Magnificent Bastard

Thursday, August 17, 2017



Ask the MB: Pants that Fit an Athletic MB That Don't Crush the Crotch

Ask the MB: Pants that Fit an Athletic MB That Don't Crush the Crotch

Q: Long time reader with a style query:

For years, I have been unable to find casual pants that offer an appropriate degree of slimness and rise. For background, I lift weights moderately and exercise regularly so I never feel like my thighs have enough room in most standard slim-fit pants (H&M, Uniqlo, Levi's, etc.) On top of that, most slim-fit pants I've tried are low rise which seem - at least to me - to be too constricting in the ..er.. crotch area, and leave me looking like a flat-assed teenager. The problem is that regular fit or straight fit pants invariably have a rather schlubby box fit below and above the thigh, which really becomes apparent after a few washes. What is the correct amount of slimness and rise in a pair of pants for an athletic MB, and where should I look for this elusive clothing.
—George

A: George, have you considered skipping leg day?

We consider ourselves quite athletic and actually quite like to be a little bound through the thigh, and yes, even the crotch. We're not talking yoga-pant or needy girlfriend-level constriction here, just enough to feel vital, and remind us of why we bothered to ride 40 miles on a Saturday morning with a hangover so raging it felt like our head was the victim of an Andrew W.K. drum solo.

If that's not your thing, we don't judge. It's just that finding a stylish higher-rise pant with ample thigh room and a non-boxy fit through the thigh is like finding a Trump supporter who can actually afford to spend a night in a Trump hotel.

One suggestion, besides the simple, yet unacceptable solutions of parachute pants or Zubaz, is AG's "Graduate" fit. They're a little fuller through the thigh and still end up at just 7.75" at the ankle, a full ½" narrower than the Levi's 514 equivalent. Give them a try and let us know what you think

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  • 2 oz gin
  • 1 oz fresh lemon juice
  • 1 sugar cube (or half teaspoon simple sugar)
  • soda water (if desired)

Place the sugar cube at the bottom of a lowball glass, add the fresh lemon juice, and mash with the back of a spoon. Fill two-thirds with ice and the gin and stir for at least 30 seconds. Add soda water, if desired, and give a quick stir. Garnish with a lemon wedge.


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