Magnificent Bastard

Tuesday, October 8, 2024



boots

Ron DeSantis Has a Footwear Problem

Ron DeSantis Has a Footwear Problem

Ron DeSantis has much bigger problems than being bad at campaigning, a bad voice, and bad at not being an unlikable dick.

Yes, we're talking about his footwear.

Of course there was last fall's comical white go-go boot show Photoshoppers used to turn Ron into a green M&M and an obese Dallas Cowboys cheerleader.

Over the 4th of July there was a new shoe incident at a New Hampshire parade. Standing here drenched, he looks to be wearing orthopedic coal miner boots for the vertically challenged.

They made his daughter cry.

We were so taken aback by these clodhoppers, we were wondering where a guy could even buy some. The closest we got was the Monster Boot collection at Halloween Express.

Can you locate these? The first reader to send a link to Ron's black boots will be sent a complimentary Minimum Viable Wallet with three straps of their choice. Send a note to editor@magnificentbastard.com.

MB Endorses: The North Face Nuptse Booties

MB Endorses: The North Face Nuptse Booties

Ever since we called out Rossignol's yard sale of a sophomore season of their Après Ski Booties, we've been on the hunt for something similar: sneakerized, stylish, lightweight, slip-on boots that pair with Makers and Riders' M1Z jeans, and that can be worn for everything from après ski to winter bike commuting.

Is that too much to ask?

Five months later we're thrilled to report that a superior replacement has been found: The North Face Nuptse Booties.

They're a little lighter, warmer, cheaper, more waterproof, and more stylish than the Rossignol version. (The only downside: they're just a little harder to get on.)

We found them at ASOS and are stockpiling. They run one size small.

Rossig-no! — Updated Après Ski Booties and the Agony of Defeat

Rossig-no! — Updated Après Ski Booties and the Agony of Defeat

Our most gushing post of 2021 was about Rossignol's Après Ski Booties, in our view a near-perfect sneakerized boot to stylishly get around during Minneapolis's 5 months of winter.

Rossignol and its retailers ran out of these fast but promised us "...we will have them again next season with some new colorways," and when they didn't immediately drop last month with the rest of their winter gear, a customer service rep asked us for patience and added they are "super stoked on them."

They recently appeared on rossignol.com, and to say we are disappointed is an understatement:

  • Colors. Pink for shirts? Yes! Not for winter boots, unless you only plan on wearing them sipping whiskey on the patio at Warm Springs Lodge.
  • No black/red/white. In a month or two, when the pink and green ones are marked down 40%, Rossignol would be sold out of their bread-and-butter model from last year.
  • Sizes. These run incredibly small, and only the legible "Hero" model comes in anything larger than an 11.5.

But the biggest problem is the boots being renamed Podium Shoes, from Après Ski Booties.

The former implies training, competing, standing, and listening to three awful national anthems, while the latter suggests sitting in front of a fire with a drink in hand and a firmly-established head buzz, sharing stories and laughs. (Note: the latter is better.)

We're hoping for a reboot in 2023. Meanwhile, this collection is best visually summed up by a gif of an iconic clip from our childhoods.

Ask the MB: Ski Pants and Jacket

Left: 'Palmeres' 5-pocket ski pants. Right: 'Hiver' down ski jacket.
Left: 'Palmeres' 5-pocket ski pants. Right: 'Hiver' down ski jacket.

Hey thanks for the tip on the Rossignol boots. Pretty dope. And you nailed the size. Any jacket & bib/pant recommendations?
—Adam

A: You're welcome on the boots. Glad you got them before they sold out (in black). We're looking forward to loading up on lifetimes' supplies next fall when Rossignol says they'll be reloaded. (Yep, they're that good.)

As for a jacket/pants recommendation, why not more Rossignol? Last week at our annual ski summit — this year at Sun Valley — we discovered the Rossignol concept store and learned there are three others at Aspen, Park City, and NYC.

That works for us.

While browsing, for pants we really liked the Palmeres, a "style that mimics five-pocket jeans." $350. No, they're not our beloved Naked & Famous Snow Pant Denim, but those are all long gone, even on eBay.

For the jacket, the standout was the Hiver. $550. It's packed full of "traceably-sourced" down, has a detachable hood, pass pocket, and subtle tricolor branding. Magnifique!

As you would expect, Rossignol fits slightly small. Go up one size.

Earlier: Get Dressed: Killing Bumps in Steamboat Springs

MB Endorses: Rossignol Après Ski Booties

MB Endorses: Rossignol Après Ski Booties

We've been looking for something like this since we grew out of Moon Boots 30 years ago, and Rossignol has nailed it with these lightweight, sporty, sneakerized après ski booties.

For those of us in Climate/Cocktail Zone 6, they fill the stylish foul-weather footwear chasm that exists between 6" of snow — when we pull out the Sorel Pacs — and a mere dusting. In fact, we like these so much they're an instant MBHOF candidate, paired here with current MBHOF member, the Makers and Riders M1Z jeans.

This is our outdoor uniform for the next 6 months (including après ski).

NB: These run really small. Order at least 1 size up, and if you're borderline, 1.5.

UPDATE 12/23/2021: Days after this post Rossignol went out of stock on most sizes (and there weren't a lot of options at other retailers). We emailed customer service and over a month later got a response: "We will not be receiving more of the Après Ski boot for this season, but will have them again next season with some new colorways." We'll post about these again when they become available, right after we purchase lifetime supplies.

Get Dressed: Felling Trees Deep in Western Wisconsin Woods

Get Dressed: Felling Trees Deep in Western Wisconsin Woods

If a tree is felled in the forest and no one is around to see the lumberjack, is he still stylish?

As you ponder that philosophical thought experiment, here's what we're wearing as we head out to inhale 2-stroke exhaust fumes and face a non-zero chance of sudden death.

1. Stihl Forestry Helmet System. A must, even for the weekend lumberjack. The only thing these are missing is Bluetooth and the Sony WH-1000XM4's noise-canceling technology.

2. Woolrich Reversible Padded Shirt. A giant buffalo check for limbing and bucking by day, puffy quilted black nylon for clubbing — or tavern-hopping — by night. Woolrich fits true to size.

3. Makers and Riders 3 Season Weather Proof M1Z Jeans. These will be in the forthcoming MB Hall of Fame. We wear 'em for just about every outdoor activity from November to March. Owner Chris Ontiveros said he was going out of business way back in 2019, but thankfully that turned out to be false. Vanity sized by an inch or two.

4. Pro Mark 9-Layer Apron Chaps. When you're 30 miles from the nearest hospital, the last thing you need is to rip open your femoral artery. These chaps' 9 layers of cut-retardant material can prevent that, have a handy front pocket, and add an additional layer of warmth.

5. Wells Lamont Winter Weather Work Gloves. We've been through a bunch of winter work gloves and these are the warmest, most rugged we've found. 4.5/5 at Amazon with over 1000 reviews. Runs about 2 sizes small (that's the reason for most of the negative reviews). Made in Ethiopia!

6. Carolina Steel Toe Work Boots (Model CA7503). Red Wing gets all the glory, but for actual work Carolina is better. Great for all sorts of labor beyond lumberjacking, especially when your toes are at risk from being crushed or cut off. Made in USA (and they never let you forget it). Carolina runs one size small.

7. Stihl MS 261 C-M. If there is a single piece of advice you take away from this site — besides, say, proper sleeve-rolling technique — it's this: never, ever buy any hardware or tools or machinery labeled "homeowner." Or even "farm & ranch." Always buy pro gear. It's more but always less expensive. This Stihl saw is light and powerful and could last your lifetime.

Ask the MB: Moving to Norway

The Genève, along with Bergen's 7-day forecast
The Genève, along with Bergen's 7-day forecast

Q: Hello MB, I am moving to Norway and I need a raincoat. Any recommendations? I'm looking for something lightweight and affordable. I'll also be bringing along my Mobster Galoshes (thanks for that tip)!
—Jay

A: Jay, we're glad you like the Mobster galoshes. They're on our "All-Time Favorites" list … which only exists in our minds right now, but which we will someday publish when we think of a catchier name for it.

The Mobsters are made by Swims, which is based in Oslo, so let's keep things simple: Buy more Swims! Norwegian rain is probably not all that much different than American rain, but why take that chance? Get something by the locals.

Of course, Swims gear is actually manufactured in China, because Donald Trump is not President of Norway (yet). But it is engineered in Norway, where they are such experts in shitty weather they don't even call the piece we're going to recommend to you a "rain jacket," because any jacket you plan on wearing more than once a year in Norway better be able to hand the rain.

Don't believe us? Oslo gets 161 days of rain a year. Bergen, Norway's second largest city, gets 240! Seattle, only 150.

(No, you didn't just accidentally land on weather.com. But honestly, stopping making such a big deal about all the rain you get, Seattle. Compared to Bergen, you're a desert paradise.)

Okay, back to our recommendation. Take a look at the Genève, described as a "sporty, all-weather, all-day, all-seasons, all-purpose jacket." Which we suspect is the Old Norse way of saying "raincoat."

If you need technical proof, here are its specs: "20.000 g/sqm/24h, 20.000 hydrostatic water column." Yup, raincoat.

We don't own The Geneve — yet — but if we ever find ourselves living in a place that gets more than 150 days of rain a year, it will be high on our purchase list. And every piece of Swims outwear we do own has been a terrific investment.

So buy with confidence, and good luck on your exciting new adventure.

Get Dressed: Biking to Work in Arctic Conditions, the Ultimate Guide

Get Dressed: Biking to Work in Arctic Conditions, the Ultimate Guide

Al Gore and Leo DiCaprio are going to have to take a lot more trans-oceanic plane trips before they manage to put a dent in the bone-bruising chill that greets us every morning in Minneapolis this time of year. But while there's nothing we can do to avoid the snow, sleet, and ice, we can avoid the even-worse-than-usual traffic and parking-space hunts that come with them. How? By continuing to ride our bikes to work, even in the face of sub-zero temperatures.

How do we pull this off without looking like we're about to engage in some heavy breathing with a couple of broad-shouldered Scandinavian beauties at the Winsport Olympic Luge Track? We lay out our strategy below.

HEAD

Smartwool Balaclava underneath a Smartwool Reversible Training Beanie. This is the warmest headwear combination that can still fit under your helmet.

1. Bell Faction in Matte Black. Minimal. Cheap. Works for the aforementioned DiCaprio, and us, too.

2. Nannini "TT" Goggles. Made for motorcyclists but adopted by cyclists looking for a stylish way to keep your eyelids from freezing shut.

TORSO & LEGS

3. Smartwool Baselayer underneath a 8 Wool Turtleneck. A baselayer under a jacket is all we usually need in anything above 10°F but it was -6°F this morning so we layered with a wool turtleneck. 8 makes a stylish one, with value.

4. Love Moschino Long Down Puffer. Down blazer-style jackets and some days even down shirts work for Minneapolis winter commuting. But not this neo-Polar Vortex shit. At anything below 0°F we pull out the long down puffer. Jack Frost may nip at your nose, but first he nips at your toes, then, surprisingly, your ass. Having goose feather coverage back there helps prevent his bite.

5. Smartwool Baselayer underneath Naked and Famous Snowpant Denim. Naked and Famous is responsible for some of the most important innovations in the history of denim, like scratch and sniff raspberry scented jeans. But their all-time best effort is the discontinued Snowpant Denim, a deep indigo wash treated with a waterproof and wind-resistant coating, and lined in comfy fleece. Look for them on eBay and try to grab them before we do.

HANDS

6. Wigens Bear Claw Gloves The synthetic lobster claw gloves you see most winter commuters wearing are neither a warmth nor a dexterity match for these Swedish leather and fur marvels. Unfortunately Wigens seems to have stopped making them. Set up an eBay alert.

FEET

Minnesota-based 45NRTH makes the popular Wölvhammer commuter boot, but they're nearly as heavy as a pair of Pacs, only rated to 0°F, and don't abide by our un-gear aesthetic. After several years of trial and error we've concocted a 4-step footwear solution that's fairly lightweight and can hold up to a 45 minute commute at -20°F.

Darn Tough Hunting Socks. Not all wool socks are created equal. We've tried a dozen different brands and Darn Tough are the best. Made in Vermont.

7. Fleece-Lined Sorel Slip-on Sneakers. Yes, fleece-lined sneakers. These run large.

Teosport Neoprene Toe Covers. Put these over the Sorels.

8. Swims "Mobster" Rubber/Neoprene Waterproof Boots. Wrap the cozy package up in perhaps our all-time favorite footwear and off you go.

MB Endorses: Greek Leftists

The Global Economy: Anti-austerity for Greece means cheap boots for us.
The Global Economy: Anti-austerity for Greece means cheap boots for us.

The spectre of Greece electing an anti-austerity, anti-bailout party has contributed to the Euro falling to an 11-year low against the US dollar. What does this mean, besides the increased possibility of a Black Friday-like rush on De Wallen by Omaha-based bargain shoppers? Incredible discounts on some of our favorite European clothing brands, of course.

Take SWIMS, for instance. The fine Norwegian outerwear and shoemaker trades in Euros and ships to the US, and makes the Mobster overshoe, one of our all-time favorite accessories. It's an impenetrable rubber and neoprene shield that protects our footwear from the cold and snow of bike commutes, the slush of mid-day crosstown dashes, and the blood and vomit of Wednesday night happy hours spun completely out of control.

SWIMS wants €79.00 for a pair of Mobsters, which at today's exchange rate is $88.78. Add in the current swims.com 20% discount code Celebrating10! and they're just 71 bucks. By contrast, the price at US retailer Allen Edmonds is $149. If you're wondering, shipping isn't an issue. Buy two of anything at SWIMS and shipping is included.

The market has already factored in Alexis Tsipras as prime minister, so be sure to act before it starts correcting.

The Incredible Shrinking Kanye West

The Incredible Shrinking Kanye West

In reality, Kanye West is a reported 5' 8", i.e. just a tiny bit shorter than the average U.S. male. And yet despite his statistically confirmed averageness, West, who appears on the cover of the August GQ, is also a rare example of a celebrity who apparently aspires to be smaller than life. Over the last five years, we've watched in puzzlement as he has shown an increasing attachment to an extreme form of sartorial foreshortening. The deadly combo?

* Tshirts that cover more leg than any dress in Miley Cyrus's wardrobe.
* A "bunched" pants aesthetic that should be left to Sharpeis.
* High-tops.

Decreasing the apparent length of your legs from both above and below frequently results in a highly identifiable visual brand — as both the Oompa Loompas and Mr. Magoo can attest. But while it works for them, are these really the role models Yeezy wants to emulate? Unless you are a grotesquely adorable cartoon character, we discourage this method of dress.

See the full-size, shrunken-down Kanye West from the August 2014 GQ here.

Earlier: Spread collars fatten your face and neck

Ask the MB: College Budget Winter Boots

Sorel Kitchener Frosts via Amazon, $157.00
Sorel Kitchener Frosts via Amazon. $157.00.

Q: It's heartwarming to see you guys back. I've checked in daily since the start of your hiatus and your return is nothing short of a Christmas miracle.

The first snow of the season has fallen here in Boston, and on its heels is another New England winter. But I need to know what to put on my heels.

I'm on a college student's budget but I need boots to trudge through the slush and snow for the next four or five months. I know your stance on L.L. Bean, but the company is established, the products are American-made, and these leather hunting boots seem like they'd hold up. Thoughts?
—Michael

A: L.L. Bean has a well-deserved reputation for durability and great customer service. But we're still reluctant to recommend those shoes you're considering. Yes, they're hunting shoes, so maybe that stacked heel and high-contrast sole are designed to strike fear in the heart of a duck. To us, they just shout "Ladies riding boot crossed with a Dutch clog!"

Since we just posted about the Swims Mobsters, we're assuming you don't want overboots. You want actual boots and they need to be waterproof, which means you're going to end up with something fairly similar to the Beans, especially if you want to stay in that same general price range.

If it were us, we'd probably go with these Sorel Kitchener Frosts, in "Grizzly Bear." While sharing the same basic form as those Beans, they strike us as being less cloggy, and without the bulk of traditional Sorel PACs required here in Minneapolis. And just to let you know we're looking out for your college student's budget, you can get them via Amazon for $157.

Ask the MB: Triple Threat Boots?

Ask the MB: Triple Threat Boots?

Q: very happy to see that you guys are back to a regular posting schedule, and it couldn't have come at a better time for me because i'm in need of some black boots and need your advice.

i'm a public defender, and i need black footwear that'll look good with a suit, but i also want something that i can wear with jeans. and i live in alaska, so i need boots to trudge through the snow. the hydrogen-1 brand you recently endorsed would've worked, but they don't have boots available in my size. i'm about to pull the trigger on these frye chukkas, but wanted your input first
—Preston

A: Counselor:

An Alaskan winter will be like felony assault on those Frye boots. There is only one boot we know of that can pull the triple duty you desire — biz, cash, sludge — and it's the Prada 'New Tolbak' Chelsea boot, a dressier version of the Novo we've previously recommended.

Unless you’re on the take, though, we suspect they may be a bit pricey for your employee-of-the-state budget.

What we propose instead is to take custody of these terrific Swims 'Mobster Boot' Overshoes. They're $149, but completely vacate the elements, and feature a soft, insulating lining that buffs your shoes while you walk.

As for the shoes getting buffed, with the Mobsters in defense you can court the much larger (but still small) quantity of low-cut shoes that sit on the biz-cash knife's edge we're always looking for, like the Hydrogen-1s, and just about anything from their more expensive predecessor, Common Projects. (FWIW, the new Hydrogen-1 collection, available in a wide range of sizes, is here.)

This way, you'll have boots when there is snow to trudge through, and shoes for those rare Alaskan days when there isn't.

Ask the MB: Chukka Boots

Ask the MB: Chukka Boots
Q: What's the best chukka out there?
—CM


A: Our favorite chukka at the moment is from MB fave TST, available here. In the waning days of summer, even the casual, laid-back feel of a classic chukka boot feels too fancy for us, so we turn to the TST 2229s, which add some sneaker genes (rubber sidewall, fat cotton shoelaces) to the classic chukka's DNA. Like all TSTs, the 2229s look like they were crafted by master artisans with an awful hangover — their lines are graceful, perfectly proportioned, but undeniably shaky. We love the effect.

Even with a debt ceiling deal, at current exchange rates these are going to run you $250. Which if you ask us is actually a pretty good value for shoes you can wear at work (if you're a "creative" or a professional shoe model) and at leisure. And why would you want to be anything but a "creative" or a professional shoe model, especially in the waning days of summer?

Ask the MB: Doc Martens

Dr. Klaus Märtens and Dr. Herbert Funck
Dr. Klaus Märtens and Dr. Herbert Funck
Q: Seeking to embrace the inner bastard, I have increased the number of blazers in my wardrobe and the only writing on my t-shirts is if I am exercising or sleeping in them. One wardrobe staple of mine from the past many years does not appear to be mentioned as truly bastard-worthy and I am concerned. What says the MB on my basic black, made in England (Anglophile approved, I should hope) Doc Martens?
--Christopher


A: Christopher, you're on the right track -- the number of blazers in your closet should always exceed the total word count on your entire wardrobe. If you ever find yourself with more words than blazers, you either have to throw out some of your t-shirts or buy more blazers. (BTW, we're counting our WikiLeaks sweatshirts as one word).

Now we just need to work on your footwear; there's a reason why you haven't seen a DM recommendation here.

The Anglophilic pedigree of Dr. Martens is not nearly as strong as most people think. They were invented in 1945 by German army doctor Klaus Märtens, who hurt his foot while skiing in the Alps. While recovering from his injury, he designed a recuperative boot with soft leather and air-padded soles. So essentially Doc Martens are orthopedic Nazi shoes, and they certainly look the part!

(The Anglophiliac connection? In 1959, a British company, R. Griggs Group Ltd., acquired the rights to make and sell the shoes in the U.K.)

Browse our shoes channel and you'll find lots of far less clunky, more appropriate footwear options for your new and improved look.

Ask the MB: Header Sweater

Ask the MB: Header Sweater
Q: Definitely digging the new header. The holidays are a wonderful time for MBs to do what they do. Alas, the sweater featured on the model in the header is intriguing. Details?
--James


A: Let's get all the header questions out of the way at once:

SWEATER: Heirloom fisherman-knit cardigan, hand-woven in wool by Jean Cooke in Killarney, Ireland
SHIRT: John Varvatos
DENIM: Adriano Goldschmied ("Protege" fit)
SOCKS: Paul Smith
BOOTS: TST (available at YOOX)
CHAIR: Vagabond Vintage
RUG: IKEA Koldby
HOUSE: 1936 colonial
BOW: Michaels (in Green Bay)
WOMAN: 100% Wisconsin, born and bred

Ask the MB: Costume National Boots

Sold Out.
Sold Out.
Q: I have been searching (and saving) for a pair of the Prada Novo Calfskin Boots you featured in your masthead a couple years ago, and thought that these zip boots from Costume National Homme could tide me over in the interim. They have one pair left in my size. Are they MB or should I hold out for the Prada boots?
--Josh


A: Josh, first thanks for reading that long. Second, our barbershop masthead series was shot almost three years ago, in February 2008. The New York Times published a piece about "barbershop renaissance" on November 25 (2010). Finally, we hope you grabbed those boots because they're sold out. Costume National footwear has been very good to us and if you like anything from F/W 2010 it's all 50% off. Based on previous years' sale timing, if you wait a couple of more weeks it will go to 70% off.

Ask the MB: Crepe Soled Shoes in Winter

J. Shoes Mojave in Bark via J. Shoes, $145.00
J. Shoes Mojave in Bark via J. Shoes. $145.00.
Q: The other day you recommended J Shoes' mojave boots. I noticed they have a crepe sole and was wondering how these hold up in Wisconsin winters. I am interested in a different model with crepe soles for Philadelphia winters.
--Michael


A: Crepe soles were born on British soldiers fighting Rommel in the deserts of North Africa, then in 1950 Englishman Nathan Clark made them for civilians and called them "desert boots." These two facts are both strong hints about the wisdom of wearing them during Wisconsin winters, and intuitively we stow away our crepe-soled boots by Thanksgiving. But just to make sure we asked J. Shoes about it and here's what they said:
Crepe is a rubber latex material that changes with the temperature. It softens in the summer and gets hard in the winter, which means it can be slippery and dangerous on ice.
In our experience, the only footwear not dangerous on ice is a pair of skates, but while we want you in a pair of crepe-soled J. Shoes boots, leave the road slush and ice to footwear that's far more appropriate.

Ask the MB: Boots That Go With Those Jeans

Ask the MB: Boots That Go With Those Jeans
Q: What are the boots the model in the Betabrand Jeans ad is wearing in the majority of the pictures on their site? Or perhaps you can recommend a similar pair for a college student's budget.
--Dan


A: Dan, they're J SHOES' Mojave boot in Bark. While $145 is likely a little rich for a college student's budget, they're made in England, based on the classic British WWII desert boot (both nicely satisfying the Principle of Anglophilia), and will get better with age. In other words, you can't afford not to buy.

Antonio Maurizi Chukka Boots

Antonio Maurizi Chukka Boots via gilt.com, $188.00
Antonio Maurizi Chukka Boots via gilt.com. $188.00.
From the Antonio Maurizi web site:

"Love for what has been, obsession of quality 'musts,' osmosis, through an obstinate adherence to craftmanship skills and to the details the latter guarantee, amid the 'dream' and the 'sense' of the product; its implicit, discreet, invisible and yet perfectly clear meaning; a network of senses, a cultural continuity between the 'footwear' garment and its user, a genetic code shared by footwear and accessories, discrete audacity, simple imagination, laissez-faire rigour. Our work takes its inspiration from all of this: this is the quality of life in which we believe."

We believe we've never heard a bigger load of bullshit. But we also believe Antonio Maurizi is onto something with this sneaker and boot mashup. Originally $490, they're just $188 at Gilt and there are a bunch of sizes and three different colors available. (If you need an invite to Gilt, just let us know.)

Ask the MB: Boots in the Summer

Rugged twill MacAlister boots via J. Crew, $150.00
Rugged twill MacAlister boots via J. Crew. $150.00.
Q: When (if ever) is it acceptable to wear boots during summer? I'm getting tired of sneakers and flip flops already and it's only May. By the way, I live in Atlanta so it's damn near 100 degrees already with humidity through the roof. Boots just seem like TTH in the summer...what's the ruling?
--Cody


A: You've heard of desert boots, no? In the desert, it's always summer, at least when it isn't freezing. What we're saying is, sure, wear boots. Nothing higher than your ankle, and nothing an Eskimo would consider practical. Not long ago, we told our readers to stick with the classic desert boots -- Clarks. They're the boots that British officers wore in WWII while fighting tank battles with Rommel in the North African desert in June of 1942. The action was so hot there that the battle was dubbed "the Cauldron." But let's face it -- taking Panzer fire from Nazis in the dry wastelands of Libya in mid-summer is one thing, but Atlanta humidity is another thing entirely. So if you're looking for something a little lighter than suede, try these J. Crew MacAlister boots, which approximate the look of the Clarks originals but are constructed out of cotton twill.

Ask the MB: Paul Smith York Boots

Ask the MB: Paul Smith York Boots
Q: I'm considering these Paul Smith York boots and wanted to know your opinion on the quality and MBness
--JanD


A: Since you're asking, you can afford them. And since you can afford them, buy them. Then go to your favorite lounge and put your feet up on your table. You have arrived.

Ask the MB: Desert Boots

Ask the MB: Desert Boots
Q: What's a better choice for desert boots: leather or suede? Also, should I stick with Clarks or go for another brand?
--Sam


A:

1. Desert boots are suede.

2. Clarks invented desert boots. They were first worn by British officers doing battle with Rommel in the deserts of North Africa. In other words, stick with Clarks.

Ask the MB: Mark Nason Boots

Rock & Republic Motorcycle Boots via bluefly.com, $240.00
Rock & Republic Motorcycle Boots via bluefly.com. $240.00.
Q: Are Mark Nason boots ok?
--Tom


A: We've previously weighed in on Mark Nason boots, categorizing them as TTH and a gross violation of the understatement principle. Not to mention, whenever we see someone wearing them they're usually only part of a bigger, more comprehensive toolbag look.

If it's that rocker vibe you need, try the more toned-down style of Rock & Republic. They keep the skulls and other junk on the sole. An even more understated choice that still passes as rock 'n' roll is John Varvatos, and you don't have to worry about keeping your feet off of anyone's desk.

Ask the MB: Boots for Harsh NYC Winter

Red Wing Classic Work Boot via Berdorf Goodman, $230.00
Red Wing Classic Work Boot via Berdorf Goodman. $230.00.
Q: I live in New York and am beginning to think about the harsh winter snow and ice set to arrive in the coming months. I don't like Tingley's or galoshes so what is an MB boot to wear during the winter months that looks decent with a suit and good with jeans? Red Wing? Bass?
--Miles


A: Now that Red Wing boots have arrived at Bergdorf Goodman, we suppose that look has arrived in public as well. We're just not buying it, except, of course, to chop wood or build a barbed wire fence. Chalk one up to the marketing folks at Red Wing for a nice rebranding/repositioning, but avoid this soon-to-be short-lived trend and instead take a look at some of the new Prada options at bluefly. Sure, they are 2x or 3x as expensive as the Red Wings, but there is a high likelihood you'll still be wearing them in ten years. We've seen it happen. And they're flexible enough to work with a suit or jeans.

Ask the MB: Rocking Shoes

Ask the MB: Rocking Shoes
Q: I'm shopping for some new boots and or shoes that I can wear to work. I work in the music industry so, stylish is not only acceptable but encouraged. What do you think about the Clarks desert boot? Or Robert Wayne's "Crue." I have a strong suspicion that the "Crue" doesn't have a clue about MB status.
--Sethro


A: Sethro, it depends on how loudly the music you work with is typically played. Clarks desert boots meet just about every MB principle: They have a pedigree, they're Anglophilic, they're matte, and Steve McQueen wore them (top). But can you see Spinal Tap rocking "Sex Farm" or "Swallow My Love" in 'em? Exactly. This is where the Robert Waynes come in (bottom). Yeah, they're square-toed and shiny with an ugly Fleur de Lys design and an even uglier pirate on the sole, but you need something similar if your bands' amps go past 10.

Ask the MB: Cowboy Boot Protocol

Ask the MB: Cowboy Boot Protocol
Q: Hey Magnificent Bastards -- What is the MB protocol on cowboy boots?
--Evan in Maine


A: A very timely question, Evan. Last Thursday the Wall Street Journal's feature on Design Within Reach contained a picture of CEO Ray Brunner, who appeared to have grabbed whatever was within arm's reach for the photo shoot: an ill-fitting blazer and repp tie matched with cowboy boots and his age and body type looks totally ridiculous. In other words, you need the right "look" to successfully pull a pair of these off. Or on. Match yours with the five guys below to see where you fit.





Magnificent Bastard Cowboy Boot Scale

Ask the MB: Footwear for a Little Rain

Ask the MB: Footwear for a Little Rain
Q: We're in the middle of about a week straight of nothing but rain here in the Mid Atlantic, which got me thinking: What does the MB wear to keep his feet dry when he must venture out in wet weather? Women seem to be resorting to the Wellington but so far that trend does not seem to be making inroads among men. My grandfather used to wear galoshes but I haven't seen anyone wearing those either. In my Gore-Tex hiking boots I feel like a refugee from the mid 90s, when dressing as if one were on an Everest expedition was popular even if one were only going to the grocery store. There must be at least one fashionable option?
--Mark


A: Short wellies (like these from J.Crew) are MB approved, but they're really only necessary for weather systems with a name. Something with a name that makes the national news and maybe kills a few people, go ahead and upgrade to the full-height version. For anything else, like a little rain, get into something rubber-soled like these Prada Novo boots. We've suggested them before -- they were featured in a header pic from 2008 -- and stand by them in spite of the price. Some staffers have had these for over a decade, so they deliver value, and are cool as shit to boot.

Ask the MB: Red Wing Classic Lifestyle Boots

Ask the MB: Red Wing Classic Lifestyle Boots
What are your thoughts on these Red Wing Classic Lifestyle boots?: I know they are my style (rugged good looks, etc) but want to know if they are MB style for around town or in a relaxed office atmosphere. Thanks in advance.
--Mark


A: History, tradition, and pedigree are three nouns we like, and Red Wing has those in spades ... and if you had one and needed to dig a hole, these boots would work great. While not easy, they can be successfully urbanized/office-ized, perhaps with denim and a deconstructed blazer. Warning: go too casual on top and you might end up looking like a lost lumberjack. Tim-berrrrrrr!

Skuggs

Skull Boots via Neiman Marcus, $228.00
Skull Boots via Neiman Marcus. $228.00.
What do you get when you combine black sheepskin boots from Australia with skulls? Skuggs of course! These are on sale, but are no good at any price.

Ask the MB: Aldo Shoes

GONTAUT via Aldo, $79.98
GONTAUT via Aldo. $79.98.
Q: What is your opinion on Aldo shoes, a recent discovery of mine? I'm a 21 year-old college student, and I rock some less-than-subtle ankle zip boots, and some plaid tennis shoes by them rather often, but a friend says they stand out too much and seems like TTH. Maybe it just doesn't work in Arkansas.
--Ron


A: Hey Ron in Arkansas. Thanks for reading. This is the first we've heard from Arkansas. Anyhow, we're not big Aldo fans. Can't speak to the plaid tennis shoes but his boots look like a poor-man's Mark Nason. If you're going to TTH, go full throttle with Nason. Otherwise, our current favorite boot guy is John Varvatos and you can usually find them on eBay at a steep discount.

Ask the MB: Ugg Boots for Men Part 2

UGG Men's Rockville via uggaustralia.com, $200.00
UGG Men's Rockville via uggaustralia.com. $200.00.
Q: I generally agree that they are a terrible curse on humanity but these are quite MB in my opinion. They first caught my eye in a recent ad in GQ.
--Matt


A: Egads man. These ain't MB. They look like the result of a company with a history of making soft, cheap, sheepskin boots that decides to make something "badass." If you're wanting that buckle look in the same price range, try something from Frye, the oldest continuously operated shoe company in America (1863).

Ask the MB: Ugg Boots for Men

Men's Classic Short via uggaustralia.com, $130.00
Men's Classic Short via uggaustralia.com. $130.00.
Q: My wife just surprised me with a pair of men's Uggs (dark brown short boots) for my birthday. What should I do? I love my wife (she is sitting next to me).
--Stephen


A: Remember that wedding vow stuff? "For better or for worse"? Surely there was never any mention about Ugg boots for men, so read on.

These have been outgoing on women for well over a year and are a style trainwreck for men. It's great that you love your wife, Stephen. Sounds like you have a healthy, strong marriage, and even sit closely while emailing. Ask her for the receipt, give her a peck on the cheek, and then make your way to the mall for a return.

Ask the MB: More Pant Tucking

Would the High Plains Drifter tuck in?
Would the High Plains Drifter tuck in?
Q: Like the site. Love the wit. Disagree with the advice at times. Your recent comment about pants tucked into your boots will either be looked back upon as classic style genius, or out of step for 2009. Take a look at this:
--Eric


A: We don't believe in following the latest fad to emerge from some blog photographing some guy on a street in NYC. Anyhow, $100 says this look is actually unaffected and the result of his jeans being too skinny to go over his goddamn boots. Christ. Yet another unsightly byproduct of the skinny trend.

'Joe the Plumber' -- What Not to Do

'Joe the Plumber' -- What Not to Do
Joe Wurzelbacher, also known as "Joe the Plumber," has hired a publicist and may run for Congress, but he's already got a full-time job as the anti-MB. Yesterday in Defiance, OH: inarticulateness, shirt-sleeve legibility, and tapered jeans with cowboy boots.

Ask the MB -- Boots as Wardrobe Staple

John Varvatos Mercer Boot via zappos.com, $304.00
John Varvatos Mercer Boot via zappos.com. $304.00.
Q: As a young MB-in-training, I am always on the lookout for wardrobe staples that any MB cannot do without. The fall and winter seasons are approaching rapidly, and I am in dire need of the essential boot that cannot only withstand the harshest of weather, but also provide my feet with a look of class mixed with ruggedness. Finding such a pair is certainly a tough feat, and for that I graciously ask for your suggestions. Do note that I am but a mere collegian, so please forgo any exorbitant recommendations.
--Max


A: You low cash-flowin', high-falutin' word-usin' college boys are making it tough. We've previously discussed black leather boots as a wardrobe staple, and tried explaining why a $600 pair of Prada Linea Rossas was actually a wise investment. We prefer rubber soles these days, but if you're going for ruggedness then leather is the better choice. Assuming you have $600, put $300 towards beer and drugs and CliffsNotes; put the the other $300 towards these John Varvatos Mercer boots. (Also recommended: a more casual pebbled version from bluefly.)

Ask the MB -- MB Header Boots

Prada Linea Rossa Novo Calfskin Boot via Neiman Marcus, $590.00
Prada Linea Rossa Novo Calfskin Boot via Neiman Marcus. $590.00.
Q: What pair of boots are those in your header?
--Justin


A: Prada Linea Rossa Novo Calfskin Boot, available at Neiman Marcus. $590.

Now before our inbox gets filled with mail saying, "What the fuck are you doing endorsing a $600 pair of boots? I don't have that kind of bread, man!," understand the following MB principle that's at work: Black leather boots are an MB wardrobe staple, and no price is too high for an MB wardrobe staple you love.

Barney's Blowout a Benefit to MBs

John Varvatos Side Zip Boot via Barney's, $299.00
John Varvatos Side Zip Boot via Barney's. $299.00.
Barney's has decided to put a shitload of stuff on sale and we suggest diggin' in. Don't miss the chance to get into a pair of John Varvatos boots for less than $300. Black boots are an MB closet staple, and this side-zip model is an excellent choice.

The Barney's sale is also an opportunity to get ball-warming, 5-pocket pair of bootcut moleskin pants from Tony Melillo.

Finally, Saks is having a nice early fall sale with free shipping on every order.

Ask the MB

Dan Post mignon boots in black via Dan Post Boot Shop, $159.95
Dan Post mignon boots in black via Dan Post Boot Shop. $159.95.
Q: Is it okay for an MB to wear cowboy boots even though one is not a cowboy? I'm not talking hitting the streets in full western get-up (big belt buckle, bigger hat, hoe-down shirt, etc.), just a simple pair of Dan Post black, elk hide shit kickers with brown suede tips. Today I've paired them up with a pair of Levi's Silver Tab boot cut jeans (boots inside the jeans, not out) and a snug black t-shirt from gap. I'm 35, trim and in good shape. Am I really just trying to live out some western-type fantasy, or can I consider myself an MB? By the way, great web site!
—Phil


A: Yeeeehawwwww! We reckon' you've arrived, compadre. Even if it is some sort of western-type fantasy (and that's OK) it sounds like you've successfully pulled this off, and we rate the degree of difficulty an 8.1 on the MB 10-point scale. Well done, you elk hide-wearin' Magnificent Bastard.

Every other potential shit-kickin' MB out there take note: This is risky business with potentially very low reward, and there ain't many Phils out there. One of our core shopping principles comes from GQ's creative director Jim Moore: "Never buy cowboy boots in Texas." The MB corollary to that rule is the removal of the "in Texas" part.

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