ask the MB

Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.

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channel: ties
  • Robert Pattinson: Fashion Victim

    Robert Pattinson: Fashion Victim

    Twilight star Robert Pattinson successfully achieves artful dishevelment -- his hair secret: not washing it for 6 weeks -- but the rest is a bit of a trainwreck:

    Black on black on black on black looks like he may have picked this up at Hot Topic.

    Skinny tie a novel choice. In 2004.

    Skinny pants only serve to enlarge midsection/ass in unflattering ways.

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    11.19.08

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  • What We Can Learn From Joe Biden's Tie

    What We Can Learn From Joe Biden's Tie

    * It's blue. Like usual. Barack wears the red one. Thems the rules.
    * Symmetrical. The bad news: demonstrates a lack of creativity. The good news: his Senate desk is probably very clean.
    * Small knot. You know what they say about guys with small tie knots? Exactly. That, and a knot this small is only achieved with a very cheap silk version. In other words, likely fiscally responsible.

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    10.3.08

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  • Obama to Biden: 'You Wear the Blue Tie, I'll Wear the Red Tie'

    Obama to Biden: 'You Wear the Blue Tie, I'll Wear the Red Tie'

    Those apparently are the only two tie color options. (And of course only one suit option: navy with pleated pants.)

    Top: Obama and Biden together last Saturday, August 23.

    Bottom: Obama and Biden together last night, August 27.

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    8.28.08

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  • Mad Men, Indeed

    Mad Men, Indeed

    Advertising Age says AMC's hit show Mad Men has brought back the skinny tie and slim suits. Hello? We've been suffering through this thing for going on three years already. Consider it a trend you can safely avoid, now more than ever.

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    8.7.08

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  • Ask the MB -- Tie Extinction

    Ask the MB -- Tie Extinction

    Q: I am saddened to think that I will see two great things become extinct in my lifetime: the internal combustion engine and neckties. Richard Whitbread, marketing manager of Tie Rack, said: "Since the doom and gloom (bad economy) set in, sales of ties have picked up. We have seen a 10 percent increase in sales over the last quarter. When people start to be more concerned about their jobs, they start to smarten up. Also a lot of people are looking for jobs at the moment." What he forgets to mention is that necktie sales are 15% of what they were 15 years ago. That's such a huge decline, it leads me to believe that hasty Father's Day gifts and funerals make up the bulk of necktie purchases. In your opinion. will neckties go the way of knickers?
    --Eric

    A: We'd expect the increase in tie sales to continue. Also incoming for Fall 2008: flannel suits, long topcoats, hats of all shapes and sizes, and general black-and-whiteness.

    Top: Run on bank then.
    Bottom: Run on bank now.

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    7.16.08

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  • Macy's Confirms Improper Tie Width

    Macy's Confirms Improper Tie Width

    Since this site launched just over a year ago there have been doubts about our stance on skinny ties. Now that Macy's says "We love the skinny tie," it's a metaphysical certainty they're out.

    Also of note: 3-button suit jacket, preferred by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and other less-magnificent men.

    We won't lead you astray.

    (Thanks to reader William Schroeder for the photo submission. Thanks to Macy's for the informative and clarifying store display.)

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    7.15.08

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  • Dirty Harry -- Magnificent Bastard

    Dirty Harry -- Magnificent Bastard

    As he's about to kill Scorpio in 1971's Dirty Harry, Clint Eastwood's tie is askew 7.5° to the left, the precise amount of MB artful dishevelment in any vigilante justice situation.

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    6.9.08

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  • Ask the MB -- Tall Drink of Waiter

    Ask the MB -- Tall Drink of Waiter

    Q: I know that you have long heralded the death of skinny ties, and I mostly agree. However, a skinny (not too skinny, though) tie can be worn well in some situations. I am very young (18), very tall (6'4") and thin. Sometimes I like to wear a black suit with slim lapels and a white shirt and top it off with a slim black tie. Given my circumstances, is this really that bad? Can one not pull off the skinny tie with the right body and suit? Thanks.
    --Bo

    A: Waiter! Another round of Dewar's. Rocks.

    Bo, leave the skinny (even not too skinny) ties to guys like Zac Efron, who use them to appear 5'3" instead of 5'1". Use your God-given stature to your advantage, and try a play on scale, with a short, wide tie ... and a different colored suit.

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    6.9.08

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  • Skinny Ties -- Dead

    Skinny Ties -- Dead

    In their most recent issue, men's mag Details declares "Enough With the Skinny Ties." Men's site magnificentbastard.com called this in 2007. Welcome aboard Details! Now we'll patiently wait for GQ to finally get with it.

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    5.12.08

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  • George Clooney Starting New Trend: Wide(r) Ties

    George Clooney Starting New Trend: Wide(r) Ties

    George Clooney at the Los Angeles premiere of Leatherheads (opening today), not praying to the tired "skinny" god of GQ and Band of Outsiders, but, as you might expect from Mr. Clooney, doing his own thing. How refreshing, and MB.

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    4.4.08

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  • Ask the MB -- Windsor Knot

    Ask the MB -- Windsor Knot

    Q: Just a quick question regarding ties. I have read a couple of times that "skinny" is out, but what I want to know is what knot is the best. I was taught the 4-in-hand and have used that through out my business career but the popular one is the Windsor. Once tied can you really tell the difference?
    —Paul

    A: Obi-Wan has taught you well, but you are not a Jedi MB yet.

    In honor of Presidents' Day, surely you can tell the difference between the knot on the un-stylish Ronald Reagan (Windsor) and the stylish George Bush 41 (four-in-hand).

    We strongly prefer the four-in-hand to the Windsor, for at least four reasons:

    1. Windsor symmetrical. Violates the MB principle of artful dishevelment.
    2. Windsor requires extra steps. Violates the universal rule of Occam's Razor.
    3. Windsor best on spread collar shirts. And you know how we feel about spread collar shirts.
    4. Windsor (combined with spread collar) shortens, flattens an MB's neck. MBs prefer their necks lengthened and thinned.

    Stick with what your papa taught you.

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    2.18.08

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  • Ask the MB

    Ask the MB

    Q: Who can really pull off the bow tie these days? Can I?
    —KS

    A: Funny you should ask, because in their February 2008 issue GQ declares bow ties back, and recommends their readers buy them from -- where else? -- Band of Outsiders. (GQ publisher Condé Nast must have a financial stake in Band of Outsiders for how often they pimp their stuff.)

    Anyhow, we think this is bad advice. With a bow tie, you've got a much higher probability looking like a prick, dweeb, nerd, or clown (you pick which is which) than you do looking like 007.

    We suggest reserving bow ties for two occasions:

    1. Summer weddings (preferably in madras).
    2. Black tie.

    And one other thing: Never tie it symmetrically, even for black tie. It must be askew in order to satisfy the MB principle of artful dishevelment.

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    2.11.08

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  • Ask the MB

    Ask the MB

    Q: Am I a dork because I really want to start wearing an ascot? I'd like to think it would make this bastard even more magnificent.
    —MJ

    A: MJ, this is like being at the 2008 Summer Olympics, jumping off the springboard and trying a reverse 2½ somersault pike. With such a high DD (degree of difficulty), yes you might nail it (like Fred from Scooby Doo), but you're more likely to hit your head and require stitches (like Danny Noonan in Caddyshack).

    Ascots are one of those things where the following MB rule is applied: If you have to ask, forget about it.

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    1.14.08

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  • George Clooney Demonstrates the Death of Skinny

    George Clooney Demonstrates the Death of Skinny

    For a while we've been saying skinny -- especially skinny ties -- is over. Last night at the Critics' Choice Awards, George Clooney not only dealt skinny a death blow, he signaled the welcome return of wide.

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    1.8.08

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  • Someone Get <em>GQ</em> the Memo: Skinny is Over

    Someone Get GQ the Memo: Skinny is Over

    Just because GQ Editor-in-Chief Tim Nelson still wears skinny ties from Band of Outsiders, it doesn't mean it's OK to dress Josh Brolin up in one and have his readers think it's still cool. LY, baby; or, more precisely, 2006.

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    1.3.08

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  • Mountain and Sackett Wool Tie via Mountain and Sackett, $74.00

    Mountain and Sackett Wool Tie

    via Mountain and Sackett. $74.00.

    Hidden Gem: Mountain and Sackett Ties

    It took several hours of Google searches, but we've unearthed a domestic neckwear manufacturer with a great story and even better ties. Handmade in Manhattan since 1957, Mountain and Sackett is currently making the best wool ties we've seen, and they're just $74. Plus, now that "skinny" (jeans, ties, lapels, wallets) is as dead as a damn doornail, their bold 3 3/4" width adds additional style points.

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    12.18.07

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