Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.
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 Q: I've been reading your site for quite a while now and have gotten some great advice. I know SpectacularBitch.com will be up and running soon, but I have a holiday issue. I would like to get my girlfriend a brown leather jacket for the holidays (she has been wanting one for a few months, but she is really picky). I was wondering what leather jackets SpectacularBitch.com would recommend.
--Stefano (MB-in-training)
A: Stefano, buying clothing for a girlfriend is not recommended. Buying clothes for a picky girlfriend? Hang on to the receipt.
Without knowing your gal's style, here are three options for three SB archetypes:
If She Owns Pearls (Classic)
Daryn Suede Hacking Jacket (Top)
This Ralph Lauren Black Label jacket was once $2498.00. It's now just $1099.00.
If She Thinks Snow-shoeing is More Than Just an Excuse to Buy Another Pair of Shoes (Outdoor Enthusiast)
Weathered Leather Peacoat (Middle)
$495.00
If She Might Cheat on You with Angelina Jolie (Bad Girl)
Mike & Chris Maurice Quilted Leather Jacket (Bottom)
$508.20
Good luck and let us know how it turns out.  posted:12.14.09 filed under: Made of 100% black sheep's wool, Cordarounds' Black Sheep Sweater is this year's most thoughtful backhanded Christmas gift. Exclusive, imported, and $125, it shows you care enough to give only the finest-quality mixed message. (By the way, mom, we'll take ours in a size L.) posted:12.4.09 filed under: via Costume National. $1214.00.For the Magnificent Bastard who you think has everything, we bet he doesn't have a wool cardigan lined with rabbit fur. We're pretty sure it's like carrying around the lodge at the Ahwahnee Hotel on your back -- it's that cozy and luxurious. Like the rest of Costume National's Fall 2009 collection, it's now 40% off. posted:12.4.09 filed under: 'Sweet Nothings'via In God We Trust. $80.00.These may be better suited for your mistress than your girlfriend or wife, but In God We Trust's Shana Tabor has come up with some exceptionally cheeky engraved heart necklaces. Consider these high risk/reward. Like a 490 yard par 5 with water in front of the green: a good birdie opportunity but could quickly turn into an 8. Call 718-388-2012 with questions or to place an order. posted:2.5.09 filed under: Q: I just started dating a truly Magnificent Bastard. But it seems he has everything! With Valentine's Day coming up, I'm at a loss as to what to get him (under $100 since we're new), any suggestions for an outside-the-bedroom present (he's already getting a bedroom present)?
--Jackie
A: Jackie, in this situation we have one simple rule to follow: Don't get anything that puts him in the position of overtly having to display or wear it; in other words be forced to answer the question, "Why aren't you wearing ______ tonight?" If he hates it, it can disappear into a closet or drawer and for all you know he uses it every day. This means no clothes or personal furnishings or any display-necessary housewares. So ties, wallets, thumb rings, and placemats are all out.
Poke around at a couple of our favorite four-letter design boutiques, Moss and Good. If you come up empty, visit your favorite antique shop and you're certain to find a one-of-a-kind MB-worthy item he doesn't already own. After a few minutes of Googling we unearthed this elk-horn corkscrew that isn't just an excellent addition to any bar, it distinctly foreshadows the "in the bedroom" present. posted:2.3.09 filed under:Stupid (Top): Twodaloo "supertoilet," for pre-coital (post-coital?), communal crapping. $1400.
Cupid (Bottom): Completely separate bathrooms. Priceless. posted:2.5.08 filed under:Stupid (Top): Mittens built for two, or "smittens." If there is anything more cheesy than this creation from knitwear designer Wendy Feller, let us know. On sale for $19.95, down from 45.00. Surprise!
Cupid (Bottom): Cashmere convertible mittens, also available in black, charcoal, green, navy, light blue, and yellow. Via Barney's. $150.00.
(Check back for more Stupid vs. Cupid.)
posted:1.30.08 filed under:Q: MB, I need you to recommend gift ideas for the boss under $50. Please!
—Rob
A: We're going to assume your boss is a dude, OK? (Duh!) Thanks for the question, and the following five things will get him a.) educated, b.) drunk, c.) entertained, d.) caffeinated, e.) saving the planet.
posted:12.19.07 filed under:After the success of the Magnificent Bastard Holiday Gift Guide, we've just completed the first-annual Mistress Gift Guide.
In the "for her love and affection" category, we're recommending a Pound Dog (top) and a Havanese (bottom).
Choose her gift(s) wisely. After all, she can wreck your life.
Enjoy. posted:12.5.07 filed under:
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