Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.
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Q: Coming off of a recent question about cardigans, is it alright for a MB to wear a polo under one?
--Ulysses
A: Hogan and Palmer provide some guidance here, and the look works off the course, too.
 posted:12.21.09 filed under: Q: When is the MB going to address whether to burn or wear proudly the Tiger Woods golf clothing attire?
--Jeff
A: Our policy has always been to burn Tiger Woods golfing attire whenever you encounter it. If someone's actually wearing it, though, call out "Fore!" before you start lighting any matches. posted:12.17.09 filed under:Q: I need to buy a new pair of magnificent golf shoes, but I don't really know where to look. Any ideas??? Thanks!
--Blake
A: Unfortunately golf shoes have followed in the footsteps of running shoes and gone all ugly space-age (top), when MBs just want the golf shoe equivalent of New Balance 574s (bottom).
It's difficult to offer suggestions in such a depressed golf shoe environment, but last season's Puma Club Shoe works and is on sale for $70. Also keep your eyes on eBay for Adidas and Puma models when they were cool, like back in 2008. posted:11.12.09 filed under:Not so MB: This ain't Wimbledon! White visor, white shirt, white belt, white glove, white pants, and white shoes (not pictured: white undies and white socks). Even Colonel Sanders (inset) knew enough to mix in a black string tie and pocket square.
Very MB: Newly-crowned PGA champion is 37 years old with a headful of dark hair and chooses the perfect headwear to highlight its existence. posted:8.17.09 filed under:Can this man -- dressed from head to toe in toolbag outfitter Oakley -- win the U.S. Open?
Unlikely. posted:6.22.09 filed under:Q: I'm always looking to swap out my golf gear for better, more MB-ish accessories (simplify, simplify, simplify). I am currently looking for the best golf bag and towel. What is the stylish gear the leggy-model in your banner is carrying?
--Your Supplicant, Kevin
A:
The Bag: The Original Mackenzie Walker. We guarantee this is the best golf bag you will ever own. It will also be the last golf bag you ever own. The only problem is that it's $735.00. But worth every penny, and probably a value if you consider you'll go through 4-5 ordinary bags in your lifetime.
The Towel: Available at every Ritz Carlton worldwide. Right next to the hand towels and washcloths. Anywhere from $179.00 to $3,700/night depending on room size and view. (Pictured: Ritz Carlton South Beach) posted:6.22.09 filed under: It's John Daly's *pants* that have the drinking problemQ: I recently noticed Phil Mickelson wearing golf shirts with shorter than standard short sleeves. As a guy with short muscular arms I would love to get shirts with these extra short sleeves. Where does he get them or are they made special for him?
--Ron
A: Phil Mickelson has a large endorsement deal with Callaway, so it's a very safe bet they make his shirts. And, being the #2 player in the world, he can get Callaway to make anything he wants. (Though someone at Callaway should have the courage to tell Phil to add a little material around the torso. It's looking increasingly sausage-like, with a side of manboobs.)
Anyhow, we strongly endorse shorter sleeves on polos, especially if you have pipes worthy of display. The sleeve length on many of today's golf shirts, one can't tell if they're short long-sleeves or long short-sleeves (see John Daly at last week's St. Jude Classic). But don't make this a big concern. You can have your golf shirt sleeves shortened to taste by a tailor for $10-$15. And if you're cursed with Mickelson's waistline, try to find a tailor who moonlights as a plastic surgeon. posted:6.17.09 filed under: Q: What is the MB stance on drinking beer on the golf course? I like beer as much as the next guy and have been known to enjoy a beer during a round. But I turned a buddy down during a recent round when he asked if I wanted one. Aside from any possible negative effects on my score, the reason was that I realized that about 95% of the people I see drinking beer on the course exhibit all the symptoms of a toolbag (cargo shorts, untucked shirts, Oakleys, taking way too long, etc.). So I came to the conclusion that, while drinking beer while playing may not be inherently toolbag, it becomes toolbag by association.
So what says the MB? Is drinking beer on the course ever acceptable? If not, is there an acceptable alternative alcoholic beverage?
--Brett
A: Brett, you started off by asking a question, and then, after some toolbag observation and deductive reasoning, answered it on your own, correctly. Well done. As for Part 2 of your question, we never drink on the golf course as it negatively affects performance, again, as you observe. However, once we putt out on 18 it's a stampede to the bar that's sometimes a potentially life-threatening The Who-like experience. posted:6.1.09 filed under:We're all in favor of bringing back some '70s style to the course -- the MB in the header photo is wearing vintage flowered Lilly Pulitzer shorts -- but Scott Woodsworth's Loudmouth Golf is an homage gone horribly wrong:
Top: John Daly at the BMW PGA Championship at the Wentworth Club, England, over the weekend in Loudmouth Golf's "Disco Balls" pants. Looks like a clown's pajamas.
Bottom: The "Chicks Dig Loudmouth" photo gallery is a toolbag extravaganza. posted:5.26.09 filed under: Q: Well I went looking for the Dassler Kapitans (from the post on April 27, 2009) at Puma's site and they only have one size...for people with very small feet. Guess I missed the window on those. Any suggestions for a comparable alternative? Also, what is the shoe the MB has on in the current header, out of curiosity?
--Gregory
A: Too bad on the Kapitans. There are a couple pair in larger sizes available on ebay for only $83.11, but in a lighter brown. Also, keep your eyes open on store.puma.com because they do restock.
For a substitute, take a look at the Roma Re-Luxe which is available in many sizes at Zappos. We've probably said this before, but Puma is redefining men's footwear, and we're totally on board. Now men just need more things to wear these with besides denim.
Regarding the golf shoes the MB is wearing in the header photo, they're Adidas "modo Delmar," and are widely unavailable. One thing we've learned about Adidas golf shoes, if you find a pair you like, buy a half-dozen of them because they will be completely gone the following season. posted:5.13.09 filed under:Q: I agree with the no t-shirts and sport coats philosophy, but what about sport coats and polo shirts? I have seen some people doing it, but I'm still not sure what to think about the look yet.
Thank you for this site, you are helping me become a better person.
--Tom C.
A: We're OK with it during the same timeframe as white jeans. If, however, you can handle your nerves on Sunday at the Masters, you have permission all year round.
From top:
* Doug Ford and Arnold Palmer (1958)
* Tom Watson and Gary Player (1978)
* Bernhard Langer and Jack Nicklaus (1986)
* Vijay Singh and Tiger Woods (2001) posted:4.28.09 filed under:During yesterday's coverage of the Verizon Heritage, CBS did a small promo piece for hillbilly PGA tour player Boo Weekley's new clothing line. From the man who last year used the front bunker at 18 at Harbour Town Golf Links as spittoon (top), next time tee it up with the "Boo" jersey stretch long sleeve mock neck in "mossy oak duck blind" print (middle).
In other news, winner Brian Gay took a 3-shot lead into Sunday. You reckon tournament organizers could've found a tartan plaid jacket within 3 sizes for the likely winner? Sheesh. posted:4.20.09 filed under:Yesterday Kenny Perry nearly defied all odds and became the oldest (and least stylish) man to win a major. But, alas, no:
From top to bottom:
* Split hem pants with the equivalent of running shoe golf shoes. Leave this European-style pant hem to those who can execute it, like Ian Poulter.
* Excessive wrist, hand, and visor accessorization. Wedding ring negatively affects grip pressure.
* Plastic green tee. No joke! Gross violation of the principle of organic materials.
* Toolbag caddy Fred Sanders. Seals the deal.
Winner? Angel Cabrera. posted:4.13.09 filed under:The primal scream is the same, the fist pump is toned down a bit, and Tiger Woods is thankfully back to wearing collard shirts on Sundays instead of the skin-tight mock turtleneck. Phil Mickelson, please take note. posted:3.30.09 filed under:Q: I'm unclear on your turtleneck position. Are saying it was only ok in 1968 and for chaps much more MB than I'll ever be? I have a navy tall mock turtleneck (taller than a mock but not enough to fold over) that I love. Not MB?
--Scott
A: We're saying McQueen, Player, and Newkirk helped make the turtleneck forever cool. If you don't have enough material to fold over, or let flop down in an artfully disheveled way, then you ought to keep it in your closet. Or perhaps burn it. Anything even veering towards mock should be avoided or you might start looking like Tiger Woods. And that ain't good. posted:11.14.08 filed under:Q: Does the MB have a white leather belt in his quiver? I have noticed a trend in fashion to don the WLB with certain styles or retro. Your take?
--Stephen
A: Yessir, an MB has one of these arrows in his closet, and it's especially appropriate on the golf course/retro. It's not the easiest to pull off, but if there's doubt just think of Johnny Miller in 1976 on his way to a British Open title. posted:11.14.08 filed under:The winner -- total toolbag Paul Azinger -- is wearing a mock turtleneck. The loser -- MB-ish Nick Faldo -- in an artfully disheveled collared shirt.
It's one thing for Mr. Azinger to be unstylish -- that's par for the course with him -- but does he need to dress up the entire team in that awful outfit?
In spite of the lopsided victory, that photo will not stand the test of time. In 20 years people won't be looking at the winning 2008 Ryder Cup team and say, "Geez, those guys really had style back then." Exactly the opposite. posted:9.23.08 filed under:The Shark's signature final-round folds remain the same, but thankfully his wardrobe has changed. Eschewing bright colors and patterns in favor of neutrals, now he chokes in style. Might this style evolution be the influence of new bride Chris Evert?
Top: Norman at his last triumph in 1993 at Royal St. George's, looking quite peculiar
Bottom Left: Norman on Saturday in white polo with ivory cashmere v-neck
Bottom Right: Norman on Sunday in black-on-black
posted:7.21.08 filed under: via bluefly. $21.00.Q: So I read your "missive" on Penguin clothing and was wondering what you thought about illustrated Penguin t-shirts like this one, featuring a guy teaching a woman how to play golf. Thanks.
--Pete
A: We like anything that demonstrates to the fairer sex the proper:
* grip
* stance width
* waist bend
For golf.
This question reminds us of the old joke about how you teach your girlfriend or wife how to play golf: A bucket of balls, a 1-iron, and a downhill lie. posted:6.26.08 filed under:Just look at the poor fella's outfit:
1. Mock turtleneck collar. The Tiger Woods influence; not just ugly but inappropriate for the golf course, or in public.
2. Shirt sleeve ambiguity. Are these long short sleeves or short long sleeves?
3. Unfortunate color choice. If you have sweat gland issues (it was just 83 degrees yesterday in Ponte Vedra Beach, FL) stick to white;
nothing even remotely dark allowed.
4. Double-pleated pants. Not pictured. posted:5.12.08 filed under:Q: Where do you suggest I wear my flag pin? I thought the flag belonged on a pole. Am I wrong? Will the MB be wearing a flag pin? Is it different positions for men and woman?
--Larry
A: Our flag pins are sitting in a display case somewhere. 40% off!
MBs love their country as much as the next guy, and certainly don't need a lapel pin to remind themselves, and others.
Someone pass the memo to CBS Sports/CBS News President Sean McManus, who forces every one of his network's sports broadcasters to flag-up, except if you're Englishman Nick Faldo. posted:4.22.08 filed under:The new, unshaven face of the PGA Tour is Boo Weekley, tobacco-chewin' good ol' boy who lives in a mobile home. A few startling images from Sunday's final round:
Top: 2-day growth more appropriate for final round of bass fishing tournament.
Middle: Upon victorious approach to the 72nd hole, uses front bunker at 18 at Harbour Town Golf Links as spittoon.
Bottom: CBS's stock video shows Weekley in camouflage hat, which doubles for shootin' squirrels
and other critters.
posted:4.22.08 filed under:Q: MB: Ball caps? Nope, never worn them. Flip it backwards? Are you kidding me? Visors? Yup. Wear 'em. Even feel like a bastard at times. How 'bout you? Visors? I'm talking on the golf course, and off.
--C.D.
A: The highly-destructive Tiger Woods Apparel Effect has contributed to making visors quite rare these days. MB strongly endorses them, but only when both of these rules are met:
1. You're on a golf course, and
2. You've got the locks to show off.
(Clockwise from upper left: Fred Couples, Trevor Immelman, Phil Mickelson, Tommy Armour III.) posted:4.7.08 filed under: P.F. Chang's Marketing VP Should be FiredThe Masters is the official start of golf season, though it's never too early to add to the list of World's Worst-Dressed Golfers. Congratulations to Briny Baird for vaulting into 2nd place, right behind clubhouse leader Jim Furyk.
Greg Norman is the only player in history to successfully pull off the straw hat, and we've already demonstrated the career-limiting effect of the popped collar. To no one's surprise, Briny Baird has never won an event in 253 PGA Tour starts.
(Also on the Worst Dressed list: Tiger Woods, Arron Oberholser, and Rory Sabbatini Coming soon: World's Best Dressed Golfers.) posted:3.31.08 filed under:Jeers to Saks Fifth Avenue for letting this one go out the door:
1. Left-handed golf club not the best option for right-handed golfer.
2. Cross-handed grip typically only used for putting stroke, not bunker shot.
3. Caddy/domestic partner laying in bunker an obvious 2-stroke penalty.
posted:3.12.08 filed under:Two weeks ago Phil Mickelson surprised the golfing world by unveiling a synthetic black mock turtleneck at the FBR Open (top). Surprising because he's lost some of his trademark man-boob look, but also because he copied the dreadful, un-MB synthetic mock turtleneck look of his nemesis, Tiger Woods. Mickelson promptly lost in a playoff to J.B. Holmes.
Yesterday, Mickelson shrugged off the shirt's bad luck -- and awful style -- again wearing the synthetic black mock turtleneck, and won by two shots at Riviera. posted:2.18.08 filed under:With his horrifically ugly and post-peak skull belt buckle, South African Rory Sabbatini hereby joins Tiger Woods, Jim Furyk, and Arron Oberholser as one of the PGA Tour's Worst Dressed Golfers. posted:1.14.08 filed under:Q: What's your view on popping your collar? More specifically with polo shirts? Is it ever alright or is it a bad idea? Thanks MB.
— Tom
A: Well Tom, your question is answered simply by observing Phil Mickelson's career.
Top: In 1991, as a 20 year-old amateur with a popped polo shirt collar, Phil Mickelson won the Tucson Open and had to don that ridiculous conquistador's golden helmet.
Bottom: 13 years later, with an un-popped polo shirt collar (not to mention flat front pants), Phil Mickelson wins The Masters and slips into a green jacket. posted:10.4.07 filed under:It wasn't just man vs. boys on Sunday at the FedExCup championship, it was man vs. slob. While Woods looks like he could play strong safety on Sundays, Mark Calcavecchia looks more like head coaching material.
Related item: Tiger's Style Trainwreck. posted:9.15.07 filed under: 'Crap, I Just Drove My Style Out of Bounds By Being a Whore for Dockers®'Jim Furyk and Tiger Woods lead the Magnificent Bastard field of World's Worst-Dressed Golfers, but Arron Oberholser is making a hard Sunday charge with his tapered, creased pants and short/long-sleeve mock turtlenecks that look like underwear.
Arron's "ace-in-the-hole" to make the forthcoming MB Worst-Dressed Top 10, and style indignity par excellence: he's the Official Dockers® Golf Guy. posted:8.24.07 filed under: via coolestshop.com. $99.00.Probably best suited for low single-digit handicaps, whose swing will be seen from 4 fairways over, coolestshop.com is closing out this Rosasen argyle, now just $99.00. posted:8.7.07 filed under: PJs on the PGA tourRecently we called Tiger Woods the world's 2nd-worst-dressed golfer, and a few people emailed wondering who's No. 1 (so to speak).
Almost on cue, Jim Furyk wins the Canadian Open yesterday, in double-pleated pants and his signature tucked-in camp shirt that looks like pajama tops.
We're wondering where one can even buy something like that, besides the sleepwear section at Macy's. posted:7.28.07 filed under: 2nd-Worst-Dressed GolferTiger Woods, the world's best golfer and 2nd-worst-dressed, continues to unleash his and Nike, Inc.'s abominable "style" on the golfing world. Johnny Miller, Chi Chi Rodriguez, Arnold Palmer — if they were all dead — would be rolling in their graves. Stay tuned (to ABC) over the weekend to see the latest Nike synthetic mock turtleneck styles. posted:7.20.07 filed under:
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