ask the MB

Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.

MB feature:

Holiday gift guide 2007 - mistress version



Mini or Maxi. You choose. Just remember that she could wreck your life.

See also: Magnificent Bastard Gift Guide

for receiving a booty call
Pastel Pink MOTORAZR
Presumably she's pretty. Perhaps prettiest in pink.
iPhone. $399.00
Only slightly less of a chick-phone than the pastel pink RAZR, but with more features.
for the booty
Victoria's Secret Embroidered Thong
Va voom.
Agent Provocateur 'Francoise' French Thong
Va va va va voom.
for a shopping spree
Target Gift Card
Target Gift Card. Buyer's Choice.
If you can't swing the Harvey Nicks trip (see maxi), at least she can get British-made Boots Skincare. And toilet paper.
Harvey Nichols
Actually, given current exchange rates, 5K might cover the taxi from Heathrow.
for beautification and rejuvenation
Or Russian. Or South Korean.
Canyon Ranch
A Day at Canyon Ranch. ~$1,500.00 (excluding airfare)
She needs Ayurvedic Herbal Rejuvenation, and Canyon Ranch is the place.
for showin' off the new pedi
Fuzzy Pink Sandal
Might go nicely with the aforementioned thong.
Christian Louboutin Ruched Knotted Platform
You can only begin to imagine how impressed she'll be if you know Christian Louboutin.
for her guilty pleasure
The Hills
She won't tell you that she watches it. But she does.
People Magazine
Lifetime Subscription. ~$6,000.00 (depending on her age)
A must for any mistress.
for her even guiltier pleasure
Cupcake at her favorite cupcake shop. ~$4.00
Pots de Creme Tartlets
Tarts for a tart. Perfect.
for her love and affection
Pound Dog
Pound Dog. Free.
The politically correct term is "mixed breed."
Havanese. $500.00
A lot like her: Cute. Trendy. No shedding.