Magnificent Bastard

Thursday, November 27, 2014

flip flops

Ask the MB: Jeans and Flip-Flops

Ask the MB: Jeans and Flip-Flops
Q: Are you ever going to touch on the atrocity of wearing flip-flops and jeans together? Your silence suggests it is still appropriate attire as you pontificate pearls of bastardly fashion from your cozy West Hollywood cyber-cafe.
--Larry


A: Woah, Lar. There's actually a bit of a chill this morning on the terraced patio here at Urth Caffe on Melrose, warmed only slightly by an organic dolce espresso and the sight of Meg Ryan. Anyhow, we're from a small farming community in the middle of Wisconsin, and we say flip-flops and jeans are fine, but only if you've had a pedicure in the last 21 days.

Ask the MB: Resort Casual Suggestions

Ask the MB: Resort Casual Suggestions
Q: How can a 36 year old male dress in resort casual without looking too metrosexual, preppy or like a Tommy Bahama wanna-be?
--Mollee


A: From top to bottom:

Knit Shirt: Polo with sleeves that hit at about the middle of the bicep. No logos if possible, especially none with the name of your country club or a high-end public course he recently played. Be sure to follow the polo shirt button rule.

Woven Shirt: At least one in white, of course. Unpressed. Just take it out of the dryer and go. Not buttoned-down. If it's not specifically designed to be worn untucked, have him tuck it in.

Sweater: Fine gauge v-neck cashmere. Period. On cool nights have him toss this over the polo or the woven and let his shirt collar just do what it wants to do.

Pants: No pleats. No creases. No linen. Khakis with patch pockets are a solid choice. Only denim if it's dark and dressed up, like Theory. Shorts OK too, but when the sun goes down remember the rule: pants only.

Footwear: Plimsolls or Jack Purcells. Sandals or flip-flops (but only if they're made from organic materials).

The Feet Themselves: If he chooses the sandal/flip-flop route, remember this rule about feet: If you wouldn't put his toe in your mouth, you need to convince him to get a pedicure.


GQ Flops

We hope they're kidding
We hope they're kidding
This summer GQ recommended wearing plastic flip flops to a summer wedding. If you wear plastic flip flops to a magnificent bastard's wedding, prepare to be beaten to within an inch of your life with them.

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