ask the MB

Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.

channels

channel: facial hair
  • Ask the MB: No Facial Hair? Really?

    Ask the MB: No Facial Hair? Really?

    Q: No facial hair? Ever? So how do explain Brian Austin Green nabbing Megan Fox? George Clooney and Elisabetta? Pitt and Jolie? Surely these guys aren't toolbags. If they are, I have no chance at all.

    --TTH in Texas, Cash


    A: Just looking over our facial hair channel, and while we've definitely said no to age-inappropriate facial hair, we're not shaving zealots. (However, as beards now hit the peak of the trend curve -- with Brad Pitt now resembling The Dude -- we're heading more vigorously in the opposite direction.)

    About the couples you mention: Megan Fox (age 23) probably had a crush on Brian Austin Green (age 36) since she was 10 and he was on 90210. George Clooney is rich, famous, and handsome. Any one of those three is usually enough. Angelina Jolie? Ick!

    -
    posted:

    1.5.10

    filed under:

  • Ask the MB: Five O'Clock Shadow

    Ask the MB: Five O'Clock Shadow

    Q: Really enjoying your site. What's your view on facial hair? Specifically, the perpetual five o'clock shadow? I realize we are well past the days of Miami Vice, but I think you can be MB if you keep it neat (figuratively speaking) and pair it with an appropriate contrast (e.g. with a suit).
    --AP


    A: AP, we see where you're going with the contrast idea, but consider this: the reason why Don Johnson never quite looked right is that he was otherwise so perfectly styled -- you can practically smell his cologne from this photograph -- that the five o'clock shadow looked affected. Any man who can find time for highlights can certainly find time to shave.

    It works for Jason Statham, on the other hand, because it looks like he probably slept in those clothes, and reeks of cigarette smoke, bourbon, and possibly blood. Our recommendation: if you are absolutely nowhere near a razor blade for long enough to acquire stubble, then it's permitted (e.g. hostage situatons, elevator breakdowns, desert island plane wrecks.) Otherwise, shave or carry a big gun wherever you go, so it's clear you're not a gigolo.

    -
    posted:

    7.9.09

    filed under:

  • Age-Inappropriate Facial Hair

    Age-Inappropriate Facial Hair

    Typically a man becomes more MB with age, as he learns from earlier mistakes and takes on the patina of someone who's endured polar fleece and Dockers. An obvious exception to this rule is Kevin Costner, seen in the most recent issue of People sporting a soul patch.

    -
    posted:

    12.9.08

    filed under: