Ask the MB: Breast Guys

October 10, 2008

Q: While we have long had our suspicions, you have made it abundantly clear that you, dearest, are a true blue, card-carrying breast guy. Of course, we love that about you ... it shows that under that cool, aloof and artfully disheveled exterior lies a lusty, red-blooded bastard. Luckily for us boyish-figured girl detectives, however, there is a non-negligible percentage of your brethren who are actually ass guys. (Perhaps you have a diagram for this?) Why don't you throw them some sugar from time to time, Sugar?
--Nancy Drew

A: We will definitely consider how an ass-breast chart be best laid out. In the meantime, we don't think it's abundantly clear we're breast guys. We've admired Heidi Klum's ass (in spite of the Photoshop lypo), and flat-chested Audrey Hepburn is one of our favorites. We were also one of the first organizations on record as being opposed to Hillary Clinton's increased cleavage exposure.

Would real breast guys take that stance? OK, well, maybe. But the point is, we do not discriminate or play favorites. Breasts and asses have equality before the ~~law~~ MB.

It's all really a moot point anyhow. A bird's personal style and what's between her ears trump breasts and asses any day.