ask the MB

Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.

channels
channel: mock turtleneck
  • Anthony Michael Hall as Jim. Nice acid wash!

    Anthony Michael Hall as Jim. Nice acid wash!

    Ask the MB: Mock Turtleneck to High School Reunion?

    Q: I have a black mock turtleneck I want to wear under a dark gray /green suit. People says it looks nice but I want to be sure... The other option is a white shirt/no tie... It is for a HS reunion....The black turtleneck is slimming which draws me to it as well.
    --Jeff

    A: Jeff, we sense you're a new MB reader so we'll go easy on you. Are you out of your fucking mind? Ignore the "people" and wear the white shirt for chrissakes. Leave the mock turtlenecks for especially toolbaggy characters from classic Tim Burton fables. Also consider dressing down at least one notch and hopefully two. We're talking high school reunion here, not a job interview.

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    posted:

    12.1.08

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  • Ask the MB: Turtleneck Clarification

    Ask the MB: Turtleneck Clarification

    Q: I'm unclear on your turtleneck position. Are saying it was only ok in 1968 and for chaps much more MB than I'll ever be? I have a navy tall mock turtleneck (taller than a mock but not enough to fold over) that I love. Not MB?
    --Scott

    A: We're saying McQueen, Player, and Newkirk helped make the turtleneck forever cool. If you don't have enough material to fold over, or let flop down in an artfully disheveled way, then you ought to keep it in your closet. Or perhaps burn it. Anything even veering towards mock should be avoided or you might start looking like Tiger Woods. And that ain't good.

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    posted:

    11.14.08

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  • What's Wrong With This Picture?

    What's Wrong With This Picture?

    The winner -- total toolbag Paul Azinger -- is wearing a mock turtleneck. The loser -- MB-ish Nick Faldo -- in an artfully disheveled collared shirt.

    It's one thing for Mr. Azinger to be unstylish -- that's par for the course with him -- but does he need to dress up the entire team in that awful outfit?

    In spite of the lopsided victory, that photo will not stand the test of time. In 20 years people won't be looking at the winning 2008 Ryder Cup team and say, "Geez, those guys really had style back then." Exactly the opposite.

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    posted:

    9.23.08

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  • Ask the MB -- Steve Jobs

    Ask the MB -- Steve Jobs

    So what do you think of Apple founder Steve Jobs' sense of style? These days, he almost always wears the same outfit in public, consisting of: 1) black mock turtleneck; 2) jeans; 3) white or grey New Balance sneakers; and 4) iPhone. Is it just me, or does this technological visionary dress like a toolbag?
    --Evan

    A: We haven't specifically addressed Jobs' particular sense of "style," but your sense of the MB ethos is strong, Evan.

    - mock turtleneck
    - jeans. Poor Steve could learn about AG. That high-rise, tapered Levi's soccer-dad cut just isn't appropriate for a technological visionary. Or really anyone.
    - white New Balance sneakers
    - iPhone

    Verdict: total toolbag.

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    posted:

    8.1.08

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  • Ask the MB -- Steve McQueen in <em>Bullitt</em>

    Ask the MB -- Steve McQueen in Bullitt

    Q: Steve McQueen, Magnificent Bastard. Mock turtleneck. Bullitt. MB pronouncement, repealed?
    --Marcus

    A: Yes, Steve McQueen certainly was a Magnificent Bastard, but we can assure you that at no time in Bullitt did he wear a mock turtleneck. Open your fucking eyes and you'll see it's perhaps Film's Most Famous Real Turtleneck; a blue ribbed turtleneck sweater, shown underneath a tweed blazer (top).

    Overshadowed by the famous turtleneck was McQueen's demonstration of how to nail a chunky shawl collar cardigan with woven shirt (bottom).

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    posted:

    5.19.08

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  • Something is Rotten in North Carolina

    Something is Rotten in North Carolina

    During last night's broadcast of the championship game:

    Top: North Carolina player Tyler Hansbrough, receiving Naismith player-of-the-year trophy, wearing black mock turtleneck (with $199, 4-button pinstripe suit).

    Bottom: North Carolina coach Roy Williams, during halftime break, wearing black mock turtleneck (with $99 flecked wool blazer).

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    posted:

    4.8.08

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  • Tricots St. Raphael Mercerized Cotton Shirt via Nordstrom, $28.90

    Tricots St. Raphael Mercerized Cotton Shirt

    via Nordstrom. $28.90.

    A Moment of Clarity

    If the Magnificent Bastard Manifesto is a little, um, obtuse, then maybe this mercerized cotton mock turtleneck and double-pleated pants could provide a moment of laser-like clarity: Even if you're a model for Nordstrom, don't look like this poor sonovabitch.

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    posted:

    7.23.07

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  • 2nd-Worst-Dressed Golfer

    2nd-Worst-Dressed Golfer

    Tiger's Style Trainwreck

    Tiger Woods, the world's best golfer and 2nd-worst-dressed, continues to unleash his and Nike, Inc.'s abominable "style" on the golfing world. Johnny Miller, Chi Chi Rodriguez, Arnold Palmer — if they were all dead — would be rolling in their graves. Stay tuned (to ABC) over the weekend to see the latest Nike synthetic mock turtleneck styles.

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    posted:

    7.20.07

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