Magnificent Bastard

Friday, December 9, 2022



calvin klein

Ask the MB: What To Do When Calvin Klein Stops Making Your Favorite Underwear

Ask the MB: What To Do When Calvin Klein Stops Making Your Favorite Underwear

Q: Long, longtime fan. So, Calvin Klein stopped making my favorite 100% cotton boxer briefs. I know, only halfway to MB chart, but these provided the perfect balance between scrotal space and glans restriction.

Anyway, I contacted CK to ask for a recommendation, and all I got was a generic copy/paste reply. Worse, they referred to their brand as Tommy Hilfiger, which - as it turns out - shares the sales infrastructure. Needless to say, I’m looking for an alternative, and turn to you for your wisdom and advice.

Kind regards, and keep up the good work, which is much appreciated!
—Duncan

A: Reading your note at our editorial meeting the other day caused sudden trembling and nausea, as we wondered out loud if CK also stopped making *our* all-time favorite underwear: CK One Cotton Stretch Slim Fit Boxers.

They did.

This soon turned into a full-scale panic attack. Had we sufficiently prepped? Was there a lifetime supply of CK One Cotton Stretch Slim Fit Boxers in storage?

No.

We honestly had not felt this level of existential wardrobe dread since 1979, when we learned JCPenney stopped selling bell bottoms.

We don't have an answer for right now, Duncan. We're still sorting through our emotions, and also a lot of underwear sites. But please stay tuned.

NB: For those wondering why Duncan is referring to scrotal space, here is the original Magnificent Bastard Underwear Guide, from when we were less mature, and funnier.


Nothing Got Between Bob Ross and His Calvins

Nothing Got Between Bob Ross and His Calvins

We've binged McMillions, Curb Your Enthusiasm (Season 10), Wild Wild Country, Lorena, Chernobyl, Ozark (Season 3), How To Fix a Drug Scandal, and the 2010 Green Bay Packer season.

But these were mere sprints. We've embarked on a marathon: the complete Bob Ross oeuvre. 31 seasons. 13 episodes each. By our math that works out to roughly 200 hours of happy clouds, friendly trees, and mistakes happy accidents.

One thing we were not expecting to see: Bob Ross in designer jeans. Season 4, Episode 6, at 20:29. Warm Summer Day.

Calvin Klein: Missing the Mark by a Mile

Calvin Klein: Missing the Mark by a Mile
From the company that introduced Brooke Shields and the nothing that came between her and her Calvin's: freakish-but-not-in-a-good-way model in too neat metallic button-down and tie that looks like it's sold together at TJ Maxx for $9.99.

Ask the MB -- T-Shirts

The Calvin Klein T-Shirt: Best Ever
The Calvin Klein T-Shirt: Best Ever
Q: While you're on the subject of undershirts, please settle a dispute my wife and I are having. We were going into a restaurant and noticed a college-age kid coming out of the nearby liquor store wearing madras shorts, flip flops and a plain white t-shirt. (Nothing written on it -- just a regular old Hanes tee.) My wife said the MB would NOT be happy. Since I have worn a plain white tee to the grocery store on occasion, I disagreed. What would make you happy for a quick run to the grocery store or liquor store?
--John


A: John, you won't be surprised to learn that you are right and your wife is wrong. A plain white t-shirt is a staple of any MB's wardrobe, and not just for liquor store runs. We're not a big fan of Hanes, mainly because we are huge, HUGE fans of Calvin Klein t-shirts (both crew neck and v-neck). Fine cotton, short sleeves to show off the result of punishing workout routines, and just the right amount of material around the waist to conceal addiction to beer and/or beef jerky. Highly recommended.

POURCAST

BETA

Bourbon Manhattan

  • 3 oz bourbon
  • 3/4 oz sweet vermouth, preferably Dolin
  • 2 dashes Angostura bitters

Stir over ice, strain into a chilled cocktail glass, and garnish with a Luxardo maraschino cherry.


×

Currently in
Minneapolis, Minnesota

33° Overcast

Bourbon Manhattan

Enter any city on earth & start cocktailing. (Zip codes work, too.)

Feedback? editor@magnificentbastard.com


recent posts

@magbas


ask mb

Got a style question? We're all ears. And antlers. Ask away.


tip mb

If you know about something you think we should know about, let us know (so we can pretend we knew about it all along). Send a tip.


features


channels