Having convinced our client to adopt fairly slim-fit shirts and sweaters, we felt confident trying the same approach with pants. It didn't work out. Every attempt from MB favorites Dondup, Myths, Uniqlo, and AG made our client uncomfortable, either being too tight through the thigh, or leg opening, or both.
Low-rise, testicle-snugging, ankle-exposing Italian party pants apparently aren't for everyone. This revelation forced us to pivot.
Just as no one ever got fired for buying IBM, we're hopeful the same goes for buying Levi Strauss & Co. We tried several different fits from the 511 (way too aggressive) to the 514 to the 502, and those, too, were out of his comfort zone, so we retreated to the roomy-thigh high ground of the 505, the original Levi zip fly.
Are we happy about this? No. A strong case can be made we just got our client into dad-fit pants. But we purchased items he'll wear, and the colors and fabrics we chose help make the uniform work. (We will post the one-touch uniform dressing app next week.)
We Threw This One Back
These didn't make the cut, but Uniqlo's Ezy Jeans are the invention many men have been yearning for: stealth sweatpants. As one reviewer says, To the outside observer, they appear to be jeans, but on your body, they feel more like sweatpants."
For years, I have been unable to find casual pants that offer an appropriate degree of slimness and rise. For background, I lift weights moderately and exercise regularly so I never feel like my thighs have enough room in most standard slim-fit pants (H&M, Uniqlo, Levi's, etc.) On top of that, most slim-fit pants I've tried are low rise which seem - at least to me - to be too constricting in the ..er.. crotch area, and leave me looking like a flat-assed teenager. The problem is that regular fit or straight fit pants invariably have a rather schlubby box fit below and above the thigh, which really becomes apparent after a few washes. What is the correct amount of slimness and rise in a pair of pants for an athletic MB, and where should I look for this elusive clothing. —George
A: George, have you considered skipping leg day?
We consider ourselves quite athletic and actually quite like to be a little bound through the thigh, and yes, even the crotch. We're not talking yoga-pant or needy girlfriend-level constriction here, just enough to feel vital, and remind us of why we bothered to ride 40 miles on a Saturday morning with a hangover so raging it felt like our head was the victim of an Andrew W.K. drum solo.
If that's not your thing, we don't judge. It's just that finding a stylish higher-rise pant with ample thigh room and a non-boxy fit through the thigh is like finding a Trump supporter who can actually afford to spend a night in a Trump hotel.
One suggestion, besides the simple, yet unacceptable solutions of parachute pants or Zubaz, is AG's "Graduate" fit. They're a little fuller through the thigh and still end up at just 7.75" at the ankle, a full ½" narrower than the Levi's 514 equivalent. Give them a try and let us know what you think
You know what John Wayne, James Dean, Elvis Presley, and Arthur Fonzerelli all had in common? If you answered that they all wore Levis 501s, you'd be right. But if you answered that they all would have never been caught dead in Levi's latest style for men, the Ex-Girlfriend, then you'd be really really right.
Which is not to say these things haven't found a market. Here's one satisfied customer's assessment: "I know these are marketed toward men, but I'm a 14 year old girl and these things fit perfectly. Super tight and cute. I'm not really sure how a male with proper anatomy could ever wear them though. 5 stars from me though, a 14 year old skinny girl."