Magnificent Bastard

Friday, October 31, 2014

Ask the MB: Is Ryan Lochte Gay or Straight?

Ask the MB: Is Ryan Lochte Gay or Straight?

Q: I am madly in love with Ryan Lochte but read on MSNBC that he has 130 pairs of shoes. This is roughly 100 more pairs of shoes than I own. Which team IS he on?
—Elizabeth

A: 130 pairs is a lot of shoes, but well below the well-known homosexual shoe-ownership cutoff of 150 pairs. Dude is straight.

While he would bring more shoes into the relationship than you, we'd be far more worried about his taste level than his sneaker collection. In an interview with Women's Health Magazine he says his celebrity crush is Carmen Electra. This answer was possibly appropriate 15 years ago, when Lochte was 13 and Electra was on Baywatch and in Playboy pictorials. Now ... disturbingly weird old chick fetish!

POURCAST

BETA

Sazerac

  • 3 shots rye whiskey (or to taste)
  • 1 sugar cube
  • Peychaud's Bitters
  • quarter shot of Absinthe
  • lemon twist

Soak the sugar cube with the bitters and place in the bottom of a highball glass. Mash with the back of a spoon (or muddler, which we hope has not been used to make a Mojito), add the rye whiskey and fill the glass with ice. Stir for about 30 seconds and then strain into another lowball glass that has been rinsed with Absinthe and filled about halfway with ice. Garnish with a lemon twist.


In-Depth Sazerac Coverage:

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