Applebee's. Our challenge to you, Mr. smart engineer guy: calculate the degree incline of the uphill battle you're fighting.
posted:
11.17.08
filed under:
Ask the MB: White Leather Belt
Q: Does the MB have a white leather belt in his quiver? I have noticed a trend in fashion to don the WLB with certain styles or retro. Your take?
--Stephen

A: Yessir, an MB has one of these arrows in his closet, and it's especially appropriate on the golf course/retro. It's not the easiest to pull off, but if there's doubt just think of Johnny Miller in 1976 on his way to a British Open title.
posted:
11.14.08
filed under:
Ask the MB: Turtleneck Clarification
Q: I'm unclear on your turtleneck position. Are saying it was only ok in 1968 and for chaps much more MB than I'll ever be? I have a navy tall mock turtleneck (taller than a mock but not enough to fold over) that I love. Not MB?
--Scott

A: We're saying McQueen, Player, and Newkirk helped make the turtleneck forever cool. If you don't have enough material to fold over, or let flop down in an artfully disheveled way, then you ought to keep it in your closet. Or perhaps burn it. Anything even veering towards mock should be avoided or you might start looking like Tiger Woods. And that ain't good.
posted:
11.14.08
filed under:
Ask the MB: Turtlenecks
Q: Is the turtleneck completely dead? Are there any exceptions? Is it coming back? I have a bunch -- not sure whether to burn 'em.
--AJ

A: Many may remember 1968 as kind of a downer, with RFK and MLK getting shot, the Tet Offensive, and Nixon's election. However, AJ, for the turtleneck, 1968 defined it as forever cool.

Top: In 1968's Bullitt, Steve McQueen paired a turtleneck with a tweedy blazer and cemented his status as a style icon.

Middle: In 1968 Gary Player paired a turtleneck with 289 at Carnoustie and got his name inscribed on the Claret Jug.

Bottom: In 1968 Newkirk paired a turtleneck with pickpocketing, locksmithing, and card-sharking to defeat Col. Klink and the Third Reich.
posted:
11.12.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
- turtleneck
Ask the MB: Formalwear Questions
Q: Some formalwear questions: One or two vents for the jacket? French cuffs on the shirt? What kind of collar? Spread, pointed? Button down or not?
--John

A: We'll, since Quantum of Solace is opening on Friday, it's appropriate to look to James Bond for the answers. Because he's got 'em all: The jacket should have a double vent (we've covered this before). The shirt should have French cuffs, and a point collar. And anyone who wears a button-down should be put out of his misery with Connery's old Walther PP. Or at the very least an aggressive pistol-whipping.
posted:
11.12.08
filed under:
- formalwear
- ask the MB
Ask the MB: Weight Loss Plan
Q: Of course being an MB is about exuding confidence in all that you do, it helps to be lean, or at least not a fat bastard. I'm athletic but need to lose about 20lbs. to look my best. What eating habits to you propose for the MB lifestyle?
--Travis

A: Food writer Michael Pollan described a good diet simply: "Eat real food. Not too much. Mostly plants." Change the word "plants" to "animals" and we think he might be onto something.

Travis, the fact is, weight loss (and gain) is simple mathematics. Eat less, work out more, and the 20lbs. will be gone pronto.
posted:
11.7.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
Ask the MB: Sport Shirt Tuck-In Clarification
Q: I live in a total flannel shirt and NASCAR baseball hat state but consider myself a MB. Going back to your article "The Tyranny of the Untucked Sport Shirt", there sems to be a little lack of clarification. Is it OK to tuck in the sport shirt when wearing jeans? As a 32 year old guy, I don't want to exude that older, dad look. Please advise.
--Evan in Maine.

A: If you notice the Bravo toolbags, they're all wearing denim. Unless your shirt is specifically designed to be untucked, then tuck in, especially if you're in jeans.

As far as the dreaded "dad look" goes, this has more to do with the choice of denim and belt-mounted communication device than it does with tucking in your sport shirt.
posted:
11.7.08
filed under:
Edun Brando Military Shirt
via Saks Fifth Avenue. $155.00.
Ask the MB: Tucking In
Q: Is it ever acceptable to wear a button up shirt untucked? I always tuck my shirts in, but my friend always tries to get me to untuck them. Should I ever listen to him on the topic of shirts (or anything else)?
--PO

A: We have discussed this issue before in a post entitled, "The Tyranny of the Untucked Sport Shirt." Unless the shirt is designed to be untucked, like this "Brando Military Shirt" from Edun, your shirt should be tucked in. In other words, ignore your friend in all matters, not just sartorial.
posted:
11.3.08
filed under:
Theory Thomas Avenue Pants
via Saks Fifth Avenue. $185.00.
Ask the MB: Flared Dress Pants
Q: I love flat front dress pants that appear to have a slight flare at the bottom of the leg (think "Doug" in Mind of a Married Man). But, I have a difficult time finding the cut and fit. I have a great pair by Theory, they are totally MB. Can you point me towards any makers with this fit? Any thoughts on this look?
--Rich

A: Rich, you indeed are an MB. Theory's slight bootcut dress pants make most men look great, and perhaps because of this, fellas have a little extra swagger in their step when they wear 'em. Heck, look at the MB-style pose of the model in this picture! One thing we do not and never will understand is the slim/skinny pant trend, which seems to be peaking (hopefully) in Fall 2008. About 5% of the male population can make this work satisfactorily, and 4% are under-fed hipster doofuses who play in some crap band. For the rest of the guys out there, all this cut accomplishes is making their ass look big.

Anyhow, finding what you want in the slim tsunami is difficult, but John Varvatos is a good option (inset).
posted:
10.30.08
filed under:
Ask the MB: Shawl Collar Sweaters
Q: A sweater with a shawl collar: a fleeting trend or an MB wardrobe staple?
--Wadie

A: The shawl-collar sweater doesn't quite reach the high "wardrobe staple" bar, but in 1968's Bullitt Steve McQueen definitively made it more than a "fleeting trend." Wear with confidence this year, and next.
posted:
10.29.08
filed under:
Ask the MB: Too Much Corduroy?
Q: How much corduroy is too much? I, like many, own a corduroy blazer. It's chocolate and I love how versatile it is. But around this time of year, I also like wearing corduroy pants, mainly to work. Seems like overkill to wear both together. Am I right?
--Jason

A: You are basically correct. An icon like YSL could probably make mismatched corduroy work, but the degree of difficulty is extremely high. A full-on corduroy suit is MB-approved, especially if you're trying to pull off that disheveled egghead look. It worked well for Donald Sutherland as the stoner English professor Dave Jennings in Animal House. And he ended up plowing Karen Allen.

We digress. Jason, to answer your question, match that blazer with a pair of jeans and rumpled oxford and wool/cashmere tie and you're good to go.
posted:
10.28.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
- blazers
Ask the MB: Leather Motorcyle-Inspired Jacket
Q: Alright, I've been looking for a bastardly leather jacket for a while. Motorcycle inspired without being too Joey Ramone. Found some really nice and really expensive ones from the likes of Rick Owens and Burberry among others. Of course the ones I really like are the most expensive. Any suggestions for a nearly as cool but not nearly as pricey option?
--keska

A: "The ones I really like are the most expensive." Funny how that works when you're an MB. It's our burden.

Anyhow, we don't really have an answer you're going to like. If you want to get into a motorcycle-inspired leather jacket and don't want to veer into Aurthur Fonzarelli territory, you'll have to pay.
posted:
10.24.08
filed under:
- outerwear
- ask the MB
Ask the MB: Watch Shape
Q: Hello, I've got a question about watch shape. I prefer square shape watches over round ones. Which is more MB? And which should be worn in what situation?
--PK

A: JFK wore a square Omega at the Inaugural Ball on January 19, 1960 (pictured), and on a lot of other occasions, so you're in good company. However, square is definitely more formal and serious, and those kinds of wearing opportunities are few and far between. After all, how many times do you plan on taking the oath of office? A much more sensible choice for an every day wearer is round.
posted:
10.21.08
filed under:
- watches
- ask the MB
Ask the MB: Losing His Edge
Q: As an early 40's MB whose M has slipped a bit, what do you recommend as the basic wardrobe essentials for bring it back?
--RG

A: As a one-time true MB, your perceived slippage probably has less to do with wardrobe selection than it does with hair loss, weight gain, or your wife going to pot. Instead of having an affair, try two far less expensive options:

Denim: We see far too many aging men wind up in "Dad Jeans" (top) -- aka "Jerry Seinfeld Jeans" (bottom). Get into a good pair of denim; something that's not Levi's tapered high-rise.

Footwear: Something else we see far too much of: white New Balance running shoes. These have become the Hush Puppies of aging Gen-Xers. Along with your new jeans, try a pair of Campers, or Adidas Originals, or anything from Puma's Alexander McQueen collection, and start getting your M back.
posted:
10.20.08
filed under:
Ask the MB: Jeans and T-Shirt Looking Plain
Q: Whenever I dress in a t-shirt and jeans I always look so plain. What are some ways I can look more magnificent, other than things like sunglasses and v-necks?
--John

A: Well, you can call it plain. With the just the right denim and just the right t-shirt, combined with thoughtful accessorization (yes, beyond sunglasses) or footwear, we call this The Uniform.

But don't just take our word for it. Victoria Beckham, up-and-coming designer and former Posh Spice, in the October issue of Details magazine, documents her 10 Rules of Style. Her #1 rule is something we heartily endorse:

Style isn't about money. One of the nicest outfits on a man is pair of jeans, some old, messed-up boots, a simple white tee, and a vintage leather belt. You don't have to spend a lot. It's about mixing and matching and getting things that fit properly.
We'll try to demonstrate this visually in future editions.
posted:
10.16.08
filed under:
Ask the MB: 7 Footer
Q: Hi guys, love the site but I'm having something of a difficult time implementing the advice. I'm 23, and my problem is that I'm 7' tall and quite thin, and it's damn near impossible to find fashionable clothes that fit properly. Are there any good designer labels that cater specifically to tall people? Also, are there any dress tips that might help me blend in a bit better? I'm tired of standing out all the time.
--Michael

A: How's your low-post defense? Or your mid-range jumper? And perhaps most importantly, how does your skin react to sustained contact with 100% jersey polyester?

In all seriousness, none of the designers featured on this site are going to help you much beyond a t-shirt or accessory. Michael, it's time to discover the world of bespoke clothing. You think those injured NBA players at the end of the bench are in off-the-rack suits from Macy's? OK, maybe the guards and small forwards. Find a good tailor in your area and he can handle all your office-related suiting and shirting needs. For jeans, find a denim bar with a sewing machine on the premises and those elusive 46" inseam bootcuts are yours while you wait. (Note: this may require coastal travel if you're not already there.)

As for blending in better, try to spend a lot of time sitting down.
posted:
10.14.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
AG jeans in 'nice ass' wash
Ask the MB: Breast Guys
Q: While we have long had our suspicions, you have made it abundantly clear that you, dearest, are a true blue, card-carrying breast guy. Of course, we love that about you ... it shows that under that cool, aloof and artfully disheveled exterior lies a lusty, red-blooded bastard. Luckily for us boyish-figured girl detectives, however, there is a non-negligible percentage of your brethren who are actually ass guys. (Perhaps you have a diagram for this?) Why don't you throw them some sugar from time to time, Sugar?
--Nancy Drew

A: We will definitely consider how an ass-breast chart be best laid out. In the meantime, we don't think it's abundantly clear we're breast guys. We've admired Heidi Klum's ass (in spite of the Photoshop lypo), and flat-chested Audrey Hepburn is one of our favorites. We were also one of the first organizations on record as being opposed to Hillary Clinton's increased cleavage exposure.

Would real breast guys take that stance? OK, well, maybe. But the point is, we do not discriminate or play favorites. Breasts and asses have equality before the ~~law~~ MB.

It's all really a moot point anyhow. A bird's personal style and what's between her ears trump breasts and asses any day.
posted:
10.10.08
filed under:
- women
- ask the MB
Ask the MB: Winter Trench
Q: I've been looking for a new fall/winter coat. I really like this coat from J. Crew, but I wanted your opinion. It's the J. Crew Sutherland herringbone topcoat.
--Matt

A: Great silhouette. Nice price. Model has collar properly turned up. We endorse this purchase, Matt, but only if you are > 6' 0" and fairly svelte. Otherwise you may be headed into herringbone bathrobe territory.
posted:
10.10.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- Pagers
Q: What's your view on pagers? You know the little thing that sits on your belt and receive messages. I don't like carrying my phone around with me, but I still want people to be able to get in touch with me when I'm out of the office.
--Dave

A: Dave, we reckon you're toying with us by asking this question, but we strongly endorse such an anachronistic gesture. It's like writing a letter on a typewriter. (Don't go with the acid wash though.)
posted:
10.1.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
- accessories
Ask the MB -- White Cotton Suit Timing
Q: When is it too late to wear a white cotton suit? What if it is still warm at the end of September?
--Ben

We've previously set rules on white jeans (which were then copied by GQ's Style Guy in the July 2008 issue). The window for a white cotton suit is quite a bit smaller. Unless you're south of 26 degrees North latitude (about Ft. Lauderdale, FL), a strict Memorial Day-Labor Day rule is enforced.
posted:
9.30.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
- suits
Pulaski Red Raider marching band
Ask the MB -- Where Are You Located?
Q: Darling MB: Where are you located? I have trouble imagining you in NYC or SF, but I'd be delighted were you in either fine city. Also, the word "chick"? Utterly pedestrian. I'm not asking for you to go all-out hipster and say something ridiculous like "birdie" or "doll", but really. xx.
--Holden

A: What, no kisses? Hon, your instincts are strong. We're based out of Pulaski, WI.
posted:
9.30.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
Ask the MB -- Cargo Pants
Q: What are your thoughts on cargo pants? I see no reference under pants?
--Clint

A: Perhaps the best quote from 2007's Superbad is from Seth, played by Jonah Hill: "Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'Nam!" Yes, we're talking about cargo pants here, but it's probably safe to say no one's gotten a hand job in cargo pants since Grenada, or at least Desert Storm.

Once again, 14th-century English logician and Franciscan friar William of Ockham brings clarity to the issue of cargo pants: "All other things being equal, the simplest solution is the best." In other words, what the hell do you need all those extra pockets for?
posted:
9.26.08
filed under:
- pants
- ask the MB

Ask the MB -- Principle of Organic Materials

Q: Regarding North Face fleece, just what exactly is the principle of organic materials?
--Lee

A: The principle of organic materials is simple: It's that organic materials are inherently superior to anything made by man, even if they are less practical. So when given a choice, always choose organic materials.

Try this thought experiment to illustrate the point: Imagine the ultimate MB -- JFK -- sailing a boat made out of fiberglass. Your head just exploded. See what we mean? Plus, given that organics are the result of Mother Nature, there are always slight imperfections that enhance another core MB attribute: artful dishevelment. (Note JFK's look.)

Use the following table to help guide your decision-making.

If you are about to:

Activity	Choose	Instead Of
Buy a dress shirt	100% cotton	50-50 cotton-poly blend
Side your house	cedar	vinyl
Write something down	#2 pencil	pen
Decide on a date	The one with real breasts	The one with fake breasts
Tee it up	Featherie	Titleist Pro V1
Climb Mt. Everest	To wear pelts from Nepalese fauna	North Face fleece

posted:

9.24.08

filed under:

Ask the MB -- North Face Fleece
Q: Fall and winter are looming on the horizon and the need to stay warm is quickly becoming a concern. What is your opinion on "The North Face" craze? Past peak? I hope not since I own several of their jackets for casual/ski wear and still love them.
--Matt

A: Matt, is there a resale shop near you?

North Face fleece violates at least three MB principles:

1. Principle of organic materials.
2. Principle of no logos.
3. Principle of not looking like Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.
posted:
9.23.08
filed under:
- outerwear
- ask the MB
Ask the MB -- What to Drive
Q: Forgive me if this question is outside the realm of the MB: What's the best method of automotive transportation for an MB? I get mixed signals in an age of "going green" and MB principles of exclusivity, understatement and bastardness. Something ostentatious like a Hummer is no doubt passé and a Prius is too ubiquitous and trendy. My main mode of transport is a 40 MPG, 1997 Honda Civic HX with 256,000 miles. It's a great car and has never broken down but I suspect it's neither magnificent or bastardly. Thoughts?
--Dan

A: This question no doubt deserves full treatment in the form of an MB Scientific Chart, but we're currently all too drunk from free booze at several GOP Convention parties to put one together. In the meantime, your instincts on the Hummer and the Prius are right on, and you're obviously understanding core MB principles like exclusivity and understatement. But the '97 Civic violates another core principle: a senseless lack of utility. Your car doesn't break down enough. Sorry ... where were we? Tune in later for a chart.
posted:
9.4.08
filed under:
- cars
- ask the MB
Dolce & Gabbana Reversible Cardigan
via Saks Fifth Avenue. $475.00.
Ask the MB -- Fall Wedding
Q: My boyfriend, (who is 30, I am 29) and I are attending a wedding on November 1st. The wedding is around noon, and what to wear then is not an issue. The reception however, is 6 hours later, in the early evening, at local micro brewery's event hall. Boyfriend is a sous chef, and his clothes are either casual, or formal, but we aren't sure what's best in this situation. And what about me? Cocktail dress? Satin slacks and a pretty top? We humbly seek your expertise and guidance. Thank you!
-Dana

A: Dana, you don't need much help. Your hosts are signaling casual with the noon wedding and the brewpub. We like the satin slacks and pretty top idea. Hot. For your hash-slinging beau: casual to go with your un-cocktail dress look. November 1 is officially fall and darn close to holiday, so velvet works. Otherwise corduroy and something nubby, either the tie or the cardigan or the v-neck.
posted:
9.2.08
filed under:
Jack Spade Messenger Bag
via Barney's Co-Op. $150.00.
Ask the MB -- Jack Spade Bags
Q: What do you think of the Jack Spade bags?
--Bry

A: Hard to argue with the clean lines of Jack Spade bags. We suppose you can cut off that logo, with sharp cuticle scissors and steady hand. Bigger problem is, these things are everywhere, so they don't pass muster on the MB principle of exclusivity/obscurity.
posted:
8.28.08
filed under:
This probably won't do.
Ask the MB -- Renting a Tuxedo
Q: I have a black tie wedding to attend. I don't have the financial clout to buy myself a good tux so my question is, if I'm renting what style would be the best?
--Warren

A: Your limited financial clout has put you between a rock and a hard place, Warren. A couple of options to consider:

Option A: Find a formalwear rental place in your area that carries something designer and wool and with two buttons.

Option B: For a little more money, log onto ebay and rent to own.

Either way, avoid the $75 polyester special. When you factor in the post-wedding trip to the dermatologist, it's actually going to be the more expensive (not to mention least stylish) option.
posted:
8.27.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
- formalwear
John Varvatos Mercer Boot
via zappos.com. $304.00.
Ask the MB -- Boots as Wardrobe Staple
Q: As a young MB-in-training, I am always on the lookout for wardrobe staples that any MB cannot do without. The fall and winter seasons are approaching rapidly, and I am in dire need of the essential boot that cannot only withstand the harshest of weather, but also provide my feet with a look of class mixed with ruggedness. Finding such a pair is certainly a tough feat, and for that I graciously ask for your suggestions. Do note that I am but a mere collegian, so please forgo any exorbitant recommendations.
--Max

A: You low cash-flowin', high-falutin' word-usin' college boys are making it tough. We've previously discussed black leather boots as a wardrobe staple, and tried explaining why a $600 pair of Prada Linea Rossas was actually a wise investment. We prefer rubber soles these days, but if you're going for ruggedness then leather is the better choice. Assuming you have $600, put $300 towards beer and drugs and CliffsNotes; put the the other $300 towards these John Varvatos Mercer boots. (Also recommended: a more casual pebbled version from bluefly.)
posted:
8.21.08
filed under:
XN Vertical Messenger
via Flight 001. $72.00.
Ask the MB -- Collegiate Messenger Bag
Q: So college starts soon, and I'd like a new bag. I really like messenger bags, but most of them are so UN-magnificent. What should this bastard buy for school? By the way, just discovered this site about a week ago, and it's one of my new favorites!
--John

A: John, normally we would recommend something from Mandarina Duck or Knomo, but since you're in college, we'd rather see you spend your money on beer, grass, and condoms. Not necessarily in that order. For a cool messenger bag on a budget that no one else will own (that also holds a laptop), try this XN Vertical Messenger from one of our favorites, Flight 001. Currently 30% off clearance.
posted:
8.19.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- Copying Your Boss's Style
Q: I wear a lot of buttondown shirts to work, and I see my boss not buttoning down his collars. So I ask the MB, should I follow his example?
--Mike

A: Mike, you can laugh at his jokes, maybe order a similar drink at happy hour, and own his pet project, but never compromise your own style. Keep your buttons buttoned. Besides, unbuttoned buttondown shirts is a little TTH. Even worse is GQ's Style Guy Glenn O'Brien, who, in a recent column, admitted to buttoning one and leaving the other unbuttoned, which is artful dishevelment all wrong.
posted:
8.14.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- Men Shopping Like Women
Q: The September issue of Details magazine is noticing a new trend. For some guys, the go-to reward after a hard day isn't whiskey -- it's Gucci. All of a sudden, men are rewarding themselves the way women always have: with trips to their favorite stores to exercise the Amex. Compulsive shopping isn't just for girls anymore. Check out our story and let me know what you think.
--Jenny, Details magazine

A: Jenny, why sacrifice whiskey for Gucci when an MB can have both? Setting foot in actual stores and interacting with actual people is so last century. Modern times demand multi-tasking: fix a Macallan neat, flip it to Bravo, and shop compulsively online (use the links on our home page) until either a.) you pass out, or b.) you find something cool. Can't lose.
posted:
8.12.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
Ask the MB -- Hairstyles and Sport Clips
Q: The last time I got my hair cut, the stylist (at Sport Clips) suggested that I start wearing it in a faux hawk. Even though I'm still an MB in training, I'm doubtful. So, what is your opinion on hairstyles (and going to Sport Clips)?
--Byron

A: The faux hawk is the urban mullet. Yes, David Beckham can pull it off adequately, but he is David Beckham. Everyone else is simply a sad variation of Martin Short's SNL character, Ed Grimley (inset).

Regarding Sport Clips, all you need to do is look at the picture they use on the "About Sport Clips" page: the man most in need of an MB makeover on the planet. Byron, find yourself a hot young stylist who will shampoo your hair, give you a scalp massage, and not suggest bad hairstyle ideas.
posted:
8.11.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- T-Shirt Improvement Plan
Q: I come to you for t-shirt advice. As I continue my evolution to a certified MB, I'm at a crossroads. I obviously go for the logo-less, slim-fitting tees, but I've wanted to spice up my t-shirt wardrobe lately. Outside of plain tees, what is acceptable? Please impart your wisdom.
--Pedro

A: You're on the right track, amigo. Besides logos we can also safely rule out graphics and legibility. Hence, you should avoid Project E, Tailgate, Rogues Gallery, Blue Marlin, Drifter, Monarchy, Morphine Generation, Kidrobot, and almost everything from Urban Outfitters.

Don't MB rules make life easy?

We've already expressed our fondness for the Calvin Klein T-shirt. It works in lots of situations, but certainly not all. Round out your collection with simple shirts from James Perse, NSF, Save Khaki, Barney's Co-Op, and our current favorite designer, John Varvatos. We highly recommend his slub cotton crewneck (top) and v-neck (bottom), a stylish twist on a basic.
posted:
8.4.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- Steve Jobs
So what do you think of Apple founder Steve Jobs' sense of style? These days, he almost always wears the same outfit in public, consisting of: 1) black mock turtleneck; 2) jeans; 3) white or grey New Balance sneakers; and 4) iPhone. Is it just me, or does this technological visionary dress like a toolbag?
--Evan

A: We haven't specifically addressed Jobs' particular sense of "style," but your sense of the MB ethos is strong, Evan.

- mock turtleneck
- jeans. Poor Steve could learn about AG. That high-rise, tapered Levi's soccer-dad cut just isn't appropriate for a technological visionary. Or really anyone.
- white New Balance sneakers
- iPhone

Verdict: total toolbag.
posted:
8.1.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- Scooters
Q: With gas prices where they are the idea of commuting on a scooter is looking more attractive. The problem is I don't want to look like a toolbag. Is there anyway to avoid this? By the way I am not a 20 year-old, 100 pound, Starbucks barista.
--Ben

A: Making a scooter work definitely has a high DD (Degree of Difficulty) but can be very MB (Magnificent Bastardly), primarily due to scootering's importance in the British "mod" scene of the '60s and '70s. Sting is riding one with aplomb in the poster for the 1979 film Quadrophenia (top). So they meet the MB principle of Anglophilia straight away.

Also, Certified Magnificent Bastard William F. Buckley is riding one on the cover of his 1968 book "The Jeweler's Eye" (bottom). Take note of these examples -- check out Buckley's dress, hair, and facial expression -- and ride with confidence.
posted:
7.31.08
filed under:
- celebrities
- ask the MB
Ask the MB -- White Linen Suit in Puerto Rican Wedding
Q: So I just reviewed your article (and your time-lapse photos) on linen. While I agree that there is a potential for a train wreck, I also feel that if worn with care, the white linen suit can produce stunning results. I have my wedding ceremony in August in Puerto Rico. I bought a Hugo Boss 3-button white linen suit for the occasion. I plan on wearing it only for the ceremony, pictures and cocktail hour (changing for the dancing portion). I have two questions: 1) Is it true that white underwear will really stand out and do I have to find the elusive nude color brief? And 2) I'm wearing dark brown, leather sandals and belt, can you recommend an appropriate color and fabric for my shirt?
--Gabe

A: Gabe, remember when you were a little boy and your mom told you not to touch the hot stove because you'd get burned? And then you touched the stove and got burned? Remember the pain you felt, and all the tears and bandages and shit, and how you wish you listened to your mom?

Does this ring a bell at all?

The beach and the August Puerto Rican dew point will help, but we're not just talking a hot stovetop here. We're talking open flame, like a Bunsen burner. If you still insist on playing with fire: 1) Yes, white will show through. Nude isn't necessary. Grey works. Anything closer to your skin tone. 2) Cotton with a touch of elastane. For color, go with a neutral, light blue at the outside.
posted:
7.30.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- Wearing Shorts After Dark
Q: Why do I see guys out at night in long pants even when it's 90 degrees?
--Mark

Those guys you see? They're most likely MBs. Wearing shorts after dark is strictly for college boys and parking valets.

Please consult our short-wearing guide below for further guidance.

posted:
7.28.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
- shorts
Ask the MB -- Gordon Rush Plus Sandals
Q: Hey guys. Enjoying your blog. Just wanted to ask if you're familiar with Gordon Rush's line of footwear. I recently ran into a pair of GR dress shoes, and I am thoroughly impressed with the smooth, clean looks, yet they have an understated boldness to them as well. I can't find the same particular shoe online, but thought you may want to check out the web site: www.gordonrush.com.

While I'm at it, how do you feel about these sandals. Not a fan of the logo-ing, but I'm getting the pedicure next week and attending an outdoor wedding, so I'm running out of time. Thanks.
--Matt

A: We admire Gordon Rush as a fairly young designer who's been fairly successful, but he hasn't been mentioned since this site launched for a reason. There's just something too smooth and too clean about his aesthetic. Not to mention, his go-to toe shape is a little too square. (See MB Shoe Toe Pointiness Chart for reference.)

Regarding the sandals, it's fair to say logoed footwear is verboten at a wedding ceremony, but certainly the pedicure will help mitigate the style damage.

You're getting warmer, son, but keep reading.
posted:
7.24.08
filed under:
MB GG with first cell phone, the Motorola DynaTAC 8000x
Ask the MB -- Portable Communication Conundrum
Q: I've been a reader for a while now, but haven't seen you tackle the portable communication conundrum. (Or maybe I just missed it.) With iPhone, Blackberry, Helio Ocean, et al. as communication options, each with more features than a Swiss Army Knife, which one(s) is MB approved? And don't worry, no belt clips here...middle management life is not for me.
--Gregory

A: While we can't get into all the specific models available, our new Portable Communication Guide chart will hopefully make clear where we stand on this matter.

posted:
7.22.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- White Pants Q & A
Q: Please tell me that the bastard on your front page banner isn't wearing linen pants.
--John

A: No, the Magnificent Bastard on the front page banner is most definitely not wearing linen pants, because we've all witnessed the disaster they turn into. Just cotton with a dash of elastane.

Q: Again with the white pants. At the risk of sounding like Tim the homophobe, I'm concerned that you may not appreciate the gay factor of some of these endorsements. I have prepared this graph for your reference.
--Thom

posted:
7.17.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- Tie Extinction
Q: I am saddened to think that I will see two great things become extinct in my lifetime: the internal combustion engine and neckties. Richard Whitbread, marketing manager of Tie Rack, said: "Since the doom and gloom (bad economy) set in, sales of ties have picked up. We have seen a 10 percent increase in sales over the last quarter. When people start to be more concerned about their jobs, they start to smarten up. Also a lot of people are looking for jobs at the moment." What he forgets to mention is that necktie sales are 15% of what they were 15 years ago. That's such a huge decline, it leads me to believe that hasty Father's Day gifts and funerals make up the bulk of necktie purchases. In your opinion. will neckties go the way of knickers?
--Eric

A: We'd expect the increase in tie sales to continue. Also incoming for Fall 2008: flannel suits, long topcoats, hats of all shapes and sizes, and general black-and-whiteness.

Top: Run on bank then.
Bottom: Run on bank now.
posted:
7.16.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- Hillary Makeover
Q: Even the minions of the MB can see that Hillary Clinton is in need of some fashion assistance. If the MB were to provide her with some advice and consent what would you suggest that she do to amend her fashion mistakes?
--Chris

A: 15 years ago SPY magazine offered a good suggestion for Hillary's wardrobe: dominatrix. Unfortunately the United States Senate has clear rules against leather, whips, and chokers. So, here is our 3-point plan that might still get Hillary in the White House:

1. Ditch the Crazy-Ass Color Palette
Nobody looks good in head-to-toe royal blue. Or turquoise. Or especially the bumblebee yellow-and-black. Heck, that color combination even makes Bumblebee Man look sad. Go with neutrals. Try just black for once.

2. Implement Disproportionately-Wide Hip Mitigation Plan
For whatever reason, Hillary chooses to feature her worst feature -- those hips -- by repeatedly wearing pantsuits. Try a tie shirt-dress or, and this is really radical, a skirt. Yes, they expose the cankles but still preferable.

3. Abandon Dress Barn as Wardrobe Source
Or wherever she gets her current outfits. It's true: Prada does not make a size 18, but try Neiman Marcus or Saks and get into brands like Eileen Fisher, TSE, Gayla Bentley, or Shirin Guild.

From top:
* February 1993 SPY magazine cover
* Hillary at January 2008 campaign stop
* Bumblebee Man
* Gayla Bentley tie shirt-dress
posted:
7.14.08
filed under:
Kenneth Cole New York Oxfords
via bluefly. $96.00.
Ask the MB -- Shoe Toe Pointiness
Q: What is the MB take on square-toed vs. round-toed shoes? I thought square-toe was out but I still see them quite a bit. Thanks MB.
--Steve

A: Mainly thanks to Kenneth Cole, square-toed shoes had their day late last century. In this millenium, go with a round shape, or a wing tip-style shape is also MB-approved. Consult the Official MB Shoe Toe Pointiness Chart below for guidance.

posted:
7.11.08
filed under:
Alden Straight Tip Blucher (& Sputnik 1)
via aldenshoes.com. $390.00.
Ask the MB -- Alden Shoes
Q: How do you feel about Alden shoes? They fit the "no logos" AND have been made in America for over a hundred years. But can the price be justified? Especially for Cordovan. I ask because I just bought a few pair - so you BETTER SAY YES!
--Jeff

A: In spite of Alden's strong pedigree -- or maybe because of it -- they're too "trad" (traditional) to get a strong MB endorsement. Other legendary brands like Pringle and Burberry have changed with the times, offering updates to the classics. Alden seems content plodding along (get it?) with their aging, evening news-watching market.

Anyhow, if you're going to Go Grandpa, make it work by matching with updated accessories, an unstructured blazer, or basically anything that makes it look like you were born this side of Sputnik 1. And definitely show some ankle. Whatever you do, do not combine with anything from Brooks Brothers.
posted:
7.10.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
- shoes
New Balance 574
via Classic Sport Shoes. $59.95.
Ask the MB -- Running Shoes or Clown Shoes?
Q: As far as workout attire, specifically shoes, should fashion give way to function? I've been looking for a good pair of running shoes, but I can't find ones that will offer great comfort and performance and don't look like a gaudy monstrosity of multiple stripes, colors, and logos. Do you take the hit and buy a pair of hideous shoes for the greater good of a great body, or is there never a good excuse for wearing what essentially amounts to Nike clown shoes?
--Ron

A: Good question. Whenever we need to blend fashion and function in sport shoes, we head to classicsportshoes.com. There you will find, ahem, classics like the New Balance 574s. Yes, there is a big "N" on the side -- difficult to avoid branding on running shoes -- but surely no multiple stripes or colors or any other clown shoe-related styling.
posted:
7.8.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
- shoes
Ask the MB -- Japan Trip
Q: I have to go to Japan on business... What would a Magnificent Bastard spend my expense account on?
--Eric

A: Given current exchange rates, you could splurge and get a bowl of miso soup.

If you're feeling really flush, head to the nearest Muji and pick up, well, anything. From their "about us" page, here's a philosophy with MB written all over it: "Our goal of offering products that excel in quality at lower prices has been achieved by avoiding the waste typical of much product-manufacturing and distribution - in the form of unnecessary functionality, an excess of decoration, and needless packaging."
posted:
7.7.08
filed under:
- travel
- ask the MB
Ask the MB -- Polo Shirts
What is the Magnificent Bastard take on something I've always thought to be a staple in my closet, the Polo shirt (http://tinyurl.com/32uco2)? I personally have always loved them for casual wear, but want to make sure I'm not a toolbag by doing so.
--Chris

A: Ralph Lauren makes some fine clothing, but why choose a logoed item that's so ... very ... common? So you can look like that middle manager with the penny loafers and Blackberry hanging from his belt? Wait a minute, that's the office calling.

Save yourself $25 and get into something like this slim-fit, unlogoed polo from Barney's Co-Op. No popped collar, and you can show off more of your hard-earned biceps.
posted:
7.2.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- Colchester Sneakers
Q: Check out these sneakers I bought last month -- http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=133807945. Interesting history leading up to the development of the shoe. Ok or lame?
--Scott

A: Oh, don't be so coy. You got a pair of the original basketball shoe (yes, before Converse), available only in Japan and obscure trade shows, and you're asking us if they're OK or lame? Another reader who should be on staff, we reckon.
posted:
7.2.08
filed under:
- ask the MB
- sneakers
Ask the MB -- Cuffs
Q: I just picked up a new Boss suit with flat front pants. Before taking it to the tailor I was curious what the MB's opinion was on cuffing. Should one cuff only pleated pants or both pleated and flat front, and if so how much of a cuff should be put in place?
--Chris

A: There aren't many cuffs around the MB offices (or pleats), but we're not opposed to them (like pleats). A couple of suggestions if you decide to go that route:

Leg Opening: Cuffs work best on either something dramatically wide or dramatically narrow (pictured).

Cuff Depth: Cuff it like it's not an accident. 2" absolute minimum.
posted:
7.1.08
filed under:
- pants
- ask the MB
Dior Mist 1
via unitedshades.com. $203.00.
Ask the MB -- Will Smith's Sunglasses
Q: What sunglasses is Will Smith wearing in Hancock?
--Andy

A: Finally an easy one. Christian Dior Mist 1 in black. You need to be an especially magnificent bastard to pull these off. Or an alcoholic superhero.
posted:
6.27.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- Pinkie Rings
Q: In a March critique of an Iraqi insurgent's magnificent bastard-dom, you note: "Pinkie ring acceptable only if starring in Scorsese mob picture." With an astute sense of style, I think one could pull this off. I'm thinking Jude Law in The Talented Mr. Ripley (approx. 24 minutes in), with a jade/gold pinkie ring. In almost every situation, I would stay away from gold, but I found a similar ring in Egypt -- very simple and understated, with a small piece of turquoise in it -- if anything, more understated than the film. If done in good taste (not the least bit Rush Limbaugh-esque), would the MB endorse such a ring? Thanks.
--Colin

A: We'll see your Talented Mr. Ripley and raise you an Idiocracy (where writer/director Mike Judge puts everyone in Crocs), featuring 5-time Ultimate Smackdown Champion and U.S. President Dwayne Elizando Mountain Dew Hector Camacho, in a gold pinkie ring.

Let's keep jewelry to an absolute minimum.
posted:
6.26.08
filed under:
Original Penguin white cotton 'Golfing' t-shirt
via bluefly. $21.00.
Ask the MB -- Penguin Clothing Part II
Q: So I read your "missive" on Penguin clothing and was wondering what you thought about illustrated Penguin t-shirts like this one, featuring a guy teaching a woman how to play golf. Thanks.
--Pete

A: We like anything that demonstrates to the fairer sex the proper:

* grip
* stance width
* waist bend

For golf.

This question reminds us of the old joke about how you teach your girlfriend or wife how to play golf: A bucket of balls, a 1-iron, and a downhill lie.
posted:
6.26.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- Tucking In Shirts
Q: I like belts, but the only way to show one off is to tuck your shirt in. That works with some shirts, but not all. What shirts do you think can be tucked without looking bad? What thoughts do you have specifically on tucking polo shirts?
--Dustin

A: We have addressed this issue before to some degree with a post entitled "The Tyranny of the Untucked Sport Shirt," and demonstrated different ways of making "tucked-in" work in an MB way.

Regarding polos, sport shirt rules apply: use the shirt's length as a tuck-in guide. For example, the poor fella in the Tommy Bahama polo (top) needs to either tuck it or move down two sizes. Or better yet, change brands. On the other hand, the fitted D&G pique polo (bottom) demands to be untucked.

Make sense?
posted:
6.24.08
filed under:
John Varvatos Essex Thong
via Neiman Marcus. $135.00.
Ask the MB -- White Linen Suit
Q: I follow your blog religiously and I love the amount of fashion knowledge I gain. However I have a couple of questions, I have a very classy white linen suit that I am planning on wearing in a couple of weeks. I would like to wear it with some tennis shoes to complete my "laid back" look rather than some hard shoes. First, is this appropriate? Secondly, if so, what shoes do you suggest to piece along with an all white linen suit? Do you suggest some all white tennis shoes or something with color in it? I was looking for some shoes along the lines of some Vans or something similar like the Lacoste L34 tennis shoes. Please advise. Thanks!
--Noop

A: You sure you follow this site religiously? You've clearly missed our missive on linen. Noop, your proposed suit is a ticking time bomb. Within seconds you can go from artfully disheveled to looking like some homeless guy who got dressed outside the dumpster at Goodwill. Regardless, you will explode at some point.

At least minimize the bomb's collateral damage by not wearing Vans. Too '90s LA. Plain white tennis shoes can work, as demonstrated by Paul Smith (top). Your best bet though is a pair of sandals, like this option from John Varvatos, and a pedicure. June is pedicure awareness month, after all.
posted:
6.23.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- Penguin Clothing
Q: I am happy to see that Penguin is at least somewhat MB endorsed. However, much of their offering breaks the rule of logoed clothing -- is there a time and a place for the Penguin logo, or should I stick with their non-branded items?
--Mark

A: Toughest question we've received so far. Logoed Penguin duds were especially cool pre-2003, when you could only find them on ebay or at vintage clothing shops. Now that their rebirth is in its 6th year these items are much more common. Yet it's such an iconic brand, and they still make very good-looking (logoed) clothing it's a real MB dilemma.

Let's look to orignalpenguin.com for guidance:

ORIGINAL PENGUIN by Munsingwear became a staple among the masters of suburban leisure well into the 1980s –- worn by the likes of Arnold Palmer, Bob Hope, Bing Crosby and Richard Nixon.
Problem solved. Thanks originalpenguin.com!

Simply print out and then cut out the Magnificent Bastard Spinner below. Attach arrow to board with pin. Before you decide to wear your obviously logoed Penguin clothing, spin the arrow. If it lands on the hack comedian or Dick, wear something else. If it lands on the legendary golfer or legendary entertainer, wear the Penguin with confidence.

posted:
6.18.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- Class Reunion
Q: Dear MB: Over the past several months, I've come to trust your sense of style and taste. I'm curious to know if the MB is up for the challenge of applying your gift of knowing what's right and wrong in the world of style to the opposite sex. I'm facing my 20-year high school reunion this summer, which will be held at an upscale downtown drinking establishment (no VFW for this group). I'm tall (5'9") and thin in a healthy way. I want an ensemble that conveys success and looks good with a Tanqueray and tonic in hand, and doesn't scream Stepford wife or "I'm a suburban mom of two" (which I am). Do you think you can help?
--Cindy

Of course, dear.

Before we get to our outfit suggestions, a couple of important MB Class Reunion Principles to follow:

#1. Principle of Looking Like You Don't Give a Shit. Try looking like you don't take this event too seriously, like you and your husband were out for a casual dinner or gallery opening and then you thought, "Geez, isn't tonight my 20th class reunion?"

#2. Principle of Investing in Your Wardrobe. Don't waste a penny of precious clothing budget on something like a cocktail dress that you'll wear once. Class reunions are chock full of anticlimax. Splurge, but only on something that will likely be in style at the 30th.

And now on to the recommendations:

Pants: Denim, for sure. Not too tight, with a wide opening to allow the ballet flats (below) just enough room to peek out. For women we're partial to AG (pictured, $82.00 -- on sale) and Hudson, but denim is personal so go with whatever fits you best and makes you feel good.

Top: Something simple and updated, like this Vince sheer jersey tee. $48.00, via Barney's Co-Op. Cap sleeves will increase the already heightened drama of your long appendages.

Footwear: Ballet flats, of course. Consider making your shoes your statement piece (only one allowed per outfit), like these faux snakeskin lowcuts from London Sole ($155.00). Suitable for dancing.

Handbag: Pay tribute to one of the all-time greats (and simultaneously keep it casual) with this Yves Saint Laurent brown pebbled messenger bag. $632.00, via bluefly. There might even be room for a diaper and wipes in there.

Outerwear: What if it rains? Or if the event makes its way outside? Let Rag & Bone protect you from the elements, evening chill, and small talk with their Mac Trench. $585.00, via shopbop.

Accessories: Wow that wedding band of yours is serious business. Communicate your fun side -- you read this site after all -- with something whimsical (and affordable) like this blue lucite bracelet with cameo. $14.99, via Target.

Have fun and let us know how it goes.
posted:
6.17.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- Disneyland Trip
Q: Will be taking the family to Disneyland this summer. What shoe do you recommend that is 1) stylish but that a 40-something can wear, 2) comfortable as hell for walking and standing all day, 3) can take a soaking (for riding Splash Mountain or California River Raft ride), 4) won't break the bank. Afraid to wear the Franks as the soaking may ruin the suede.

A: Frankenclydes hold up well to water, but we see what you mean. You want something that can withstand not just Splash Mountain, but also the Great California Slushie Spill. Apply some OxiClean, toss 'em in the wash, and they'll turn out as good as new.

We're not quite sure what you mean by "won't break the bank" so we'll offer two options:

TOP: Really Magnificent Bastard
Converse by John Varvatos 'Jack Purcell' Sneaker, $94.95, via nordstrom.com.

BOTTOM: Slightly Less Magnificent Bastard
Men's Converse 'One Star' Oxfords - Blue, $29.99, via target.com.
posted:
6.16.08
filed under:
Ask the MB -- Cowgirls
Note: magnificentbastard.com was asked to guest-answer a question at trustyourstyle.com, a lifestyle blog run by the extremely angular designer Mary Jo Matsumoto. And here's what happened:

Q: While shopping this weekend I noticed a lot of tacky women's cowboy hats with crunched up brims in hideous colors. I would never judge a person for their personal style but hasn't this gone on long enough? Madonna wore one in a video 15 years ago and even back then it looked awful. Aren't two season of Rock of Love enough to finally end this travesty?
--Rita

A: What's wrong with judging a person for their personal style? It's a really great timesaver.

While we can't endorse tacky cowboy hats in hideous co