Magnificent Bastard

Monday, March 18, 2024



ralph lauren

Ask The MB: Puffer Vests

An extreme case. Jonah Hill in a hot dog puffer vest.
An extreme case. Jonah Hill in a hot dog puffer vest.

Hi! Is there a puffer vest that you all recommend? Maybe a couple of different brands? I know you recommended Duvetica a few years ago. Are they still your #1? Other brands? Thank you!
—Chris

A: Thanks so much for the question, Chris. We could go on forever about puffer vests as they're a wardrobe staple.

One warning before we list some options: these best suit taller, thinner MBs. If you're carrying a little extra bulk in your torso, the last thing you want to do is add bulk to your torso while the rest of your body keeps the same thickness. You will just look fatter.

With that caveat, we have three rules on puffer vests. They must:

1. Be filled with down. Goose is better than duck.
2. Have a collar (but not a hood)
3. Have some sort of elastic, whether it's the armholes or the waist. Both is better.

Here are a few for your consideration.







Uniqlo Ultra Light Down Vest. $49.99.
If you are merely puffer vest-curious and want to see if they're for you, by far the best gateway is Uniqlo's Ultra Light Down Vest. At just 50 bucks there is no better overall value. Uniqlo fits true to size but this is cut larger. Size one down. Gamefacing like the model is not allowed. Hey kid, you're in a $50 vest.

Aspesi Slim RE Down Gilet. $312 (from $520).
If we had to pick one puffer vest, this is it. Minimal, oozes quality, and has all the features: goose down, adjustable elastic hem, lycra armholes, zip pockets, and an interior zip pocket. Probably because Aspesi is based just a few miles from the Alps, these are packed with feathers and target US cocktail zone 5 and higher. If you are in a warmer cocktail zone it's likely overkill. Has long since replaced Duvetica as our top pick. Aspesi vests fit true to size.

Polo Packable Water-Repellent Down Vest. $169.
We're not normally one for logos but this polo player is retro, iconic, and lacks legibility. A better choice for warmer cocktail zones — or traveling to them — as it's lightweight enough to pack into itself. What's with the gamefacing? Again, not allowed, even at $169. Polo is a shade big. For our Polo puffer vests we go one size down.

Ask the MB: Affordable Wedding Tuxedo

The Best Tuxedo Value on the Internet?
The Best Tuxedo Value on the Internet?

Hey folks, I recently popped the question to my longtime girlfriend, and for some reason, she said yes.

I would love to marry the woman of my dreams in an equally incredible tuxedo. I have no clue where to start, but I want something cool and classic with a pop. Money is an object, but the right suiting is worth it. Be my sherpas and (please!) point me in a direction.
—Mike

A: Mike, we are both honored and humbled that you would ask us for advice on what might be the biggest mistake day of your life.

We adhere to our 2008 stance and say a wedding tuxedo should be able to stand a 100 year test of time. While it's been only 8 years since we recommended the classic Ralph Lauren peak lapel version, it looks as good now as it did when John McCain was running for president.

The only catch is it's $1,395, up from $1,350. There is bigger value to be had.

Until ASOS and UNIQLO start making tuxedos, we shall rely on YOOX, where there is an additional 25% off through August 26. Here are some suggestions that meet our style requirements:

Boss Black. $551 ($413 with 25% discount)
DSquared2. $1,182 ($886)
Lanvin. $1,117 ($838)
Gucci. $1,307 ($980)

All of these options are fairly similar, aesthetics-wise, so choose the one that's the best fit for your wallet and your torso. If you're feeling symbolic, give extra consideration to the DSquared2, which is 5 percent elastane. Normally, we're against synthetics, but any marriage built for the long haul can always use a tiny amount of stretch.

Apply your savings towards your shoes, shirt, tie, and if you want a good deal on groomsmen gifts, we'll be happy to work something out to help you celebrate your big day.

Best of luck to you and your new bride, and let us know what you end up deciding on.

Meanwhile, check out our wedding ring advice.

Ask the MB: Ralph Lauren's Team USA Olympic Uniforms

Ask the MB: Ralph Lauren's Team USA Olympic Uniforms
Q: Amid the brouhaha about this year's US Olympic uniforms, I'm surprised no one's brought up the obvious complaint: they're hideous! Horrible berets, round collars, ugly ties, and jackets with distractingly enormous manufacturer logos... even the white trousers under stadium lighting will give us a good sense of who wears what underwear. Am I right about this, or just completely out of touch?
—Vince


A: You are right (for the most part). The insane politicians who wanted to burn the Ralph Lauren uniforms because they were made in China should have instead wanted to burn the blazer because it's a too-short DB with peak lapels and brass buttons.

The beret is an odd choice. Maybe Lauren thought the games were in Paris instead of London.

As for the rounded collars, we have previously argued against trimming there because all the sensitive nerve endings are at the tip, and we've weighed in on Lauren's enlarged equestrian logo, which is approaching the size of a real-life jockey.

Where we disagree is on the white trousers. Even under hundreds of 1500-watt lights, they get us to chant U-S-A U-S-A.

Earlier: Ask the MB: White Pants

Ask the MB: Blue Blazers

Ask the MB: Blue Blazers
Q: At what sort of events are blue blazers (the classic type with gold buttons) appropriate? I have a nice Polo blazer, but am sometimes unsure it's the right call.
—Matt


A: We recommend this look only for scotch ads and sloop christenings.

Don't just stand there, get some glue!

We have been in your shoes — with exposed ankles, of course — with nice blue Polo blazers and strongly recommend jumping ship. Sure, you could replace the brass buttons with blue ones, but we suspect this garment has other problems like padded shoulders and a length hanging down below the bottom of your ball sack.

Instead, get into the modern navy blazer, which is deconstructed and shorter, like this one from Prada Sport at YOOX. It's made from resin-coated wool so it doesn't really wrinkle, and comes with a cool bag it easily folds into, so it's perfect for traveling. It's a great piece and it's on sale. Fits true to size.

Earlier: MB Endorses: Exposed Ankles
Earlier: Ask the MB: Blazer and Suit Jacket Length

Ask the MB: Black Suit for Work

Ask the MB: Black Suit for Work
Q: Black suit: Is a slim fit black suit a good move for the office and, if so, how should it be accessorized? I prefer to reserve black for evening events, but I'd like to go beyond the navy and charcoal options. (I either don't like light-colored suits, or I don't look good in them...I'm not sure which.)
—JY


A: A black suit — slim-fit or otherwise — is only a good move for exactly two occasions:

1. Funerals
2. Auditioning for a gangster role in a Tarantino pic

If you're bored with navy and charcoal and can't do light colors, try a pattern like a windowpane, pinstripe, or our favorite, Glen plaid like this one from Ralph Lauren

Ask the MB: Giant Logos. Safe or Unsafe?

Ask the MB: Giant Logos. Safe or Unsafe?
Why are Earth's polo shirt logos morphing into giant mutant cartoons? Am I in any danger?
--Owen


Owen, we assume you're talking about Lacoste's oversized reptiles and Ralph Lauren's iconic equestrian, which in recent years has grown bigger than most real-life jockeys.

In the case of Lacoste, as long you don't mind looking like the world's biggest three-year-old, there is no real danger. Ralph Lauren, on the other hand, has essentially created the preppy version of Ed Hardy shirts with his Big Pony and Rugby lines. If you ask us, one giant logo per polo shirt is one too many. Clutter things up with stripes, patches, flags, and other Anglophilic flair (TTH edition) and you've got a look that shouts "Muffy says no penilingus unless we rent in Sagaponack, but my heart is at the Jersey Shore." Keep your distance from these things -- second-hand toolbagism is a very real possibility.

Ask the MB -- Polo Shirts

Ask the MB -- Polo Shirts
What is the Magnificent Bastard take on something I've always thought to be a staple in my closet, the Polo shirt (http://tinyurl.com/32uco2)? I personally have always loved them for casual wear, but want to make sure I'm not a toolbag by doing so.
--Chris


A: Ralph Lauren makes some fine clothing, but why choose a logoed item that's so ... very ... common? So you can look like that middle manager with the penny loafers and Blackberry hanging from his belt? Wait a minute, that's the office calling.

Save yourself $25 and get into something like this slim-fit, unlogoed polo from Barney's Co-Op. No popped collar, and you can show off more of your hard-earned biceps.

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