ask the MB

Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.

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channel: golf
  • Ask the MB: Turtleneck Clarification

    Ask the MB: Turtleneck Clarification

    Q: I'm unclear on your turtleneck position. Are saying it was only ok in 1968 and for chaps much more MB than I'll ever be? I have a navy tall mock turtleneck (taller than a mock but not enough to fold over) that I love. Not MB?
    --Scott

    A: We're saying McQueen, Player, and Newkirk helped make the turtleneck forever cool. If you don't have enough material to fold over, or let flop down in an artfully disheveled way, then you ought to keep it in your closet. Or perhaps burn it. Anything even veering towards mock should be avoided or you might start looking like Tiger Woods. And that ain't good.

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    11.14.08

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  • Ask the MB: White Leather Belt

    Ask the MB: White Leather Belt

    Q: Does the MB have a white leather belt in his quiver? I have noticed a trend in fashion to don the WLB with certain styles or retro. Your take?
    --Stephen

    A: Yessir, an MB has one of these arrows in his closet, and it's especially appropriate on the golf course/retro. It's not the easiest to pull off, but if there's doubt just think of Johnny Miller in 1976 on his way to a British Open title.

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    11.14.08

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  • What's Wrong With This Picture?

    What's Wrong With This Picture?

    The winner -- total toolbag Paul Azinger -- is wearing a mock turtleneck. The loser -- MB-ish Nick Faldo -- in an artfully disheveled collared shirt.

    It's one thing for Mr. Azinger to be unstylish -- that's par for the course with him -- but does he need to dress up the entire team in that awful outfit?

    In spite of the lopsided victory, that photo will not stand the test of time. In 20 years people won't be looking at the winning 2008 Ryder Cup team and say, "Geez, those guys really had style back then." Exactly the opposite.

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    9.23.08

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  • Greg Norman Loses in Style

    Greg Norman Loses in Style

    The Shark's signature final-round folds remain the same, but thankfully his wardrobe has changed. Eschewing bright colors and patterns in favor of neutrals, now he chokes in style. Might this style evolution be the influence of new bride Chris Evert?

    Top: Norman at his last triumph in 1993 at Royal St. George's, looking quite peculiar

    Bottom Left: Norman on Saturday in white polo with ivory cashmere v-neck

    Bottom Right: Norman on Sunday in black-on-black

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    7.21.08

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  • Original Penguin white cotton 'Golfing' t-shirt via bluefly, $21.00

    Original Penguin white cotton 'Golfing' t-shirt

    via bluefly. $21.00.

    Ask the MB -- Penguin Clothing Part II

    Q: So I read your "missive" on Penguin clothing and was wondering what you thought about illustrated Penguin t-shirts like this one, featuring a guy teaching a woman how to play golf. Thanks.
    --Pete

    A: We like anything that demonstrates to the fairer sex the proper:

    * grip
    * stance width
    * waist bend

    For golf.

    This question reminds us of the old joke about how you teach your girlfriend or wife how to play golf: A bucket of balls, a 1-iron, and a downhill lie.

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    6.26.08

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  • Why Paul Goydos Had No Chance of Winning the Players Championship

    Why Paul Goydos Had No Chance of Winning the Players Championship

    Just look at the poor fella's outfit:

    1. Mock turtleneck collar. The Tiger Woods influence; not just ugly but inappropriate for the golf course, or in public.

    2. Shirt sleeve ambiguity. Are these long short sleeves or short long sleeves?

    3. Unfortunate color choice. If you have sweat gland issues (it was just 83 degrees yesterday in Ponte Vedra Beach, FL) stick to white; nothing even remotely dark allowed.

    4. Double-pleated pants. Not pictured.

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    5.12.08

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  • Ask the MB -- Flag Pins

    Ask the MB -- Flag Pins

    Q: Where do you suggest I wear my flag pin? I thought the flag belonged on a pole. Am I wrong? Will the MB be wearing a flag pin? Is it different positions for men and woman?
    --Larry

    A: Our flag pins are sitting in a display case somewhere. 40% off!

    MBs love their country as much as the next guy, and certainly don't need a lapel pin to remind themselves, and others.

    Someone pass the memo to CBS Sports/CBS News President Sean McManus, who forces every one of his network's sports broadcasters to flag-up, except if you're Englishman Nick Faldo.

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    4.22.08

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  • PGA Tour Goin' White T?

    PGA Tour Goin' White T?

    The new, unshaven face of the PGA Tour is Boo Weekley, tobacco-chewin' good ol' boy who lives in a mobile home. A few startling images from Sunday's final round:

    Top: 2-day growth more appropriate for final round of bass fishing tournament.

    Middle: Upon victorious approach to the 72nd hole, uses front bunker at 18 at Harbour Town Golf Links as spittoon.

    Bottom: CBS's stock video shows Weekley in camouflage hat, which doubles for shootin' squirrels and other critters.

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    4.22.08

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  • Ask the MB -- Visors

    Ask the MB -- Visors

    Q: MB: Ball caps? Nope, never worn them. Flip it backwards? Are you kidding me? Visors? Yup. Wear 'em. Even feel like a bastard at times. How 'bout you? Visors? I'm talking on the golf course, and off.
    --C.D.

    A: The highly-destructive Tiger Woods Apparel Effect has contributed to making visors quite rare these days. MB strongly endorses them, but only when both of these rules are met:

    1. You're on a golf course, and
    2. You've got the locks to show off.

    (Clockwise from upper left: Fred Couples, Trevor Immelman, Phil Mickelson, Tommy Armour III.)

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    4.7.08

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  • P.F. Chang's Marketing VP Should be Fired

    P.F. Chang's Marketing VP Should be Fired

    Worst-Dressed Golfer -- Briny Baird

    The Masters is the official start of golf season, though it's never too early to add to the list of World's Worst-Dressed Golfers. Congratulations to Briny Baird for vaulting into 2nd place, right behind clubhouse leader Jim Furyk.

    Greg Norman is the only player in history to successfully pull off the straw hat, and we've already demonstrated the career-limiting effect of the popped collar. To no one's surprise, Briny Baird has never won an event in 253 PGA Tour starts.

    (Also on the Worst Dressed list: Tiger Woods, Arron Oberholser, and Rory Sabbatini Coming soon: World's Best Dressed Golfers.)

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    3.31.08

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  • Saks' Golf Shoot Gaffes

    Saks' Golf Shoot Gaffes

    Jeers to Saks Fifth Avenue for letting this one go out the door:

    1. Left-handed golf club not the best option for right-handed golfer.
    2. Cross-handed grip typically only used for putting stroke, not bunker shot.
    3. Caddy/domestic partner laying in bunker an obvious 2-stroke penalty.

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    3.12.08

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  • Mickelson Overcomes Shirt Selection, Wins

    Mickelson Overcomes Shirt Selection, Wins

    Two weeks ago Phil Mickelson surprised the golfing world by unveiling a synthetic black mock turtleneck at the FBR Open (top). Surprising because he's lost some of his trademark man-boob look, but also because he copied the dreadful, un-MB synthetic mock turtleneck look of his nemesis, Tiger Woods. Mickelson promptly lost in a playoff to J.B. Holmes.

    Yesterday, Mickelson shrugged off the shirt's bad luck -- and awful style -- again wearing the synthetic black mock turtleneck, and won by two shots at Riviera.

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    2.18.08

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  • Worst-Dressed Golfer Watch: Rory Sabbatini

    Worst-Dressed Golfer Watch: Rory Sabbatini

    With his horrifically ugly and post-peak skull belt buckle, South African Rory Sabbatini hereby joins Tiger Woods, Jim Furyk, and Arron Oberholser as one of the PGA Tour's Worst Dressed Golfers.

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    1.14.08

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  • Ask the MB

    Ask the MB

    Q: What's your view on popping your collar? More specifically with polo shirts? Is it ever alright or is it a bad idea? Thanks MB.
    — Tom

    A: Well Tom, your question is answered simply by observing Phil Mickelson's career.

    Top: In 1991, as a 20 year-old amateur with a popped polo shirt collar, Phil Mickelson won the Tucson Open and had to don that ridiculous conquistador's golden helmet.

    Bottom: 13 years later, with an un-popped polo shirt collar (not to mention flat front pants), Phil Mickelson wins The Masters and slips into a green jacket.

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    10.4.07

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  • Guess Who Won?

    Guess Who Won?

    It wasn't just man vs. boys on Sunday at the FedExCup championship, it was man vs. slob. While Woods looks like he could play strong safety on Sundays, Mark Calcavecchia looks more like head coaching material.

    Related item: Tiger's Style Trainwreck.

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    9.15.07

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  • 'Crap, I Just Drove My Style Out of Bounds By Being a Whore for Dockers®'

    'Crap, I Just Drove My Style Out of Bounds By Being a Whore for Dockers®'

    Meet the Dockers® Golf Guy

    Jim Furyk and Tiger Woods lead the Magnificent Bastard field of World's Worst-Dressed Golfers, but Arron Oberholser is making a hard Sunday charge with his tapered, creased pants and short/long-sleeve mock turtlenecks that look like underwear.

    Arron's "ace-in-the-hole" to make the forthcoming MB Worst-Dressed Top 10, and style indignity par excellence: he's the Official Dockers® Golf Guy.

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    8.24.07

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  • Rosasen 'Teddie' Argyle via coolestshop.com, $99.00

    Rosasen 'Teddie' Argyle

    via coolestshop.com. $99.00.

    Announce Your Presence With Authority

    Probably best suited for low single-digit handicaps, whose swing will be seen from 4 fairways over, coolestshop.com is closing out this Rosasen argyle, now just $99.00.

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    8.7.07

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  • PJs on the PGA tour

    PJs on the PGA tour

    World's Worst-Dressed Golfer — Jim Furyk

    Recently we called Tiger Woods the world's 2nd-worst-dressed golfer, and a few people emailed wondering who's No. 1 (so to speak).

    Almost on cue, Jim Furyk wins the Canadian Open yesterday, in double-pleated pants and his signature tucked-in camp shirt that looks like pajama tops.

    We're wondering where one can even buy something like that, besides the sleepwear section at Macy's.

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    7.28.07

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  • 2nd-Worst-Dressed Golfer

    2nd-Worst-Dressed Golfer

    Tiger's Style Trainwreck

    Tiger Woods, the world's best golfer and 2nd-worst-dressed, continues to unleash his and Nike, Inc.'s abominable "style" on the golfing world. Johnny Miller, Chi Chi Rodriguez, Arnold Palmer — if they were all dead — would be rolling in their graves. Stay tuned (to ABC) over the weekend to see the latest Nike synthetic mock turtleneck styles.

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    7.20.07

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