Magnificent Bastard

Thursday, January 29, 2015

From the Shop ↷

Deadstock Girard 3700 Sunglasses

As worn by Bradley Cooper in American Hustle


300-Year Sterling Silver Buckle Belt

Built to look great forever — even if you live to 300


Disposable Letterpress Beverage Shields

Get some before we use them all up!


Signed Charge of the Unicorns Print

Ready to upgrade from that Renoir or Picasso?



Jon Gosselin: Toolbag of the Millenium

Founding member, Hell's Toolbags
Founding member, Hell's Toolbags
Yes, we know there are 991 years until the year 3000. But does anyone really believe it's too early to declare Jon Gosselin Toolbag of the Millenium?









Death before dishonor. Dishonor before taste.
Totally about to kick the shit out of a car with his awesome business casual fighting skills. Or maybe doing the robot.
Apparently it hurts to wear this shirt almost as much as it hurts to look at it.
Flawless cigarette positioning completely destroyed by the fact that he's riding the world's only Oakley-branded lawnmower.
Toolbag Hold 'Em: I'll see your camo pants, and your beer gut, and your stupid hand gesture, and your lame backward Fred cap, and raise you a completely ridiculous bro-face!
Three-step plan to camouflage your bald spot: 1) Borrow Tommy Lee's belt. 2) Accessorize with Urkel's cell phone holster. 3) Go full frontal muffin top.
Using only the power of his mind, the Toolbag of the Millenium attempts to destroy the timeless style of the plain white tee.

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