Magnificent Bastard

Thursday, November 21, 2024



Decoding Julian Assange's Hair

Decoding Julian Assange's Hair

Sweden wants to lock up WikiLeaks muckraker Julian Assange for blowing his whistle without a condom. The U.S. wants him for data-rape. Supposedly he's sequestered in a U.K. jail cell for the time being, but with Assange can you really ever be sure? His hair is like a Swiss Army knife of disguise. In limp noodle mode, it turns him into B-list bad guy Julian Sands. Seconds later, he's pop art cipher Andy Warhol or America's favorite Ladies Lady Ellen DeGeneres.

So is that really him on lockdown, or are the Brits maybe holding 007 by mistake?

Julian Assange Julian Sands
The Euro-Mullet
Julian Assange Neal Patrick Harris
Doogie Nights
Julian Assange Andy Warhol
The Mop Top
Julian Assange Hermey the Elf
Santa's Little Hacker
Julian Assange Ellen Degeneres
Tipped Off
Julian Assange Daniel Craig
The Quantum of Pompous

POURCAST

BETA

Sazerac

  • 3 shots rye whiskey (or to taste)
  • 1 sugar cube
  • Peychaud's Bitters
  • quarter shot of Absinthe
  • lemon twist

Soak the sugar cube with the bitters and place in the bottom of a highball glass. Mash with the back of a spoon (or muddler, which we hope has not been used to make a Mojito), add the rye whiskey and fill the glass with ice. Stir for about 30 seconds and then strain into another lowball glass that has been rinsed with Absinthe and filled about halfway with ice. Garnish with a lemon twist.


In-Depth Sazerac Coverage:

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