Magnificent Bastard

Monday, October 20, 2025



Ask the MB: Sideburn Length to Width Ratio

Ask the MB: Sideburn Length to Width Ratio
Q: I was wondering about appropriate MB sideburn length. Specifically, what's the appropriate sideburn length-to-width ratio? I've seen guys whose sideburns are narrow, but grown fairly long (past the earlobe) and it looks too long to me given the width. It got me thinking, thus my question. Thanks!
—Evan


A: When it comes to sideburn length, follow the golden ratio — 1.6180339887. In other words, if you want sideburns 1 inch in width, make sure they are 1.6180339887 inches long. We know maintaining that degree of precision sounds tough, but over time, you will master it.

Throughout history, Wikipedia tells us, architects, artists, industrial designers, and Mother Nature herself have relied on the golden ratio as an aesthetic guide. If it's good enough for da Vinci, Mondrian, Le Corbusier, and the Parthenon, it's good enough for your face.

Use the chart below as a handy guide.

magnificent bastard sideburns chart

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BETA

Old Fashioned

  • 1 raw sugar cube
  • 2 dashes Angostura bitters
  • 3 oz bourbon

On bottom of Old Fashioned glass (what else?) dribble bitters on sugar cube. Muddle. Fill with ice, then with bourbon. Garnish with lemon twist. No, not a thick orange wedge, handful of cherries, or a cup of fruit salad. A simple lemon wedge.


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