Magnificent Bastard

Monday, May 29, 2017



unsafe at any price

Unsafe if They Paid You: Rick Owens Knit Hat

Unsafe if They Paid You: Rick Owens Knit Hat

For many years we've promoted the Naderian/Corvairain Unsafe at Any Price category, but Rick Owens has upped the ante and may get us to soon create a new Unsafe if They Paid You tag with his pointy knit 100% wool hat.

At its most benign interpretation, it's an executioner's hat. At worst this is headwear favored by David Duke when it's chilly in New Orleans.

Earlier: Rick Owens' seemingly inexhaustible ability to create ludicrous menswear.

Unsafe at Any Price: DSQUARED2 Leather Jogging Pants

DSQUARED2 Leather Jogging Pants via East Dane, $1295.00
DSQUARED2 Leather Jogging Pants via East Dane. $1295.00.

DSQUARED2 Leather Jogging Pants

Were: $2,590.00
Now: $1,295.00

Things you should make out of leather: Briefcases. Golf bags. Wallets. Bondage gear. Bicycle seats. Shoes. Club chairs.

Things you should not make out of leather: Jogging pants.

We admit the senseless lack of utility is high here. A pair of leather jogging pants is essentially a sign to the world that says, "No, I have absolutely no intention of jogging today, or ever."

But when we try to picture JFK wearing these things, we can't do it. Paul Newman? Nick Nolte? Steve McQueen? Johnny Depp? Nope, nope, nope, nope — not even Johnny Depp. Jennifer Lopez' fourth husband, a 24-year-old back-up record producer named Ziqué? Yes! Now we are pretty sure such a creature does not actually exist. But his pants do, and these are them.

Unsafe At Any Price: Jil Sander Leather and Calf-Hair Collar

Jil Sander Leather And Calf-Hair Collar via Barneys, $147.25
Jil Sander Leather And Calf-Hair Collar via Barneys. $147.25.

We have been watching this Jil Sander collar for what feels like years now, wondering who might pay $1480, then $589, and now $147.25 for this item. On the one hand, we were conceptually intrigued by Sander's merchandising innovation — she was trying to appify or unbundle something that had traditionally been considered a part of a shirt or jacket rather than a standalone accessory. On the other hand, there was the item itself, which always made us think, "Damn. Somewhere, there's a really toolbaggy, circumcised leather jacket walking around." Now, months later, the snipped foreskin, er, collar, can be had for a 90% discount. And yet sizes S, M, and L are still available. Verdict: Unsafe at any price!

POURCAST

BETA

Negroni

The classic Negroni is simply equal parts gin, Campari, and sweet vermouth. You can do better.

  • 5 parts Plymouth gin
  • 2 parts Campari
  • 1 part Pimm's No. 1 Cup
  • 1 part sweet vermouth
  • 1 part dry vermouth
  • 2 dashes of orange bitters

Quick shake or stir and pour into chilled Martini glass. Garnish with an orange twist.


In-Depth Negroni Coverage:

Magnificent Bartender: Negroni

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