Magnificent Bastard

Monday, May 30, 2016


See How Donald Trump Inspired the Sale

From the Shop ↷

Game-Day Belt

Facepainting & foam fingers are not you. A belt made of NFL football leather is. Understated fanaticism FTW!


Game-Day Luxury Box

Transport your game-day suds in style, on a carpet of AstroTurf & a handle made of NFL football leather


Secret Agent Belt

Look like a fictional British Secret Service agent for just $30.07


300-Year Sterling Silver Buckle Belt

Built to look great forever — even if you live to 300



dsquared2

Unsafe at Any Price: Denim Joggers

Denim Joggers via Uniqlo, $19.90
Denim Joggers via Uniqlo. $19.90.

If you want to shave a few seconds off the time it takes you to get that place where you're looking into your dresser drawers and saying, "What the hell was I thinking?", then by all means purchase these denim joggers, now 50 percent off at Uniqlo.

Even with their negligible cost — just $19.90 — we estimate that they will help you reach a state of bewildered regret approximately a half minute faster than you would had you purchased the far pricier Dsquared2 leather joggers we panned last spring, which at least have the virtue of clearly signalling to the world that you've got money to burn.

Unsafe at Any Price: DSQUARED2 Leather Jogging Pants

DSQUARED2 Leather Jogging Pants via East Dane, $1295.00
DSQUARED2 Leather Jogging Pants via East Dane. $1295.00.

DSQUARED2 Leather Jogging Pants

Were: $2,590.00
Now: $1,295.00

Things you should make out of leather: Briefcases. Golf bags. Wallets. Bondage gear. Bicycle seats. Shoes. Club chairs.

Things you should not make out of leather: Jogging pants.

We admit the senseless lack of utility is high here. A pair of leather jogging pants is essentially a sign to the world that says, "No, I have absolutely no intention of jogging today, or ever."

But when we try to picture JFK wearing these things, we can't do it. Paul Newman? Nick Nolte? Steve McQueen? Johnny Depp? Nope, nope, nope, nope — not even Johnny Depp. Jennifer Lopez' fourth husband, a 24-year-old back-up record producer named Ziqué? Yes! Now we are pretty sure such a creature does not actually exist. But his pants do, and these are them.

The Wartorialist: On the Street....Baghdad

Photo: New York Times
Photo: New York Times

Normally we steer readers who ask away from camo. But if there's anyone on earth who should be taking advantage of the collapsing camo market's post-peak prices, it's Blue Steel and Le Tigre here as showcased by this NY Times article. As ISIL runs unchecked across Iraq, shooting anything that moves, these guys are wearing electric vermillion and plaid? While we admire their commitment to style in the face of adversity — if not actually their style — we can't help but wonder about their choices. Even wrapping themselves in a giant matador's cape would be an improvement over their current outfits.

MB Bold Play: Dsquared2 Dark Wash Denim One-Button Blazer

D.Squared dark wash denim one-button blazer via bluefly.com, $1068.00
D.Squared dark wash denim one-button blazer via bluefly.com. $1068.00.
As designers continue to strip-mine the past for Depression-era chambray workshirts, the reactionary chic of sixties-era Ivy Leaguers who refused to turn in their madras for tie-dye, and even that 1980s JC Penney staple, the block stripe rugby, how come we see so little "1970s heritage wear"?

We doubt that's what Dsquared2's actually calling this magnificent blazer, but we see a canny, streamlined nod to the leisure suits of yore in this piece, and we like what we see. The contrast stitching, the way the oversized pockets perfectly echo the oversized lapel -- this thing isn't built for the ages but if you want to make a statement now amidst a forest of anemic lapels, this is your jacket of choice. Be prepared to put your money where your mouth is though. Even on sale, it's going to cost you a little over a grand.

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  • 1 oz vodka
  • 1/2 oz Lillet Blonde (Blanc)

Lightly shake, or aggressively stir, ingredients with ice, pour into chilled martini glass. Garnish with lemon twist or a blonde.


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