|Way Too Wide
"Waiter, there's a toupee floating in my drink!" This thickness for a moustache has long since been socially unacceptable or comically overused .
|Inappropriate Size and Placement
Lemon twist meets soul patch. Inappropriate in so many ways.
|Too Curly or Thin
Your date just lost all respect for you. Were they out of umbrellas?
|Too Much Pith
Way too thick, man. This Magnum P.I. of a twist translates to being too pithy and bitter.
|The MB's Choice
Just right. Appropriate thickness. Medium width. A slight curve is fine. Papa would approve.