Magnificent Bastard

Monday, March 18, 2024



tth

Ryder Cup Hatgate: The Real Story

A hat with an icon is just fine, thank you.
A hat with an icon is just fine, thank you.

When the most exciting part of the 44th Ryder Cup was the hubbub around Patrick Cantlay not wearing a hat, you know it was a lopsided affair.

Was it because he was objecting to not getting paid to play?

Was it because, as Cantlay said, the hats don't fit his head?

Or, finally, as The Daily Mail reported this morning, was it because Cantlay is getting married today, and didn't want golfer's head?

No, no, and no.

Cantlay also didn't wear a hat at Whistling Straits in 2021, and presumably was not getting married then, too. Also, he's got no problem wearing hats at other team events (see President's Cup above), and adjustable baseball-style caps are not known to fit that differently.

It's because the hats are fucking ugly.

More specifically, it's the Team USA logo on the hats that's so fucking ugly. An inappropriately modern, excessively legible mark that looks like a mashup of NASA and DeLorean Motor Company.

Who can blame Pat Cantlay?



Our modest suggestion to The PGA of America Ryder Cup Committee for 2025: Stop trying so hard. Keep it simple. Use 100% fewer letters. Go with the flag. You already sell it in your shop.

Ask the MB: Blazer With Jeans

Whatever he does, don't do that.
Whatever he does, don't do that.

Q: Hi MBs: I'm returning to a (very casual-dress) office with a modest promotion this month, and I want to dress the part without trying too hard.

I have a fresh pair of dark wash APC Standard jeans I'd like to put to work here, so I thought could pair with a wool blazer, point collar shirt, and minimal PdO sneakers. Assuming I adhere to your aforementioned guidance on each of these pieces (I'm a devotee), what's the MB stance on blazer + denim pairings in 2023?
— Jack

A: Jack, congratulations on the promotion. Given your taste in web sites, clothing, and footwear, along with your strict adherence to core MB principles (never TTH), there is a C-suite position in your future.

We love this look. For 2023 and beyond. Wear it with confidence.

A couple of suggestions:

1. While we're fans of A.P.C. Standard jeans, we're reminded of the old A.P.C. denim joke: "You don't wear them. They wear you."

The A.P.C.s, combined with a wool blazer that's maybe ½ a size too small, can make you look (and feel) a little too "bound," striking a blow against artful dishevelment (and comfort). Sub some more forgiving denim once in a while.

2. Carry this look into spring/summer, where we think it works even better. Swap the wool blazers for cotton versions and flip the cuffs somewhat ineptly, mix in a pair or two of white 5-pocket pants/jeans, and expose your ankles. It doesn't get much better.

Canali Unveils the 'Shacket,' but We Already Own a Bunch

Light Grey Shacket via Canali, $1750.00
Light Grey Shacket via Canali. $1750.00.

Last week Canali announced the arrival of the "shacket," the sartorial fusion of a shirt and a jacket into a single piece of clothing.

While "brunch," "spork," and even "throuple" have nothing to worry about anytime soon, their new proprietary portmanteau does more efficiently describe, for the most part, an MB must-have: a slim-fitting, unstructured, unlined blazer with patch pockets, made of organic materials.

Key benefits include:

  • Quickly dresses up any outfit — but not too much — without looking like you TTH
  • More often than not, you can safely disregard any care instructions and simply throw it in the wash with your boxers
  • Since it comes out of the laundry, there's integrated artful dishevelment

We're really big Canali fans, but their original shacket will set you back $1,750. Here are a few other high-end made-in-Italy options that share the main ingredients, including the requisite 2 buttons and 3⅛" minimum-wide lapels.

Shacket Alternatives

Left to right:

Ermenegildo Zegna. $826.

Tagliatore. $349.

Eleventy. $448.

Earlier in The Great 2-Button vs. 3-Button Debate:
— Kennedy vs. Nixon
— A Reader Challenge to 2-Button vs. 3-Button

Earlier in Lapel Width Debate:
— The Definitive Lapel Width Chart
— Who You Gonna Cast Your Lapel Width Lot With? Band of Outsiders' Scott Sternberg or Tom Ford?

MB Deals of the Week: A Brooks Plaid and Alexander Smith Sneakers

MB Deals of the Week: A Brooks Plaid and Alexander Smith Sneakers

DEAL 1: In our MB Build series from earlier this year, we bought the client four shirts. His favorite was the white NOS Jacobs by Marc Jacobs for Marc Jacobs we had in our warehouse for over a decade. But a close 2nd was a Brooks Brothers plaid from YOOX. We got the last one in February, but it's back in stock in several sizes and just $59. Fits true to size.

DEAL 2: Later, when we bought our MB Build client shoes, one pair he threw back was these Alexander Smith tennies. His loss was our gain, as we kept them, and have since become huge Alexander Smith fans. Quirky and different in an authentically British way — as opposed to Boris Johnson's TTH way — this brand is our most important discovery of 2019. Once $229, they're just $52, and while we're unapologetic Anglophiles, we'd punt the lot you'll like them as much as we do. Fits true to size.

UPDATE 8/21/2019: Since we posted this, that sneaker model has sold out of everything except size 9. If you're another size, check the rest of Alexander Smith's inventory.

Ask the MB: Prescription Sunglasses?

Ask the MB: Prescription Sunglasses?

Q: It's just topped 70 degrees and sunny in Seattle, which means" suns out, buns out" is in effect. It also means it's time for sunglasses. Currently, I'm using my father's vintage glacier glasses from the late 70s, with the leather side shades removed, but they're not prescription lenses and I'd like to have a less blurry world. What are your thoughts on sunglasses for those of us who wear prescriptions? Get Rx lenses in the sunglasses, go clip-on like Lennon, or just swap out our glasses as needed (in which case, what to do with the Rx specs while out in the sun)?
—Brian

A: Indeed, if it's "buns out" clear vision is mandatory.

Long ago we wrestled with the same dilemma, first trying contact lenses plus regular sunglasses, then clip-ons, and finally settling on Rx sunglasses.

We recommend fast-forwarding directly to Rx sunglasses.

Lennon recording Imagine in 1971, two years after marrying Ono.

You didn't suggest contacts as an option — probably because you've worn them — and clip-ons are just too fussy and fragile and overall TTH. Also note that John Lennon is photographed wearing those clip-ons well into his Yoko Ono phase.

Anyhow, take your dad's old glacier glasses into Seattle's top-rated optician for Rx lenses and get their slimmest hard case. Swapping frames and dealing with a case is definitely not ideal, but we've found it's rarely an issue:

  • The number of times you're out and truly need both glasses and sunglasses are far fewer than you think.
  • In those situations there is often a puffer vest or jacket or blazer to slip it into without any trouble; surely it's a similar situation in Seattle as it is in Minneapolis.
  • Since we've fully embraced our own Minimum Viable Wallet technology there's now additional room in our pants, in a pinch.

EARLIER: Ask the MB: John Lennon's Clip-On Sunglasses

EVEN EARLIER: Ask the MB: John Lennon Sunglasses

Ask the MB: MB Watch

Ask the MB: MB Watch

Help! Previous "ask the MB" here (from all the way back in 2010 about the office booze cruise). I'm in need of fantastically MB watch for general use and upcoming wedding I will be attending. Sadly, both previously suggested O&W's are out of stock. I'm not a watch fanatic and go cross-eyed looking on watch forums for suggestions. Are there any other military inspired sub 40mm watches you recommend? What about this Hamilton?

Thanks. And by the way, the minimum viable wallet rocks. And these ties are 10/10 quality.
—Wade

A: First, thanks for the comments on our gear. We agree! We're diligently working on a couple other things we can't wait to show off.

As for that Hamilton, while it fulfills the size and movement requirements, the dial is waaaaay TTH. Partial seconds? That's reserved for NBA shot clocks and the Olympics. And by our count there are 37 numbers, which is 1133% more legibility than the minimalist O&W Kartago (three).

We're not sure when the wedding is, but a timepiece isn't as necessary as, say, pants. Don't settle. Westcoastime assures us the O&W M-65 will be back in stock by the end of June (2018). That's a good watch. If you can wait a while longer, we're in contact with Mr. Wajs — the "W" in O&W — and negotiating on a small run of the Kartago to put in the shop.

Ask the MB: Jogger Pants Trend

What Kanye Hath Wrought: Vince Leather Jogger Pants via Saks Fifth Avenue, $537.00
What Kanye Hath Wrought: Vince Leather Jogger Pants via Saks Fifth Avenue. $537.00.

Q: Please weigh in heavily on the jogger pants trend that is sweeping shamefully across the country.
— Dave

If we ever find ourselves on the tennis courts at the Red Raider Community Fitness Facility in April or October, we like cotton sweatpants for the first 20 minutes or so. We also endorse cashmere sweatpants under the following conditions: Intercontinental plane travel; domestic train travel that spans at least three states; recovery from any surgery that pushes you over your out-of-pocket maximum for the year; and house arrest.

Beyond that, we cast a wary eye toward sweatpants, loungewear, joggers, or whatever you want to call them.

Now, granted, in the era when we initially developed this wariness, sweatpants came in two main varieties: Shiny silk or shapeless polar fleece.

The new generation of sweatpants offers an alternative to such fare. They're cut more closely, they come in cotton, wool, and cashmere, and when designers aren't trying too hard to make them novel or sporty, there are an abundance of good options to choose from if you need a pair for any of the purposes we describe above.

And this current abundance doesn't surprise us — we see it as the inevitable consequence of aging millennials seeking relief from the unforgiving skinny jeans of their higher-metabolism youth. And of course it's yet another manifestation of culture's primary shaping force over the last 40 years or so — business casual.

But despite the significant advances in sweatpants manufacture, we don't find ourselves wanting to wear them more often. While $300 tailored sweatpants are certainly a step up from onesies, they still strike us as somewhat infantile when worn in nightclubs, restaurants, etc. And at work they cross the chasm from business casual to trying too hard (TTH).

Indeed, if your need to gamify your Monday morning meeting is so strong that you leave your colleagues wondering if you're planning to dunk on them or just share your thoughts on the Q3 revenue forecasts, you are spending way too much time at the office and not enough time engaging in actual leisure. Put on a belt, knot up your tie, and pour yourself a drink. Work shouldn't be that strenuous.

Magnificent Birthdays: Mahatma Gandhi

Magnificent Birthdays: Mahatma Gandhi

As a young, London-trained barrister, Mahatma Gandhi wore traditional business attire and pulled it off with aplomb. But it wasn't until he shed his suit and tie in favor of simple hand-spun sheet of locally produced cloth — aka khadi — that he emerged as a world-changing force. While rulers and revolutionaries alike typically signal their power and/or aspirations to power through crowns, brocade, epaulettes, sashes, and other ostensibly dazzling sartorial semaphores, Gandhi went in the complete opposite direction. His entire wardrobe appeared to consist of a bedsheet.

But if clothes make the man, it's also true, though much rarer, that the man can sometimes make the clothes. Gandhi donned a simple sheet and established himself as an icon of understated but indomitable will. His message was so true, and his convictions so strong, that he didn't need to clothe them in anything more elaborate than plain white cloth.

Now let us be clear here. We're not saying everyone — or really even anyone — should dress like Gandhi. If we said that, we'd never sell another belt or tie. But talk about artful dishevelment! Talk about not trying too hard! While Gandhi's wardrobe lacked variety, it had style to spare. And that's why, today, on Gandhi's birthday, we are breaking out the Bulleit and the Laphroaig and toasting the father of an independent India — and the father of business casual. Before Hef went to work in a bathrobe, before Steve Jobs prowled the hallways of Atari in bare feet, before Mark Zuckerberg taught mankind to share everything in a hoodie, there was Gandhi, showing the world you don't always need a power tie to be powerful. Our glasses are raised in his honor.

The Monocle is Having a Moment

The Monocle is Having a Moment

Once Google Glass hit the streets, we knew it was only a matter of time before monocles experienced a resurgence. It's Newton's Third Law of Fashion: For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.

So when some people start wearing computers on their faces, others will move in the opposite direction, donning crippled glasses. Inevitably, the monocle is having a moment. According to the New York Times, the one-lensed eyepiece is a certified "mini-trend."

Is this particular fashion moment one you should take part in? On the one hand, the monocle is archaic, Anglophilic, and even when providing vision correction, characterized by a senseless lack of utility. On the other hand, it's an extreme affectation, a facial prop for men who don't think bow ties are fussy enough.

To help clarify where we ultimately come down on the issue, we've created a new decider.

Ask the MB: What's the Right Way to Tie Shoelaces?

Ask the MB: What's the Right Way to Tie Shoelaces?

Q: At a cocktail party last night, an acquaintance pointed out that the lacing on my trusty oxfords was mismatched: the right shoe, straight bar (courtesy of the shoe shop) and the left, crisscross (courtesy of me). Before I correct this four-years-old case of absentmindedness, I thought I should consult MB. What is your recommendation for lacing methods, lace type and end length? (And just what is your thought on the bi-color lacing I see in the magazines?)
—Brian

There is a thin line between senseless lack of utility and trying too hard, and it can be found at Ian's Shoelace Site. While we admire attention to detail in unexpected places as much as anyone, we also have a thing for simplicity. Nine out of ten times we do Criss Cross or Display Shoe. With a dressier shoe we'll sometimes mix in Straight Bar, which requires a bit more effort for its streamlined effect but isn't so complicated that we suddenly feel like we're crocheting instead of getting dressed.

Specific lace types depend on the shoe, of course. We like natural laces (cotton, rawhide) over synthetic options, and stay away from any lace that's fat enough to qualify as a skinny tie.

Regarding end length, Professor Shoelace's obsession is instructive here. As his illustration suggests, a 10-inch end length leaves with you a fairly neat bow, and a 12-inch end length crosses into droopiness. For maximum artful dishevelment, we aim for 11 inches.

As for bi-color lacing, we classify that the same way we do dressing up for Halloween: Best left to children and chain-restaurant waitstaff.

Ask the MB: More on Monograms

None of the above
None of the above
Q: Where does the MB stand on shirt monograms? I feel like pocket lettering is trying too hard, but having initials peek out from a cardigan sleeve could bring things up a level.
—Mike


A: Mike, it's TTH on the sleeve, too. We've covered this before, arguing that they violate the understatement principle (while also managing to work in a picture of Pippa Middleton's ass), but forgot about the legible clothing principle, which they also clearly violate.

As for the monogrammists' arguments, they speak for themselves, like Howard at Ask Any About Clothes who posts, "I like monograms sometimes. It represents the feeling of being important and professional."

Earlier: Ask the MB: Monograms

Ask the MB: Club Wear

Ask the MB: Club Wear
Q: Naturally, an MB attracts the opposite sex at any time of day or night whether he is going outside to pick up the paper or waiting in line at the DMV. But, for those of us that like to go out to clubs and bars at night to meet women, what is MB-endorsed night party wear?
--Amir


A: We recommend Mark Nason boots, distressed jeans with a bunch of shit on the back pockets, and an untucked striped sport shirt.

Amir, we're just fucking with ya! Only wear this if you want to look like a participant in some sort of local university's toolbag cloning experiment.

Anyhow, the whole "club wear" concept is foreign to us and feels very TTH. On the contrary, you want to look like you didn't really try at all; you and some friends had dinner and just happened to end up on the floor, fist-pumping like Vinny from Jersey Shore.

Ask the MB: Beckham and Capello's World Cup Suits

Ask the MB: Beckham and Capello's World Cup Suits
Q: What does MB think of David Beckham and Fabio Capello's Umbro suits for the 2010 World Cup? Is this a winning look?
--Brennan


A: Nicely proportioned lapel, two button front, four button (which we presume to be functioning) cuffs, double rear vents in the traditional British style, and a three-lion crest. If you can excuse the creases in the pants, there is a lot to like here -- but unfortunately FIFA doesn't award any points for the amount of fearsome wildlife on your breast pocket.

With England currently 0-0-2, with just one goal to its credit, and unlikely to make it out of the weak Group C, the suits are looking a little TTH, like Beckham and Capello spent more time preparing their wardrobe than their team.

MB Note to Rickie Fowler

MB Note to Rickie Fowler
Son, once you win a PGA tour event, go ahead and make all orange your signature Sunday style. Until then, it's a TTH look that's a cross between an Oompa Loompa and a construction cone.

Ask the MB: Cool Sunglasses for Summer 2010

Bradley Cooper in <em>The A-Team</em>, wearing Allyn Scura Legend sunglasses
Bradley Cooper in The A-Team, wearing Allyn Scura Legend sunglasses
Q: We can all agree Wayfarers have peaked in popularity and aren't even a consideration for sunglasses this summer. Aviators are timeless, but not original. What's the recommendation to separate from the Wayfaring pack and be able to say in a few summers, "I've been wearing those for years."
--Sean


A: If you own any Wayfarers, send them to a needy Third World celebrity. Even in the Risky Business era we never wore 'em, and never will. Aviators, on the other hand, are like black boots: every MB should have at least one pair in his wardrobe.

But if you're wanting to be out ahead of the trend curve -- and it sounds like you do -- put tinted lenses in a pair of horn-rimmed eyeglasses. Done most famously by Cary Grant in North By Northwest more than 50 years ago, and restared 5 years ago by Johnny Depp with his pair of vintage Tart Arnels, they're trending. See Robert Downey Jr. at the Oscars (in the Oliver Peoples Sheldrake), and Bradley Cooper in The A-Team, opening next month (in the Allyn Scura Legend). But skip the blue lenses for brown or green. They're TH (Too Hollywood), or just plain TTH.

Ask the MB: Suits With Sneakers

Ask the MB: Suits With Sneakers
Q: Sneakers with suit...what's the MB take? I know the Prada sport line is great as are most Sabelt, but what about Adidas Samba or similar?
--Brooke


A: Great question. The closer you get to a footwear brand's "originals" the harder it is to pull off (and risk looking like you're TTH). Lots of guys can wear Puma Sport Fashion with a cool, casual suit. But are you up to combining that suit with Puma Suedes?

In the May 2009 GQ Will Arnett clearly made classic Adidas Rod Lavers work with a $100 cotton H&M suit (left). The comparatively schlubby Jason Segel did the same with Chuck Taylors on the red carpet in 2008's Forgetting Sarah Marshall (right). So what can be learned?

* Only attempt with slimmer, casual suits
* Wear flat front, and preferably un-creased pants
* Pair with a polo or artfully disheveled woven
* Occasionally do a little dancing and hand gesturing

Ask the MB: Creative Black Tie

Ask the MB: Creative Black Tie
Q: What's your take on "creative black tie"? I am a traditionalist, but I f#$@ing hate wearing a tuxedo. Is there an acceptable MB-worthy solution that eliminates the need to wear a tie?
--Johnny C.


A: Johnny, what you call "creative black tie," we call "a slippery slope to looking like Brett Michaels."

Opting out of a tie for black tie is a high-risk proposition. Even the sartorially gifted and adventurous Adrien Brody flopped spectacularly with the open shirt/medallion look at the Oscars a couple of years ago (inset). About the only successful untied look we've seen is David Beckham in an ascot. And he's David Beckham. With Posh Spice at his side.

A tuxedo is designed to be formal and somewhat generic. So trying to get creative with it is like trying to turn a pizza into a doughnut. You can do it, but you're probably going to end up with a funny-looking doughnut. Know when to pick your spots, or in other words, follow this MB Rule: Going against the flow doesn't mean pissing against the wind.

Ask the MB: More on Pant Tucking

Ask the MB: More on Pant Tucking
Q: I like the look of high/riding boots, but think it's too much to wear unless you're in the English countryside or riding. The other day I saw a guy wearing a nice pair of leather ankle boots, like a ferragamo or gucci boot, with his pants tucked into them. I couldn't decide whether it looked ridiculous or courageously cool. What say you?
--Tom


A: Tom, we answered your question about a year ago, calling it TTHTLLYS (Trying Too Hard To Look Like Yosemite Sam), and still oppose this overly affected style. Weather the pant-tucking trend for now as it will be completely gone by next fall, except on re-runs.

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Magnificent Bastard

  • 2 oz Bulleit bourbon
  • 1 oz Berentzen Apfelkorn
  • 1/8 oz Laphroaig 10-year scotch
  • 2 dashes Angostura bitters

Combine all ingredients in a mixing glass filled with ice. Stir languidly for 28 seconds. Strain into ice-filled rocks glass.


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