Editor's Note: We've never fully bought into all of Thorstein Veblen's ideas regarding conspicuous consumption, but if there's one thing the man taught us, it's this: Early 20th century sociologists know a thing or two about artful dishevelment, and so do their 21st century descendents. Herewith, a letter from an MB reader and sociologist who points out a few facts all MBs and aspiring MBs should keep in mind. Of course, if you're still stumped about what color lenses to get for your white sunglasses, don't be afraid to write for advice. That's what we're here for.
As an honest to god sociology professor, let me field this one. The nervous crowd is nervous because they have yet to realize one of the most important parts of being an MB is individuality. You can't be an MB by simply copying other MBs, you've got to figure out what works for you personally, given your personality, your build, and your budget.
It's right there in the header - the site is a helper, a friend, and an advisor. It is not a stone tablet and it is not the Pope (obviously; the Pope is totally trying too hard -- TTH). Indeed, readers who think their every move has to be MB.com approved should check the footer, too. Sometimes you gotta spread your wings and fly around outside the nest, you know? --Sid
I read and enjoy your blog daily. Many thanks for great advice and especially the great laughs.
I note your reference to "The Fine Art of Mixing Drinks" by David Embury. Another book that should be on hand at every MB's personal bar is "Everyday Drinking: the Distilled Kingsley Amis". The book discusses everything from cocktails to hangovers to dealing with boorish louts. --Dino
Dear MB, I am a woman who has had PF (Plantar Fasciitis) issues on and off for fifteen years and my darling MB husband developed symptoms several years ago when he began running seriously. Let me tell you now: the ONLY things that will help your PF are 1) podiatrist-prescribed orthotics (be warned, you will need to start buying shoes 1/2 size larger; 2) serious, daily calf stretching; and: 3) a night splint. Go to heelspurs.com for more info. Wearing Crocs, is, well, a croc, and flippin' butt-ugly and non-MB to boot. (By the way, the reason my symptoms have come and go over the years is because I am a runner, and because orthotics don't really fit into strappy heels. The MB HB hasn't had any problems since he started serious calf-stretches at the gym.) --Dru
A: Blessed with absolutely perfect feet, we admit we were treading on unfamiliar ground with our recent foray into feet healing. In any case, we are relieved to hear Crocs are as medically worthless as they are aesthetically painful. Even recommending them in a half-hearted, ironic manner was giving us a headache not even a constant Dewar's IV drip could cure. Thanks for enlightening us.
I know you guys are fans of Yoox. I just thought you'd like to know they are having a great sale rignt now, and I was able to find a coupon (green@yoox) for an extra 5% off. Got these Prada loafers for $185! Thanks for making me aware of the site. --Matthew
You're welcome. That sale is pretty damn good (though everything is final sale). All hail the recession!
Even the architecture of Oakley corporate HQ says toolbag. At least they're consistent: http://oakley.com/about --BBC
A: It doesn't just say it, it screams it. This looks like something out of a dystopian future world as portrayed in Idiocracy. Unfortunately this is real.
I just wanted to point out a video of a recent public appearance of Vanilla Ice at a Denver Nuggets halftime show. Not only is it basketball (see recent post about ball size), Mr. Ice appears to follow every rule for looking (and acting) like a complete toolbag. --Joshua
A: We are working on a new feature that examines toolbags through the ages, from the cavemen to the guys on Tool Academy, and we've discovered in our research that Vanilla Ice should get special merit for reinventing himself several times, yet having his essential toolbaggery always shine through.
Please accept my nomination for TOW (Toolbag of the Week). Kevin Jonas, of the Jonas Brothers tucked his jeans into his rather feminine looking boots AND is wearing a shawl collared sweater with ghastly patches, stripes and a soccer player design on the breast. --Matt
A: Matt, this may qualify as TOY (Toolbag of the Year). The worst part of this ensemble is the Lamborghini. It screams TTH. The principle of artful dishevelment extents to an MB's automobile. Kevin Jonas might've even made those boots work had he arrived in a rusty '81 Chevy Caprice.
(Again, someone please explain why we're wrong about pant tucking.)
Just saw your post on running shoes. classicsportshoes.com is fine if you're content with "classic" shoe technology. For good looking shoes with the latest technology, you should take a look at Nike iD. You design 'em yourself, so you can tone it down as much as you want. You can even put a white Swoosh on a white background, so it's barely visible. --Miller
A: At the 1960 Olympics in Rome, Ethiopian Abebe Bikila won the gold medal in the men's marathon, running the race in bare feet. You trying to tell us that a few years of marginal technological advances in shoe design make a difference for the average 15-mile/week hacker? Shin splints are a small price to pay for style.
(The 2008 Olympic Men's Marathon is on Sunday, August 23 @ 7:30pm ET.)
Regarding scooters, I can't believe you missed this fine example of how to pull off the MB scooter look: riding double with Audrey Hepburn on the the back, Roman Holiday style. --Ray
A: Our oversight. Anytime Audrey Hepburn is riding with you on a scooter, you are automatically pulling off the scooter look.
Side note: If you can distract yourself from Gregory Peck's tie knot, check out Ms. Hepburn in an early version of gladiator sandals.
You have an uphill battle, my beloved MB. I offer you My Toolbag Weekend. In San Luis Obispo, CA for the 4th:
1) Short-legged 50-year-old man in long cargo shorts, orange crocs and Tommy Bahama Independence Day aloha shirt.
2) Tall man at dinner, every electronic device known to mankind, clipped to his belt with.... an electric blue carabiner.
3) Father of three teenagers, who know he needed to remove his ballcap upon entering the restaurant, so he attached it to the specially-made BALLCAP HOOK hanging from his belt, and lastly...
4) Ubiquitous TV ads for the buy-one-get-one-free amazing cell phone belt/car/shower clip. Only $10 while supplies last.
