juicy couture

Toolbag Fast Track: Juicy Tracksuit

May 16, 2008

Juicy Couture Striped Track Jacket & Pants via Neiman Marcus, $296.00 — Juicy Couture Striped Track Jacket & Pants via Neiman Marcus. $296.00.

Still wondering how Juicy Couture shows up at Neiman Marcus. Anyone?

Ask the MB -- Velvet Blazers

November 8, 2007

Juicy Couture Velvet Blazer via Neiman Marcus, $350.00 — Juicy Couture Velvet Blazer via Neiman Marcus. $350.00.

Q: OK, I'm confused...I've been looking to your site for months to guide me to becoming a magnificent bastard. Recently you said velvet blazers are a trend that's run its course. To my dismay, a magazine I consider on the forefront of men's style (Details) says the velvet blazer is a fall/winter essential.
—Akeel

A: Part of being a Magnificent Bastard is thinking for yourself, and here's a good opportunity. But before you decide, consider this: each month the writers at Details have to crank out a certain amount of words to fill up the magazine. On the other hand, magnificentbastard.com posts only when we've got something to say, even if it's a fantastical story about a French president's flag pin. Not to mention, it's a well known fact that Dan Peres, editor of Details, has been taking payouts from the VBIA (Velvet Blazer Industry Association) since he took the job.

Couture Cluelessness

September 28, 2007

Juicy Couture Barbed Wire Sweater via Saks Fifth Avenue, $168.00 — Juicy Couture Barbed Wire Sweater via Saks Fifth Avenue. $168.00.

Regular readers know our disdain for Juicy Couture, yet their wares somehow still show up at Barney's Co-Op and Saks, poisoning two of our favorite retailers' collections, like turds in a punchbowl. We're pretty sure they've reached the height of suckitude (or perhaps explosive diarrhea in a punchbowl?) with this barbed wire sweater, which reminded us of the bicep barbed wire tattoos that were so cool ~~7 or 8 years ago~~ ... never.

Skull F*ck

August 27, 2007

Juicy Couture Skull Blazer via Neiman Marcus, $175.00 — Juicy Couture Skull Blazer via Neiman Marcus. $175.00.

Skulls are about as post-peak as you can get without wearing an American flag lapel pin, yet Juicy Couture still cranks out skull-related stuff like they're coming into style. Even the New York Times called skulls dead over a year ago. Unless you're an actual pirate, or child, avoid.

Juicy Couture skull blazer and skull necklace, via Neiman Marcus.

Juicy Triple Play

July 18, 2007

Juicy Couture Cargo Short via Bloomingdale's, $117.00 — Juicy Couture Cargo Short via Bloomingdale's. $117.00.

Juicy Couture's slide toward brand oblivion isn't helped by this disastrous camo short triple play:

1. Linen. It sucks.
2. Long. 24" inseam a bit much, closer to slacks.
3. Camo. So 2006.

Even though they're on sale (surprise!), avoid.