hoodies

Jordan Spieth Goes Full Sweatsuit at 151st Open

July 24, 2023

The only worthwhile thing here is exposed ankles.

If memories serve, joggers started showing up on the PGA Tour ~2016.

Then, of course, hoodies had a breakout appearance at the 2021 Ryder Cup. (Though some players tucked them in because the wind blew them around in their faces. That's how fucking dumb hoodies are for golf.)

On Saturday at The Open, Jordan Spieth took loungewear separates to their inevitable conclusion: he combined them.

Don't get us wrong. We love occasionally being fully ensconced in jersey. But there are hundreds if not thousands of clubs across the country that would not allow you on the golf course if you showed up wearing Spieth's outfit. That's after mocking you for even trying.

Yet it's OK for Royal Liverpool and the Royal and Ancient.

It's past time for the R&A to adopt attire rules similar to those at The All England Club, except rather than, "suitable tennis attire that is almost entirely white," it can simply read, "suitable golf attire, and that sure AF obviously means no hoodies or sweatpants."

Monday Morning Quarterback Week 15

December 16, 2013

It's Week 3 of Monday Morning Quarterback, a feature that combines our love of chronic traumatic encephalopathy-inducing bloodsport (aka, the NFL) with our passion for style.

Each week we break down the postgame press conference film and pick the best and worst-performing quarterbacks from around the league. We take their actual Passer Rating, multiply it by the proprietary Magnificent Bastard Dresser Rating, to arrive at their Total Magnificent Bastard Quarterback Rating.

	Jay Cutler Passer Rating: 102.2 Dresser Rating: 63.1 Total Magnificent Bastard Quarterback Rating: 64.5 This week Cutler's presser dressing symbolizes his quarterback play: Occasional brilliance — scarf tied in loose "playoff tuck" style — marred by a boneheaded pick, like this skully. EARLIER: 7 Ways to Tie a Scarf Based on the Game-Time Temperature at Lambeau Field
	Geno Smith PR: 68.6 DR: 57.3 TMBQBR: 39.3 Hanging a big, pressed woven collar outside a crewneck is a rookie mistake, as is over-accessorization. Go with either the Jets-colored boutonniere or the pocket square, not both. EARLIER: Collar Tucking with Crewnecks. JFK and William F. Buckley
	Mike Glennon PR: 75.5 MBR: 45.3 TMBQBR: 34.2 Mike Glennon has added reading Monday Morning Quarterback to his game-day preparation. Two consecutive weeks with large jacket gapes split wide to his right, he's clearly seen a tailor to tighten his collar coverage.
	Carson Palmer PR: 100.8 DR: 29.0 TMBQBR: 29.2 Just two weeks removed from winning MB Player of the Week honors as an NFL quarterback disguised as a professor, Palmer is hit for a big loss, with the age-inappropriate tandem of hoodie and skully each recording half a sack. EARLIER: MB ANALYTICS: Hoodie vs. Cardigan Chart
	Eli Manning PR: 31.9 DR: 59.3 TMBQBR: 18.9 Manning could've dressed like Tom Brady on his best day and still been well down the MMQB rankings due to his comically bad performance against the Seahawks. Layering is an MB principle, but that value (3) should never be exceeded by the number of interceptions (5). Nor should the number of quarter-zip mock sweaters (1) ever exceed TD passes (0). EARLIER: Layering: A Key MB Principle
	Andrew Luck PR: 82.8 DR: 0.0 TMBQBR: 0.0 Three weeks into Monday Morning Quarterback and Andrew Luck still can't read the reporter blitz and is missing wide-open showers. Luck looks like the Geico caveman, only worse-dressed. EARLIER: Andrew Luck Sacked Again by Blitzing Reporters

Ask the MB: Hoodies

November 2, 2011

Q: For cool fall days, are hoodies bastardly? What about this one from Alternative Apparel?
—Chris

A: We've never been big fans of hoodies, unless of course you're a woman, a boxer, or still waiting to graduate from high school. They're like cardigans for kids.

Use the chart below as your hoodie (or cardigan)-wearing guide.

Earlier: More dismissive missives about hoodies

Ask the MB: Hoodie With Blazer

May 11, 2010

Q: What do you think of a blazer with a hoodie? Like this Daniele Alessandrini in deep purple? Thanks.

--Alain

A: Alain, what we have here is the apparel equivalent of the Leno/O'Brien late night war. A blazer is designed to be outerwear. A hoodie is designed to be outerwear. But if they're both owned by the same torso, they can't each be outerwear at the same time. In this case, we say fire them both.

Ask the MB: 'Hipster' Look

June 18, 2009

'I'm so depressed! If I had two heads, I could wear a hoodie too.'

I'm 5'10" 140 lbs. with a semi-athletic build. What is the best kind of jeans, shirt, hoodie and possibly hat to go for a hipster look?
--Patrick

A: Hat and hoodie? Do you have two heads? Because if so, 140 lbs. is really skinny.

Even if you've got just one head, we're not sure why you're wanting to go for this look. However, if you insist: spend $150 at Urban Outfitters, donate your razor blades to hairy orphans in Malawi, and you're there.

(Pictured: Cable Knit Marled Beanie, via Urban Outfitters.)

Ask the MB: Will Smith Hoodie

December 1, 2008

Q: What kind of hoodie is Will Smith wearing in Hancock and where do you get one?
--Ric

A: The actual hoodie worn by Smith in the scene pictured is now for sale on eBay (auction ends Wednesday). It's a grey Russell Athletic you can get just about anywhere. As for the two-tone version he's wearing on the beach (inset), we're doing some digging.

'Joe the Plumber' Clarifies MB Case Against Hoodies, Legibility

October 20, 2008

This picture worth at least 975 words.

Ask the MB

October 16, 2007

Q: Are track jackets in this year?
—Ben

A: Sadly, this year track jackets have been replaced by the "hoodie," a trend Magnificent Bastards should not participate in. For instance, look at this ridiculous Kidrobot skulls hoodie (from Barney's Co-Op no less) that you're likely to see on a bum sometime next fall. As a countervailing measure we recommend confident MBs slip into this Adidas hybrid track jacket/cardigan from coolestshop.