Magnificent Bastard

Sunday, December 11, 2016


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MBartender: The Clear and Present Danger of the Holidays

MBartender: The Clear and Present Danger of the Holidays
If you're a strict follower of our Cocktail Color Changing Guide, by this time of the year you will have downed enough Scotch to keep a small importer in business. Due to either the desire to try something new or constant badgering at holiday gatherings, in a moment of weakness you may even be tempted to try some warmed-over seasonal concoction. Don't fall victim to what is more or less the MB's version of a seasonal affective disorder (SAD)!

Here are some simple rules for when to avoid a seasonal drink:

* It contains enough eggs or dairy products that it would make a better omelet than cocktail
* Its name sounds like a line from a Christmas carol
* It looks like you'd need a spoon, or maybe even a knife and fork, to get it down
* The host appears to be completing their annual purge of their spice rack into your mug

If you must have a hot or seasonal drink, try a basic Hot Toddy, which an MB prefers (or given the gathering, needs) to be a little heavy on the booze.

Basic MB Hot Toddy
2 shots cognac (or high-quality brandy)
1 tablespoon honey
1 teaspoon lemon juice
hot water to taste

Put this all in a warm mug and stir until the honey dissolves. Garnish with a twist of lemon. (See our guide to lemon twists.)

Cuddle up next to a fireplace and with someone who is as warm and cozy, and you're ready for the holidays. (See our previous sexy female Santa photo shoot.)

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Pour 2 fingers into an empty tumbler, 3 if you're not alone.


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