Monday Morning Quarterback Week 15
It's Week 3 of Monday Morning Quarterback, a feature that combines our love of chronic traumatic encephalopathy-inducing bloodsport (aka, the NFL) with our passion for style.
Each week we break down the postgame press conference film and pick the best and worst-performing quarterbacks from around the league. We take their actual Passer Rating, multiply it by the proprietary Magnificent Bastard Dresser Rating, to arrive at their Total Magnificent Bastard Quarterback Rating.
Passer Rating: 102.2
Dresser Rating: 63.1
Total Magnificent Bastard Quarterback Rating: 64.5
This week Cutler's presser dressing symbolizes his quarterback play: Occasional brilliance — scarf tied in loose "playoff tuck" style — marred by a boneheaded pick, like this skully.
EARLIER: 7 Ways to Tie a Scarf Based on the Game-Time Temperature at Lambeau Field
Hanging a big, pressed woven collar outside a crewneck is a rookie mistake, as is over-accessorization. Go with either the Jets-colored boutonniere or the pocket square, not both.
EARLIER: Collar Tucking with Crewnecks. JFK and William F. Buckley
Mike Glennon has added reading Monday Morning Quarterback to his game-day preparation. Two consecutive weeks with large jacket gapes split wide to his right, he's clearly seen a tailor to tighten his collar coverage.
Just two weeks removed from winning MB Player of the Week honors as an NFL quarterback disguised as a professor, Palmer is hit for a big loss, with the age-inappropriate tandem of hoodie and skully each recording half a sack.
Manning could've dressed like Tom Brady on his best day and still been well down the MMQB rankings due to his comically bad performance against the Seahawks. Layering is an MB principle, but that value (3) should never be exceeded by the number of interceptions (5). Nor should the number of quarter-zip mock sweaters (1) ever exceed TD passes (0).
EARLIER: Layering: A Key MB Principle
Three weeks into Monday Morning Quarterback and Andrew Luck still can't read the reporter blitz and is missing wide-open showers. Luck looks like the Geico caveman, only worse-dressed.