Magnificent Bastard

Thursday, February 25, 2021



Tim Lincecum Saves Giants' World Series Victory Parade

Tim Lincecum Saves Giants' World Series Victory Parade

The Giants' World Series victory parade through downtown San Francisco was an alarming if not unpredictable display of brute toolbag power. Like a murderer's row of Jersey Shore extras, one player after the next swung for the fences and knocked good taste out of the park.

Between the "Kiss This Ring" sweatshirts and costume-jewelry title belts, and softball-sized watch faces, we weren't sure if we were watching a victory parade or a runway show for a Flavor Flav garage sale.

Even designated savior Madison Bumgarner did little to stem the rampant tide of toolbaggery. With his backward ballcap and orange garbage bag poncho, he looked like he was wearing a Darth Vader Halloween costume from The Nickel Store.

Luckily, relief finally showed up in the unlikely form of little-used pitcher Tim Lincecum. Though the one-time superstar only saw 1 ⅔ innings of action in the series, during a Game 2 loss to the Royals, his victory parade mechanics were in top form. No team colors? Check. No trash-talking commemorative sweatshirts or visible logos of any kind? Check. Well-tailored shacket paired with an artfully disheveled scarf and what looks to be a cashmere beanie? Check.

Put this guy back in the starting rotation, skip! He's ready to play.

Earlier: 7 Ways to Tie a Scarf Based on the Game-Time Temperature at Lambeau Field

POURCAST

BETA

Sazerac

  • 3 shots rye whiskey (or to taste)
  • 1 sugar cube
  • Peychaud's Bitters
  • quarter shot of Absinthe
  • lemon twist

Soak the sugar cube with the bitters and place in the bottom of a highball glass. Mash with the back of a spoon (or muddler, which we hope has not been used to make a Mojito), add the rye whiskey and fill the glass with ice. Stir for about 30 seconds and then strain into another lowball glass that has been rinsed with Absinthe and filled about halfway with ice. Garnish with a lemon twist.


In-Depth Sazerac Coverage:

Ask the MB: Spring Cocktail Guide

×

Currently in
Minneapolis, Minnesota

27° Clear/Sunny

Sazerac

Enter any city on earth & start cocktailing. (Zip codes work, too.)

Feedback? editor@magnificentbastard.com


recent posts

@magbas


ask mb

Got a style question? We're all ears. And antlers. Ask away.


tip mb

If you know about something you think we should know about, let us know (so we can pretend we knew about it all along). Send a tip.


features


channels