Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.
Welcome to the 3rd Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge, sponsored by our all-time favorite eyewear and sunglass outfitter, Allyn Scura.
The challenge: Identify the nine bespectacled or sunglassified MBs above and you will be entered to win a pair of Allyn Scura frames ($175 value) — like The Legend favored by reigning People "Sexiest Man Alive" Bradley Cooper — or a $100 credit you can apply toward any vintage frames Allyn Scura carries. It's entirely up to you.
To enter simply email email@example.com with the names of the men pictured, and in the unlikely event of a tie — this is the hardest contest yet — what they all have in common. One entry per email address. Good luck. The deadline for this contest is next Friday, March 9th.
Earlier: Bradley Cooper in a pair of Allyn Scura Legends with A-list-only blue lenses.
Update: Ben Aitkin correctly identified the MBs pictured above. Top to bottom, left to right:
Frank Lloyd Wright
He also got the tiebreaker correct (along with a bunch of other fellas): They were all born in Wisconsin.
What the others not do was get their name randomly picked from a Super Bowl XLV hat. Congrats Ben. Enjoy your new glasses from Allyn Scura.
We came across this photo of Randy Jackson at the 2011 Billboard Music Awards earlier this week and have been speechless ever since. Seriously, dawg, we're just not feeling it. By our count, Randy's only wearing eleven visible articles of clothing and accessories, and yet we see at least a dozen style misdemeanors!
If you can identify ten or more, send us an email by midnight CT on Memorial Day and we'll throw your name into a hat. On Tuesday, we'll pick one lucky winner, and that winner can pick one of these recommended Mountain and Sackett ties that are guaranteed, in their perfectly executed understatement, to add more style to your wardrobe than there is to be found in whatever extremely large vault Randy Jackson stores his vast collection of shiny baubles. Good luck!
UPDATE: Winner of the Judge Randy Jackson contest is Mark Delich, who offered the following 11 style misdemeanors:
1) Shiny pleather jacket with excessive pockets/snaps
2) Over-sized clock watch
3) Exposed crucifix on necklace
4) Multiple bracelets/cause wrist band
5) Over-sized wedding ring with stones
6) Soul patch
7) Graphic t-shirt with skull
8) Fat man wearing skinny jeans
9) Excessively glossy and pointy shoes
10) Diamond earring
11) Overall age appropriateness
We also would've accepted "fat man wearing skinny jacket," "flooded pants," and "legible clothing."
Ed. note: This contest far exceeded expectations. Thanks to all who entered and we'll do another one soon.
Brigitte Bardot vs. Pam Anderson is like sewn collars vs. fused collars
If you're looking for a custom shirt, you've got multiple choices these days. One of our favorites is Deo Veritas. To help celebrate its revamped website and streamlined ordering process, we're collaborating on a contest. All you have to do is take this short shirt quiz.
Entries that include all the correct answers will get thrown into a hat, and one lucky winner will get a Deo Veritas custom shirt of his choosing. That's right, any fabric, any options — the winner gets whatever he (or she) wants. In all, this represents a potential $195 value. So get right to it and take the quiz. If you're stumped for answers, here are some good places to look:
* Deo Veritas fabrics
* The Perfect Dress Shirt
* Deo Veritas Shirt-Maker Tool
* Deo Veritas FAQ
Deadline is 11:59 PM CT, Friday, April 22. Winner to be announced Monday, April 25. Good luck!
Typically, all we ask of a shirt here at MB is that it look good, be relatively maintenance-free, and refrain from making any lengthy remarks about Jesus or the local price of mustache rides. Read Wall, on the other hand, is more ambitious than us. You may have noticed his ad over there in the column to your left, the one pitching shirts that make the world smarter.
Read, it turns out, is a man with a dream, and that dream involves selling these three excellent shirts and using a portion of the proceeds to help fund a school in Tanzania. That sounded noble to us, and wanting to help out, we asked if he'd like to donate a shirt as a prize for one of our contests.
If you're wondering how us getting a free shirt to give to one of our readers qualifies as a noble gesture on our parts, well, what can we say? We're new to this altruism stuff. But Read agreed to our suggestion anyway, so if you want a shot at a shirt of your choosing, follow this link, and play a matching game about the accessorization trademarks of five notorious African dictators.
On Friday, March 4 at midnight CT, we'll put the names of everyone who answered everything correctly in our new Super Bowl XLV hat and name a winner on Monday, March 6. Pick any one you want (we're partial to the awesome jumbo-check navy gingham).
Just a reminder that the deadline to enter the Magnificent Bastard Eyewear Challenge is tonight at 11:59:59 CT. It's sponsored by the official MB eyewear outfitter, Allyn Scura.
One thing we forgot to mention when we launched the contest is that non-Rx lenses are part of the deal. So if you are a recent Lasik patient and just need a pair of shades, you can turn the AS Legend frame into a pair of sunglasses, like Bradley Cooper has done here.
As Malcolm Fontier founders Malcolm Fontier and Gabrielle Kennedy are testing their new line of bags by eating their way across Europe and are now likely busy foraging for grubs in the jungles of Congo, we're giving away their duffel, dubbed the "New Yorker." What do you have to do to enter the contest? Follow MB by midnight CT tonight (Friday, October 29). We'll pick a winner and announce the lucky Bastard (or Spectacular Bitch) on Monday.
Malcolm Fontier founders Malcolm Fontier and Gabrielle Kennedy are promoting their new carry-on, duffel, and tote by using them on a trip from the cafes of Copenhagen to the mud huts of the Democratic Republic of the Congo.
Magnificent Bastard is doing its part from its comfy offices in Wisconsin by giving away the duffel, dubbed the "New Yorker." It holds enough duds for an overnight trip (or weekend jaunt if you pack well) and a laptop, too. It's a $285 value. All you have to do to enter is follow MB. Entry deadline is Friday, October 29 and we'll randomly pick a winner on Monday, November 1. (While Malcolm and Gabrielle may be on an international trip, ya gotta live in the United States to claim this prize.)
Meanwhile, if you're like us and have sent your wallet to a fat farm, their Mojito is an affordable option ($29) that efficiently holds all you need: a couple of cards and few twenties.
A reminder to readers that it's the last day to enter the J. Fold "Trooper" Bag giveaway. Just follow @magbas to enter. On Monday we'll give twitRand(); a whirl to pick the winner. Direct message to that lucky contestant: you're gonna love this bag.
Also, before we're back on the air on Monday, the auction will have ended for a Season 5 Mad Men walk-on role, where the bid currently stands at $16,300. If that's a little rich, this blue Betty Draper dress is bid at $1,805. (FYI, January Jones is a size 2.)
Earlier this year we searched high and low for the fine-looking J. Fold Weekend Bag, but they were so hard to find we dubbed it the Lost J. Fold Weekend Bag. The explanation from the folks at J. Fold was they retired the bag because it usually weighed more than its contents, and convinced us to give the "Trooper" a try instead. Their new weekend model is made from leather and (lighter) coated cotton canvas, with a design based on standard-issue Soviet military bags from the '60s and '70s. While it's certainly not as masculine or elegant as, say, the standard-issue Soviet assault rifle, it's built as solidly as one, and has quickly become our favorite 48-hour road/plane-trip bag.
Why are we telling you all this? Because we've gotten our hands on another J. Fold Trooper Bag and we'd like one comrade to share our experience. No drink recipe or poem required to win this time. All you have to do to enter is follow MB on something called Twitter. Entry deadline is Friday, August 20 and we'll randomly pick a winner on Monday, August 23. (Sorry world, ya gotta live in the United States to claim this prize.)
Bag retail price: $219.00
Big bag pictures:
We've got a winner in the "Shoot the MB Masthead" bike giveaway contest, and it's Sarah V.'s entry which best captured the MB ethos. And it looks cool, too. Also, according to Sarah, she is actually driving the rickshaw. For her efforts she can choose from the Broncks Raw, the Broncks Black, or the Breukelen from contest sponsor Bowery Lane Bicycles.
Thanks to all who entered and stay tuned for the next giveaway: a J.Fold weekend bag.
Wish the box was big enough for a lab
We're taking Friday, July 2 off as we head to our various cabins even further north of our Pulaski, WI headquarters, so we want to remind you that's the deadline to submit an MB header photo to win a sweet bike from Brooklyn-based Bowery Lane Bicycles. It's nearly a $700 value. All entries must be sent by midnight CT. Winning tip: Get your girlfriend, wife, or mistress striking a pose on a bike. Good luck!
If you want a shot at a year's worth of free Magnificent Bastard Morning After Roast coffee -- a $495 value in all -- time's running out. All entries for our contest must be submitted by Monday, June 14.
The deal: create an homage to the MB Cocktail and send it to us. It could be anything really: a joke, a sketch on a bar napkin, whatever. Need inspiration? Here are a few samples below:
The Magnificent Bastard cocktail is foolish, even vile, but there's a certain nobility about it too. The MB cocktail is never mercenary. It's in search of an ideal. It has intellectuality, not mere sensuality. It is part of the irony of its fate that it is punished as much for its virtues as well as its vices. No, wait, that's Emma Bovary. The MB cocktail is just a really good drink. It's not as easy to make as, say, a Coke, but once you've tracked down all the ingredients, it's pretty easy. And here's a tip: There is no good way to pour 1/8 oz. of Laphroaig into a teaspoon when you're drunk. Or even when you're sober, unless you're a heart surgeon or something. So call your friends up and make them eight at a time. That way, you're using an ounce of Laphroaig, which is much easier to measure. Plus, you'll have eight times the fun.
Third MB cocktail
SAMPLE SAT ANALOGY
1.) SCOTCH : BOURBON : :
(A) Ed Hardy : Toolbags
(B) Grenadine : Bitters
(C) Sonny : Cher
(D) Apples : Apfelkorn
So go ahead and send us something.
For commuting and utilitarian riding we prefer platform pedals over clipless -- that way we don't have to change shoes when we get off the bike. But just because we're not clipping in doesn't mean we don't want shoes with some cycling-oriented features. Moving from dressier to more casual, here are four pairs we like.
1. Quoc Fam Fixed Shoe. $130.
A hand-crafted leather cycling shoe that looks as sleek as a Prada loafer, plus it comes with a super-complicated ten-step lace-tying guide? We're sold!
2. Dromarti Storica. $237.
We're not sure why, but these shoes make us think of vintage catcher's mitts, and we like that: Catcher's mitts for our feet, crafted by Italian designers. Do you want anything less when you're speeding through the city on two wheels?
3. Chrome Midways Sneaker. $90.
Chrome designs for the messenger demographic, so they know all the features it takes to equip your standard mid-top for heavy-duty bike usage: Reinforced shank to support the midsole, reflective material on the heel cup, a "lace garage" to keep your laces out of your chain, etc. Yep, "lace garage." It's that little elastic thing in this pic, and it works. Synthetics alert: The Midway is made from Cordura nylon. Normally we favor natural materials over synthetic ones, but if you want a tough, scuff-resistant shoe, this is the one to get.
4. Keen Coronado Bike Shoe. $80.
Here's a casual option made with canvas and nubuck leather. Like the Chrome Midway, it's also got a shank in the midsole for more pedaling power than you'd get with a traditional sneaker, plus a "a soft rubber forefoot pod for pedal grip." It sounds like marketing BS, but if you've ever experienced the banana-peel-like slip that can happen when you suddenly start pedaling hard on platform pedals while wearing shoes with slick and/or non-grippy soles, you know why this is important.
In honor of Bike to Work Week, we're giving away an awesome Bowery Lane Bicycles' bike. It's a $695 value and all you have to do is send us a cool picture.
Knickers are a great bike-to-work option if you work in a bike shop or play bass for a nu-metal revival band. But we like pants that at least flirt with our ankles.
Just a few years ago, casual bike-oriented pants that met this criteria were virtually non-existent. Now, there are more and more to choose from. They tend to be a little bit pricey because they're not produced in great quantities. But if you want a look that makes the transition from bike to boardroom as smooth as a seamless gusseted crotch, they're worth the investment.
1. Outlier 4Season OG Pants. $180.
Just like the Bowery Lane bike we're giving away, these pants are made in New York by skilled artisans. They're not made of steel, but they do repel water, dry quickly, stretch when you need them to stretch, and look great on and off the bike.
2. Nonetheless Dispatch Rider Pant. $188.
These pants are made out of wool and recycled plastic water bottles, which means you don't have to feel so guilty the next time you buy a liter of Fiji Water. Sure, you're adding to your carbon footprint by drinking water shipped from halfway around the world -- but you're also letting a sheep keep his coat a little longer! Life is all about balance. Other highlights we like about these pants: machine-washability, and "slimmer anti-sprocket leg openings."
3. Cordarounds Bike to Work Pants. $90.
By day, they're mild-mannered khakis. By night, thanks to strategically placed reflective material that emerges when you roll up the cuffs and turn the back pockets inside out, they light up like a Las Vegas casino. Or maybe that's overstating things a bit, so let's say a Reno casino. Either way, we're pretty sure they're going to be the brightest pair of pants in your wardrobe. Unless you're John Daly.
4. Swrve Indigo Denim Jeans. $100.
We don't advise riding long distances in jeans -- but with these, we feel like we could if we had to. Why? The seamless gusseted crotch, articulated knees, and touch of Lycra. For utilitarian riding, they've got pretty much every feature you could ask for -- cell phone pocket, reflective stripe at the cuff, low waist in the front and high waist in the back, and back pockets big enough to fit a mini U-lock.
HEY! We're giving away a brand spanking new ride from Bowery Lane Bicycles ($695 value) and all you have to do to enter is take a hot photograph with a bike (and preferably a girl) in it. Click for full details and then get art directin'.
via Bowery Lane Bicycles. $695.00.
It's Bike to Work Week, and to celebrate, we've decided to give away a hand-made steel bike from Bowery Lane Bicycles, a $695 value. If you'd like to win it, take a photo that's suitable for our masthead. It must have a bike in it. A pretty girl wouldn't hurt your chances either. Send it to us by June 18, and if we choose yours, you'll get your choice of Bowery Lane's current three models, the Broncks Raw (our personal favorite), the Broncks Black, or the Breukelen.
A while back, a reader introduced us to Bowery Lane. Based on the look of their bikes, we gave them a tentative thumbs-up, but a steel bike hand-made in the U.S for only $695 sounded too good to be true. Then we discovered that Bowery Lane's bikes are actually manufactured in a Brooklyn-based factory that has been making bikes in the U.S. for almost as long as bikes have been being made, i.e., 1898, and has a great reputation for producing durable, dependable bikes. The founders of Bowery Lane, on the other hand, come from apparel industry backgrounds, and count Ralph Lauren, Bloomingdales, Urban Outfitters, and Barneys amongst their former employers and current clients. That combination of bike industry experience and apparel industry style has resulted in a great-looking but functional line of one-speed city bikes, and we're excited to be offering one to one lucky reader in honor of Bike to Work Week.
See the complete contest details. Browse our previous mastheads to see the sort of look we're after. Dimensions are 960 x 253.
We're not great fans of work, but we do like bikes. So we've decided to celebrate Bike to Work Week (May 17-21) by giving away a bike from Bowery Lane Bicycles. The catch? You've got to do a little work for us. Check in Monday for complete details.
This month, we've got a new sponsor, Bull Run Roasting Co., and a new contest. In a nutshell, tell us what you think of the MB Cocktail and you can win enough of our new Magnificent Bastard "Morning After" Roast to keep caffeine coursing through your veins for a year. All in all, it's a $495 package, delivered in monthly installments directly to your home.
Based on recent news, this contest comes just in time. In Boston, Dunkin Donuts is sending coffee drinkers away empty-handed because of water issues caused by recent storms.
In New York, some place called Cafe Grumpy is charging $12 for a cup of coffee. (Sure, we'd probably pay $12 for a cup for coffee at Seattle's Cowgirls Espresso, but at a place where they might not even smile at you, that sounds a little steep.)
If you ask us, this is a great time to take your coffee habit completely into your own hands. So enter our contest today, and you may get all the coffee you need for an entire year (and a grinder and dripper, and two cool handmade coffee mugs, too).