Magnificent Bastard

Thursday, October 10, 2024



wallets

WINNERS! The "Holy Fucking Shit! Donald Trump is President" Contest

WINNERS! The

We combined our latest sale — two Made in USA ties for $60; use code BUYAMERICAN at checkout — with our latest contest: Identify the 13 people/rodent labeled in the banner ad and win free stuff.

First, the correct answers:

1. Leonard Nimoy as Mr. Spock in the original Star Trek
2. Kim Kardashian
3. Will Ferrell as Buddy in Elf
4. Queen Elizabeth II
5. Clint Eastwood as Walt Kowalski in Gran Torino
6. Janet Leigh as Marion Crane in Psycho
7. Jeff Bridges as The Dude in The Big Lebowski
8. Richard Simmons
9. Dramatic Chipmunk
10. George W. Bush
11. Katy Perry
12. Will Smith as Will Smith on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
13. Hillary Clinton

We needed to make this more difficult as most entries scored a 100%. Just about all of the failed entries were the result of identifying the Dramatic Chipmunk as a squirrel.

Anyhow, we ran the perfect scores through random.org and the winners are:

1st Place: Gregory Miller — A MB University tie
2nd Place: Conor Deegan — A Minimum Viable Wallet
3rd Place: Patrick Franz — A Baker's Dozen Letterpress Beverage Shields

Thanks to everyone for playing. In April we'll run the 7th-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Contest where you can win a great pair of sunglasses or eyeglasses, and MB will be sure to throw in some goodies, too. Stay tuned.

Ask the MB: Minimum Viable Wallet

Ask the MB: Minimum Viable Wallet

Q: Love the site. Sorry don't have a burning menswear question other than, I was wondering, how many cards fit in the wallet you current stock? I like the look, but need to carry 2 credits and some other flat cards (library, insurance, metro) and am wondering if they'll all fit.
—AJL

AJL, as much as we'd like to sell another Minimum Viable Wallet — available in Horween Chromexcel Black, Horween Chromexcel Brown, and Horween Latigo Tan — we cannot ensure its viability under the conditions you describe.

The Minimum Viable Wallet doesn't just boast a simple construction. It demands a simple life. While it can fit five cards, or even ten if, paradoxically, you have great patience and a lot of credit card debt, we designed it to work best with just three cards. It's a bit of choice architecture that keeps us judicious about what we really need in life — our driver's license, our Coutts World Silk Card, and of course our Trump Card.

Those three cards plus a wad of cash keeps us prepared but nimble. While we admire your commitment to intellectual development (library card) and urban sustainability (metro), the honest unvarnished truth is that because we optimized the MVW for the three cards we use, each additional card you add to the equation becomes infinitesimally more difficult to remove and insert. And we didn't create this wallet to make life more complicated — we created it to make life simpler!

If you ever decide to give up reading, planning for the worst, and one of your credit cards, let us know. Only then will we be able to sell you an MVW in good conscience.

A Sale! And a Contest! At the Same Time!

A Sale! And a Contest! At the Same Time!

2017 is off to a roaring start, and let's face it, no one's exactly sure if we'll make it to 2018. Or even March. So we're speeding up the pace here. Instead of having a sale now, and then somewhere down the line, when we get bored again, a contest, we're having a sale and a contest!


SALE

The terms of the sale are explained in the banner ad at the top of our site: 2 Made in the USA ties for $60. 4 for $120. Use code BUYAMERICAN at checkout.

Shop Ties Now!


CONTEST

The contest is simple too: Accurately identify the 13 people (and rodent) labeled in the banner ad and you're entered to win free stuff via a random drawing:

1st place: An MB University Tie
2nd place: A Minimum Viable Wallet (MVW) of your choice
3rd place: A baker's dozen Letterpress Beverage Shields

Here's the link to the contest entry. [THIS CONTEST IS OVER BUT STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT ONE.]

As a sort of prayer to the universe, we're accepting entries until March 7th, because we're hoping the USA survives at least through the Super Bowl and the first episode of Season 5 of The Americans. Good luck to us all!

Ask the MB: Affordable Wedding Tuxedo

The Best Tuxedo Value on the Internet?
The Best Tuxedo Value on the Internet?

Hey folks, I recently popped the question to my longtime girlfriend, and for some reason, she said yes.

I would love to marry the woman of my dreams in an equally incredible tuxedo. I have no clue where to start, but I want something cool and classic with a pop. Money is an object, but the right suiting is worth it. Be my sherpas and (please!) point me in a direction.
—Mike

A: Mike, we are both honored and humbled that you would ask us for advice on what might be the biggest mistake day of your life.

We adhere to our 2008 stance and say a wedding tuxedo should be able to stand a 100 year test of time. While it's been only 8 years since we recommended the classic Ralph Lauren peak lapel version, it looks as good now as it did when John McCain was running for president.

The only catch is it's $1,395, up from $1,350. There is bigger value to be had.

Until ASOS and UNIQLO start making tuxedos, we shall rely on YOOX, where there is an additional 25% off through August 26. Here are some suggestions that meet our style requirements:

Boss Black. $551 ($413 with 25% discount)
DSquared2. $1,182 ($886)
Lanvin. $1,117 ($838)
Gucci. $1,307 ($980)

All of these options are fairly similar, aesthetics-wise, so choose the one that's the best fit for your wallet and your torso. If you're feeling symbolic, give extra consideration to the DSquared2, which is 5 percent elastane. Normally, we're against synthetics, but any marriage built for the long haul can always use a tiny amount of stretch.

Apply your savings towards your shoes, shirt, tie, and if you want a good deal on groomsmen gifts, we'll be happy to work something out to help you celebrate your big day.

Best of luck to you and your new bride, and let us know what you end up deciding on.

Meanwhile, check out our wedding ring advice.

Ask the MB: Does the Minimum Viable Wallet Work?

Ask the MB: Does the Minimum Viable Wallet Work?

Q: My wang is out for the Horween MVW, but only a video will convince me that the elastic strap will be hold what matters. Need to see it in action.
—Aaron

Here's the Minimum Viable Wallet in Horween Chromexcel Brown and Lambeau Pride strap, fitted with two cards and three Jacksons, held by Donald Trump's tiny hand, in front of some of our best friends.

Just because it's the MVW doesn't mean it hasn't gone through extensive development and QA. Over the past 12 months we've tweaked every element of the platform and its plug-ins to bring you the best in minimalist wallet technology.

Introducing The Minimum Viable Wallet

Minimum Viable Wallet in Horween Chromexcel Brown via Magnificent Bastard, $25.00
Minimum Viable Wallet in Horween Chromexcel Brown via Magnificent Bastard. $25.00.

Are you walking around with a piece of 19th century technology in your back pocket? Today, we introduce the antidote to bulky, obsolete legacy billfolds that were designed for an era when wallets moonlighted as photo albums: The Minimum Viable Wallet.

We start with a single folded piece of Horween leather. We add an elastic strap that attaches to the folded piece using two brass clips. You store your credit cards inside the folded leather. You use the elastic strap to secure your cash.

Sure, we could have made it even simpler, but then it would not be viable. What you see here is exactly how much wallet a man with a large line of credit and an enduring desire to occasionally brush his fingertips against a few real bills needs to function in the current moment.

The straps are changeable, because we know a man gets restless, even with his wallet. With our system, you can customize your Minimum Viable Wallet as the situation warrants. Going to the game? Then you'll need the Lambeau Pride strap. Meeting with Moroccan arms dealers? The Secret Agent works best for that. When you purchase a Minimum Viable Wallet, you get three straps of your choice. And you have three leather platforms to choose from: Horween Chromexcel Brown, Horween Chromexcel Black, and last but definitely not least Horween Latigo Rio. Just $25. Have a look.

MB Giveaway: Malcolm Fontier 'New Yorker' Bag

MB Giveaway: Malcolm Fontier 'New Yorker' Bag
Malcolm Fontier founders Malcolm Fontier and Gabrielle Kennedy are promoting their new carry-on, duffel, and tote by using them on a trip from the cafes of Copenhagen to the mud huts of the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

Magnificent Bastard is doing its part from its comfy offices in Wisconsin by giving away the duffel, dubbed the "New Yorker." It holds enough duds for an overnight trip (or weekend jaunt if you pack well) and a laptop, too. It's a $285 value. All you have to do to enter is follow MB. Entry deadline is Friday, October 29 and we'll randomly pick a winner on Monday, November 1. (While Malcolm and Gabrielle may be on an international trip, ya gotta live in the United States to claim this prize.)

Meanwhile, if you're like us and have sent your wallet to a fat farm, their Mojito is an affordable option ($29) that efficiently holds all you need: a couple of cards and few twenties.

Ask the MB: Minimalist Wallets

Ask the MB: Minimalist Wallets
Q: Let's talk about Bastardic pockets/pocket gear. Am I correct in the belief that inside an MB's pockets there should only be a minimalistic non-George Costanza wallet, a maximum of 2 keys with no obtrusive keyring and a cellphone? Keys and wallet on the left, phone on the right and party in the middle. Oh, and a mini Altoids tin in the coin pocket of your jeans, as this eliminates that offensive sound of announcing your arrival by walking. I have this Dopp wallet which I think is MB...your thoughts?
--Robert


A: We've previously endorsed minimal, non-George Costanza wallets. Specifically, the MAKR CARRY GOODS "One" ($60) made from free-range cattle each given a loving pat on the head before being shipped to slaughter, and Malcolm Fontier's polyurethane "Mojito" ($29) for more highly evolved types.

While Dopp certainly has a pedigree -- German immigrant Charles Doppelt invented the toiletry case in 1919 -- a magnet seems like an especially bad materials choice for a money clip. Besides potentially demagnetizing something like a room key, the clip's effectivness diminishes in proportion to the more cash an MB is carrying.

Ask the MB: MAKR Leathergoods

Minimal - Wash Brown via MAKR CARRY GOODS, $65.00
Minimal - Wash Brown via MAKR CARRY GOODS. $65.00.
Q: I just got a wallet by MAKR carry goods. Originally recommended by GQ. Are these MB? They fit most criteria: obscure (though not so much now that they've been featured by GQ), made of natural materials, exclusive (they're made by hand in very limited numbers, and currently they're is a many month wait for any of their limited collection), have no visible labels, and they're largely impractical as they're too small to carry more than three cards and an I.D. The only thing they're missing is a pedigree.
--Ben


A: Ben, your instincts are good. MAKR is new to us, but we love what we see. Their "minimal" line is where we've ended up after years of carrying wallets. Try it and you won't go back. What do you really need? We'll tell you: your driver's license, one credit card, cash. Why ruin the clean lines of your AG jeans with proof of insurance and a Ralphs value club card?

(Note: For you highly evolved types who think a cow's natural purpose in life does not involve being turned into hamburgers and menswear accessories, try Malcolm Fontier's excellent polyurethane Mojito with two pockets, one for cards, the other for cash. $25.)

Ask the MB -- Wallets

J.Fold Supersonic II Wallet via Tobi, $53.00
J.Fold Supersonic II Wallet via Tobi. $53.00.
Q: My wallet of over 8 years was recently lost so I'm looking for an MB-approved wallet or alternative to carrying money and necessary cards. Something slim, to be sure.
—Pedro


A: We can hardly overstate how much we like J.Fold wallets, but let's try: There's a model for every MB, whether you're just starting out, or are in the corner office. They're high quality, affordable, and get loads of comments when exposed in public. End of story. Find the style that fits you at Tobi, ebags.com, or amazon.

POURCAST

BETA

Martinez

  • 2 parts Hayman's Old Tom Gin
  • 1 part sweet vermouth (Carpano Antica Formula or Dolin Rouge)
  • 1/4 part Luxardo Maraschino liqueur
  • 2 dashes Fee Brothers Whiskey Barrel Aged Bitters

Shake or swirl lightly, garnish with a lemon twist.


In-Depth Martinez Coverage:

MB Holiday Cocktail Guide

×

Currently in
Minneapolis, Minnesota

69° Partly Cloudy

Martinez

Enter any city on earth & start cocktailing. (Zip codes work, too.)

Feedback? editor@magnificentbastard.com


recent posts

@magbas


ask mb

Got a style question? We're all ears. And antlers. Ask away.


tip mb

If you know about something you think we should know about, let us know (so we can pretend we knew about it all along). Send a tip.


features


channels