Magnificent Bastard

Friday, April 19, 2024



Ask the MB -- What to Drive

Ask the MB -- What to Drive
Q: Forgive me if this question is outside the realm of the MB: What's the best method of automotive transportation for an MB? I get mixed signals in an age of "going green" and MB principles of exclusivity, understatement and bastardness. Something ostentatious like a Hummer is no doubt passé and a Prius is too ubiquitous and trendy. My main mode of transport is a 40 MPG, 1997 Honda Civic HX with 256,000 miles. It's a great car and has never broken down but I suspect it's neither magnificent or bastardly. Thoughts?
--Dan


A: This question no doubt deserves full treatment in the form of an MB Scientific Chart, but we're currently all too drunk from free booze at several GOP Convention parties to put one together. In the meantime, your instincts on the Hummer and the Prius are right on, and you're obviously understanding core MB principles like exclusivity and understatement. But the '97 Civic violates another core principle: a senseless lack of utility. Your car doesn't break down enough. Sorry ... where were we? Tune in later for a chart.

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Stir over ice, strain into a chilled cocktail glass, and garnish with a pearl onion.


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