Magnificent Bastard

Sunday, August 2, 2015


See How Donald Trump Inspired the Sale

Ask the MB: Is Ryan Lochte Gay or Straight?

Ask the MB: Is Ryan Lochte Gay or Straight?

Q: I am madly in love with Ryan Lochte but read on MSNBC that he has 130 pairs of shoes. This is roughly 100 more pairs of shoes than I own. Which team IS he on?
—Elizabeth

A: 130 pairs is a lot of shoes, but well below the well-known homosexual shoe-ownership cutoff of 150 pairs. Dude is straight.

While he would bring more shoes into the relationship than you, we'd be far more worried about his taste level than his sneaker collection. In an interview with Women's Health Magazine he says his celebrity crush is Carmen Electra. This answer was possibly appropriate 15 years ago, when Lochte was 13 and Electra was on Baywatch and in Playboy pictorials. Now ... disturbingly weird old chick fetish!

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Pimm’s Cup

  • 2 oz Pimm's No. 1
  • 4 oz ginger beer
  • cucumber slice

Fill tall glass with ice. Pour in Pimm’s and ginger beer. Stir. Garnish with cucumber slice.


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