Magnificent Bastard

Saturday, July 26, 2025



Ask the MB -- Distressed Jeans

AG '25 Year' Jeans via AG, $325.00
AG '25 Year' Jeans via AG. $325.00.
Q: I am an aspiring MB. I do my best to adhere to your teachings. I ran into some trouble the other day while shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was at Nordstrom, going from section to section looking for a good pair, I inquired with the clerk what jeans would work best for my build (tall slim). The problem came when I realized I didn't like any of the jeans. Every pair was distressed and creased, they looked like they had all been pulled form fire at the Levi's factory. Now mind you I don't mind a little fad to the color, or even a tasteful fringe. But I feel like designers are just going overboard with this distressed thing. I feel like it's gone the way of the skull. (I figure if you see Hulk Hogan in it, it is non-MB) Anyway I left the store without buying anything. I settled on nice pair of slightly faded black Von Dutch. What is the MB stance on distressed? Is it done?
--Cooper

A: Well, it's not done according to AG, who's selling a "25 Year" jean for $325. We've never been a fan of distressed because it's unauthentic, like fake boobs. Wear your favorite pair of AGs for a few years and they'll be distressed, and real.

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BETA

Southside (MB-Bastardized)

  • 2 oz gin
  • 1 oz fresh lemon juice
  • 1 sugar cube (or half teaspoon simple sugar)
  • soda water (if desired)

Place the sugar cube at the bottom of a lowball glass, add the fresh lemon juice, and mash with the back of a spoon. Fill two-thirds with ice and the gin and stir for at least 30 seconds. Add soda water, if desired, and give a quick stir. Garnish with a lemon wedge.

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