Yes, we know there are 991 years until the year 3000. But does anyone really believe it's too early to declare Jon Gosselin Toolbag of the Millenium?
| Death before dishonor. Dishonor before taste. |
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| Totally about to kick the shit out of a car with his awesome business casual fighting skills. Or maybe doing the robot. |
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| Apparently it hurts to wear this shirt almost as much as it hurts to look at it. |
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| Flawless cigarette positioning completely destroyed by the fact that he's riding the world's only Oakley-branded lawnmower. |
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| Toolbag Hold 'Em: I'll see your camo pants, and your beer gut, and your stupid hand gesture, and your lame backward Fred cap, and raise you a completely ridiculous bro-face! |
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| Three-step plan to camouflage your bald spot: 1) Borrow Tommy Lee's belt. 2) Accessorize with Urkel's cell phone holster. 3) Go full frontal muffin top. |
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| Using only the power of his mind, the Toolbag of the Millenium attempts to destroy the timeless style of the plain white tee. |
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