Magnificent Bastard

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

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Upgrade Your Questionable Taste in Gadgets with a Kenton Sorenson iPad Cover

Kenton Sorenson iPad Cover via Context Clothing, $190.00
Kenton Sorenson iPad Cover via Context Clothing. $190.00.
The iPad 2 is out and it's 33 percent thinner than the original model, or as we like to think of it, 33 percent more breakable. But here's the good news: Because the revolutionary iPad 1 is now officially obsolete, it has been discounted to $399. Which means that if you buy one now, you can apply your $100 savings to the purchase of a Kenton Sorenson iPad Portfolio.

Unlike iPads themselves, which are made in China by morose factory workers whose hobbies include low pay, overtime, and suicide, these portfolios are tanned, cut, oiled, and stitched by hand by a retired barber in Wisconsin who clearly derives substantial satisfaction from his labors. Craftsmanship this fine can only spring from passionate engagement.

If God permitted the Amish to play Angry Birds, or whatever it is people do on iPads, these would definitely be their favorite iPad covers. Indeed, these things are so plain but purposeful, so perfectly rendered, that every time we look at them we try to think of reasons why we might want another tiny electronic gizmo to clutter up our lives. We haven't come up with one yet.....but if the new low price of the heritage iPad is your personal tipping point, you know what cover to buy.

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  • 2 oz gin
  • 1 oz vodka
  • 1/2 oz Lillet Blonde (Blanc)

Lightly shake, or aggressively stir, ingredients with ice, pour into chilled martini glass. Garnish with lemon twist or a blonde.


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